HAPPY HALLOWEEN FROM "THE POODLES OF PARK AVENUE" BY KAREN-CHERIE COGANE!

Fast Forward to 10/31 with Simone, the Park Avenue poodle: “It’s a Halloween hi and boo from me!

My parents are having a party, or in dog lingo, pawty to celebrate this great day!

Can’t wait to see everyone’s -- people and pets -- costumes!

First Frank, my dog walker took me, Ricardo, my poodle beau, and Mojito, my nutty Chihuahua walking partner, on a nice Halloween stroll.

Mojito is dressed up again as a hotdog. Says he identifies with this costume since he likes hotdogs (cold) so much. Go figure. How about another theme for a change? Mojito looks cute, though.

Not going to tell you what my Halloween costume is or Ricardo’s get-up yet, but this is what happened.

Me: “Hi Mojito! I’m a sheep!”

Mojito: “You don’t look like it.”

“Thanks a lot,” I answered.

Mojito: “You’re standing up, so how can you be asleep?”

Me: “I can still be a sheep and stand up.”

The Chihuahua: “But how can you talk to me?”

“I’ll admit that it is frustrating, sometimes, like now, but I’m trying,” I told him.

Mojito: “You talk when you’re asleep?”

“Well, it’s a holiday, so yes, I do. Don’t I look nice?” I asked.

Mojito: “You look the same except your hair is a little curlier.”

“It’s all part of my look for today. I wanted to look different, and I had a perm done at the salon. Didn’t Lily do a good job?” I said.

The Chihuahua: “You have a special hairdo when you’re asleep?”

“Of course. I know I’m a fluffy white poodle, but I wanted to look like a sheep,” I replied.

“Don’t really get it,” he said.

I responded: “Bien sur.”

“What?” he asked.

Me: “It means ‘of course’ in French.”

“You and your French,” the Chihuahua said.

“That’s right. My breed is originally from France, so I like to speak French, too. But I like your hotdog costume, even though you were the same thing last year,” I told Mojito.

Mojito: “Si, I love hotdogs, so I want to salute them.”

Me: “You love to eat them cold.”

“So what?” he said.

“Nothing. Nothing,” I scoffed.

Mojito: “Aren’t you tired?” he asked.

“Why do you say that?” I asked.

“Cause’ you’re asleep, and you’re standing,” Mojito stated.

Me: “Standing or laying down, what’s the difference?”

The Chihuahua: “You’re confusing me.”

“As usual . . . As usual . . . When are you not confused?” I told him.

Mojito: “What are you dressing up for Halloween as?”

“I told you: I’m a sheep!” I snapped.

“Stop saying that!” he yelled.

Me: “Why should I even bother and say anything to you?”

The Chihuahua: “Because it’s a great honor since I’m Mojito, and I’m the greatest!”

Moi: “I repeat: Do you like my sheep costume, Mojito?”

“What? What?” he asked.

“I’m a SHEEP FOR HALLOWEEN!” I exclaimed.

“It’s not my problem. You should get more sleep at night,” Mojito said.

Me: “No, today, I’m dressed as a sheep, you know, the animal that goes: ‘Bah! Bah!’”

Mojito: “Well, you don’t look asleep. You just don’t!”

Frank: “Mojito, Simone keeps telling you that she is going as a SHEEP for Halloween. Look at her: She’s a Sheep!”

The Chihuahua: “You mean, you’re not asleep?”

Me: “Oh. Silly, how could I be asleep and speaking to you at the same time?”

“I heard people and dogs talk in their sleep, so I thought you were doing that,” Mojito said.

“No! No! No! I’m wide awake. How could I not be after this ridiculous conversation?” I spoke.

“Oh, I get it, I think. You’re dressed up as a Sheep, the animal for Halloween,” he realized.

“Oui, yes, it took you long enough. Isn’t my sheep costume adorable?” I replied.

Mojito: “I guess you look kind of cute, not that different, but cute.”

Ricardo: “Can’t you ever give her a real compliment, Mojito?”

Mojito repeats: “Can’t you ever give a real compliment?” Then he asks Ricardo: “Who are you for Halloween?”

Ricardo: “I was going to be a black sheep but instead, I’m a cow!”

The Chihuahua: “Big whoop. Look the same to me.”

Ricardo: “Well, they gave me a special hair conditioning treatment yesterday at the salon to prepare for Halloween. Simone and I had a joint Beauty Day. They gave me a doggie deep conditioner.”

“What’s that?” Mojito asked.

“A special treatment that makes my hair softer,” Ricardo revealed.

Mojito: “So you and Simone are both sheep?”

Ricardo and me: “No, Mojito, listen for a change! Simone’s a white sheep, and I’m a cow, like I just told you! Moo! Moojito!”

The Chihuahua (sarcastically): “What? My name is Mojito, not Moo Moojito!”

Ricardo: “Just kidding you. We’re farm animals for Halloween. Frank got our costumes for us, just like the pics below, except Large for Standard Poodles.”

Mojito: “Very funny and lucky you.”

Me: “Don’t be jealous.”

