Happy Money - How to change your relationship with money

Money is a deeply emotional subject and that is why you don't find people discussing their paychecks at the dinner table. A person can struggle with financial stress and not tell anyone including their spouse and yet when you meet them they will give you a big smile. Some of us feel so guilty when we do well with money and try to hide it from friends and family.

Ken Honda in his book called "Happy Money" identifies two kinds of money - happy money and unhappy money. All the money circulated with love, happiness, and friendship is happy money. Happy money makes people smile and feel loved and cared for deeply. Imagine lending a helping hand to a struggling friend or receiving money from a satisfied client.

Conversely, unhappy money is the kind of money you use to begrudgingly pay your bills, rent, and taxes. Imagine painfully paying back a loan you spent on a bad investment or receiving a salary from a job you hate.

Ken Honda argues that it is up to us to choose which kind of money flows in our lives. Our relationship with money depends on which kind of energy is used when receiving or giving money. A positive mindset of gratitude and love with all our financial transactions leads to happy money and a happy life. On the contrary worry, anxiety, and strife lead to unhappy money and an unhappy life. You can choose to be grateful when you receive money and you can give generously with joy and enthusiasm.

Most of our beliefs and experiences about money are learned in childhood. Many of us grew up in poverty and scarcity and we never break out of this poverty mindset even when our means improve. Some of us will even try to spend a lot to buy a fancy lifestyle because we are trying to escape this deeply embedded fear of poverty.

In some homes, the mother was the breadwinner and young boys subconsciously consumed this mindset that women are the ones who provide. When these young men get married, they subconsciously neglect their responsibilities to provide for their families to their wives. The young wife may have grown up with the father bearing all responsibility. This leads to a clash between the two causing unhappy money and strife at home.

Some people have feelings of shame, guilt, and worthlessness when it comes to money. They subconsciously believe they are not good enough and will never amount to anything. These limiting beliefs were implanted into their innocent minds when they were young. It could have been a critical mother, an abusive father, a strict teacher, etc. They were blamed, criticized, and punished for any small mistakes. Their self-esteem was badly wounded and they have never healed even in adulthood. So they carry these wounds into the workplace, into their relationships, and into their finances. These wounds manifest as destructive behaviors including too much drink, promiscuity, overspending, gambling, all sorts of addictions, procrastination, laziness, and the like. Many of these behaviors eventually lead to unhappy money.

Ken Honda, argues that to overcome such limiting beliefs and change our relationship with money we need to increase our awareness of the kind of energy we have around money. Are we constantly worried about money? Do we hate our jobs? Do we begrudgingly pay our bills? Are we generous with our money?

One simple practice to change how we feel about money is to say "thank you" whenever we receive or spend money. So when you pay your rent say thank you to the landlord for allowing you to stay in their house. When you pay school fees have a grateful heart for giving your children a brighter future. When you receive your salary be grateful that you have a job which can provide for your needs. Be grateful for everything that provides for your needs. Be grateful for the government and politicians who maintain peace and security so you can go about your business.

Don't whine and complain about anything in your life. Don't complain about the lazy employees in your business. Be grateful that you even have a business in the first place. Don't be anxious about taxes. Be thankful that your taxes help to provide public services.

Forgive everyone in your life who might have hurt you, criticized you, abused you, and made you feel worthless. Forgiveness is a powerful antidote to feelings of shame, anger, and guilt. You should also forgive yourself for the mistakes you have made. You are a beautiful soul with so much to offer the world.

A grateful and forgiving attitude is a powerful precursor to happy money and a happy life. So practice this every day. Say, thank you to everyone you buy anything from with a big smile. Let go of small things which could disturb your peace of mind. Forgive people even before they do anything wrong to you. In time you will find that happy money begins to flow in your life. Your self-esteem and confidence will improve. Your clients will bring you more business. Your employees will work harder for you. Your boss will promote you. And the universe will realign itself to bring to you all your heart's desires!