Happy Holidays??
Celebrating the Holidays of Thanksgiving, Christmas and the New Year can be difficult for those who have lost a loved one. The amount of time that has passed doesn’t always matter or make it easier. So many people tell us," Happy Holidays ", or "Merry Christmas ", but in our hearts we feel sad and alone. It can be hard to be happy and merry. I recently read an article that I would like to share.
“ Someone once said that pain in itself is not unbearable; It is the failure to understand its meaning that is unbearable.
One of the most difficult aspects of grief is trying to find meaning in our pain. St Paul tells us that “ all things work for good for those who love God. “
We want to believe that something good will come from the death of our loved one, but our vision is blinded by our sorrow. We cannot see beyond the immense pain that we are feeling today. The Holidays can really intensify this pain. Our inability to understand makes everything worse too.
We are like the Apostles after Jesus died. All of their hopes and dreams were destroyed when Jesus died. They did not understand. Even after Jesus rose from the dead, they could not comprehend the immensity of what had happened. After the Holy Spirit descended upon them, did they finally discover the meaning and purpose in everything that had happened. It took their lives in an entirely different direction.
We will also find the meaning in the death of our loved one. Like the Apostles, we will find it hard to understand in the beginning. But in time, we will develop a deeper understanding of ourselves and our loved one because of our grief. We may discover new insights. We may see new opportunities to help others because of what happened to us. We may find a new outlook on life and a new way of living.
Like the grain of wheat that Jesus talks about in the Gospels, our old life died with the death of our loved one, but a new life for us will begin again, and our new life will bear good fruit.
“ Lord, I don’t understand. I am consumed with grief, especially during this time of year. Help me to believe in the promise of new life, both for my loved one and myself. Lord, help me to see deeper meaning and purpose in my life. Give me the courage to move through my grief. "
Amen. “