Happy Mother's Day. Every Day.

Another Mother’s Day is upon us. According to the National Retail Federation, Americans spent $21.4 billion last year on Mother’s Day gifts and that figure is expected to increase this year. Mother’s Day is also typically the day where telecom providers around the world experience the highest call volumes of the year. I wonder: Are we really that busy to pick up the phone the rest of the year?

A few days from now, the flowers would go from the vase to the trash bin. The cards would move from the counter top to a box or a drawer. The festivities and excitement would be over; things would return to how it has always been, just like the other 364 days of the year.

Motherhood is a lifelong “job”

Unlike the holiday, motherhood is something that lasts year-round. Welcome to the second shift, the thankless job that greets working mothers when they get home from work.

There is no lack of stories about the unconscious bias that women face at work. Add motherhood on top of it and you face a whole new layer of challenges. People tend to make assumptions, founded or unfounded, about how you work. Have you ever asked a woman how they balance their work life and their “job” of tending to young children? Thinking back, when was the last time you asked a man the same question? What about after work happy hour or networking dinner? Did you ever assume that a mother would need to go home and take care of her family that you wouldn't even bother asking her to join? But how many key discussions and connections are made during these “informal” gatherings when women are not present?

The unfortunate reality is, at this day and age, women still face uphill battles at work. Try returning to the workforce full-time after taking a year or two off to take care of your young kids. Some people would just assume you have not been in touch with the latest tech, or that you would have inflexible hours, or that you would not be as dedicated or committed as before. Like it or not, you might have to put in extra effort to prove yourself, never mind that you are the very same person you have always been before motherhood, if not better. In fact, I would argue, motherhood prepares you for managing up, especially when execs behave like little children.

Being a mother is a much tougher job than being in the corporate world. You don’t get paid time-off to recharge, you can’t just turn off the phone or laptop to get a break, and you don’t get a sick day to sleep in even if you really need to. It is not something you can simply walk away or retire from. Despite increased effort by men in sharing the daily chores, women still typically carry a bigger share of the responsibilities. You become the world’s best multi-tasker because you realize you only have so many hours in the day with competing priorities. Add that to the typical challenge that you face being a female at the workplace.

Based the most recent research from Accenture: Getting to Equal 2017, for every $100 that a woman earns, a man earns $258.

When you take into account the rest of the unpaid work such as caregiving (especially for those who have to take care of both the parents and younger children), the effects are immense.

Lisa Wade discussed the so-called “motherhood penalty” and “fatherhood premium” in her recent article. Gender pay gap tends to be small amongst younger workers, but widens for those aged 35 to 44 when they are going through life events including marriage and childbirth.

“Every child born to or adopted by a woman decreases her income by 4%. A man’s income, in contrast, goes up by 6%.”

Our society, it would seem, treats working fathers more favorably than working mothers.

It takes a village

On another grim note: the 2016 Global Gender Gap Report from the World Economic Forum (WEF) estimates that it will take 170 years to achieve gender parity in the workplace.

For our sake and the sake of generations after us, let’s hope we can work together and accelerate the change. One hundred and seventy years is simply too long.

And remember, every bit helps, even if they might seem minor. When you return to work tomorrow, make sure you take the time to appreciate and celebrate the working mothers in your team. Know that she has likely gone through quite a bit to get to where she is. Make an extra effort to elevate them when they are not being heard. Be a voice of reason and demystify stereotypes. Be inclusive when you schedule networking activities outside of the office to make sure they are invited. And above all, remember that commitment and dedication should not be assumed by one’s parental status.

Achieving gender parity is teamwork; success will require effort from all genders.

Who notices when we are running out of toilet paper?

I will close by quoting from Ellen Seidman’s blog post. In there she asked:" Who notices when we are running out of toilet paper?”

Indeed, who notices when you are running out of toilet paper in the house or running low on snacks? Or when the kids are due for check-ups? Or when various birthdays and anniversaries are approaching? 

Bearing and delivering a baby is just the beginning of a new chapter of a woman’s lifelong journey. Make sure you take the time to celebrate your mother and the mother of your children. Appreciate her for what she has done for the family, and what she has done for her work. And do this not just one day of the year when you see the Hallmark reminder.

A mother’s caring of the family’s needs certainly doesn't start and end in one day.

Celebrate today. Every day.