Ricardo: “Of course he is. Who wouldn’t be? I mean, look at you, beautiful Simone!”

“Merci” I said to Ricardo.

Ricardo uttered to me: “Mon belle caniche, je t’aime.”

Mojito: “Your French, Ricardo. Speak English!”

Ricardo: “Mojito, keep quiet! I’m a poodle, too, so I speak French, English, poodle, and Spanish because of Jorge, my pet dad! I’m quatrelingual!”

Mojito: “Stop fighting with me. Stop it!”

Ricardo: “Take it easy. The only one arguing is you.”

Me: “Frank, do something, please.”

Frank: “It’s all in the spirit of fun, Mojito. Relax. Calm down. It’s Halloween.”

Me: “Let’s call it HOWL-O-WEEN” in honor of Mojito!

Frank said: “I’m taking you to Central Park to see some other doggies in costumes for Halloween and then home to get ready for your party.”

Mojito: “Can I come to the party? Please?”

“I don't know. Are you going to behave?” Frank asked Mojito.

“I’m always good,” the Chihuahua said.

Me: “Yeah, right.”

Mojito: “I will behave. Si.”

Frank: “If you don’t behave, I’ll take you home right away from Simone’s soiree.”

Mojito: “I’m such a handsome hotdog everyone will want to see me and meet me. I'm a doggie chick magnet!"

Me: “But definitely not hear you.”

The Chihuahua: “Simone, you’re the one with the loud poodle voice. I have soft Chihuahua barks that are like melodies.”

“Have you ever heard yourself? All you do is yap, shout, and make shrill sounds that hurt my ears. I should wear ear plugs! Oh, and you always turn in circles,” I corrected.

“Oh, shut up, you spoiled poodle, sheep, or whatever you are!” Mojito yelled.

“Fermez la bouche!” I insisted.

Mojito: “What does that mean?”

“Shut up in French,” I scoffed.

“Can’t you speak English?” he asked.

“Like you understand anything I say. Get over it! I’m a poodle, and I’m trilingual. I speak English, French, and poodle. And you’re so thick,” I continued.

“No, I’m very thin – only weigh six pounds. Will Lexi be there? Will she?” Mojito questioned.

Simone: “Yes, but you must stay away from her. All you can do is paw wave. Understood?”

Frank: “Simone’s right, Mojito.”

Mojito: “I don’t understand why since Lexi is my crush, and she’s so pretty and soft with her long Sheepdog fur, but um, okay.”

Simone: “Lexi is unavailable to you.”

“But she’s a Sheepdog, and you are a sheep, Simone. So why not?” Mojito asked.

Frank: “Because we said so!”

“Lexi doesn’t know what she’ll be missing. I’m the sultan of Park Avenue -- the Don Juan of dogs,” he answers.

Me: “Stop bragging! What she’s missing is dealing with your tantrums and craziness!”

Mojito: “No! That’s not true! Lexi and any pooch will be so lucky to have me! They can be part of my harem!”

Frank: “Harem, smarem. That’s enough. Let’s go to the park and to Simone’s bash after.”

Me whispering to Frank: “Do you have the CBD treats to calm Mojito?”

Frank: “Of course, of course. I wouldn’t go anywhere without them.”

Me (on my hind legs and whispering in Frank’s ear): “Better give him some now.”

And we went to Central Park, where we saw pooches dressed up in adorable costumes.

Frank fed him several CBD treats, and Mojito mellowed out for the time being.

Back to our apartment, and raring to go!

Ready for the Halloween food menu courtesy of Jorge?

Jorge made orange and chocolate cake topped with orange and black frosting. He decorated it with candy witches on top and candy corns. Jorge also baked a pumpkin pie from scratch with black icing (chocolate with food coloring). Whipped cream is ready to go.

And if that isn’t enough, Jorge made pumpkin cupcakes topped with vanilla icing and candy ghosts! Isn’t Jorge the most?

Chocolate meringue shaped like spiders look spooky.

Ribeye steak with orange squash, pumpkin puree, and carrots will be a hit!

Today we have Dexter as our barista and bartender. So, humans can drink Grand Marnier, orange juice (spiked or virgin) with candy spiders, and hot chocolate with orange whipped cream. Dexter is dressed up as Dracula, and he looks scary, until he smiles.

And of course, there are pumpkin spice lattes, pumpkin cappuccinos, and pumpkin spice cold brews. If they want, humans can add more cinnamon.

Or if the guests prefer, they can have chocolate flavored soda with black candy spiders, orange soda, Coke, or Pepsi.

Yahoo! There’s a great selection of red and white wine, too.

Us pooches will sip orange flavored Perrier.

Sitting in a large bowl are tempting caramel apples. Do you want a bite?

Unfortunately, doggies cannot indulge. I might sneak in licks of the caramel, but don’t tell.

Candy galore is scattered throughout our penthouse: Candy corn, Reese’s peanut butter cups, Skittles, Charleston Chews, Hershey bars, Milky Ways, Mars bars, Kit Kats, orange and chocolate marshmallows, Twizzlers, lollipops, and more!

The sweets are all wrapped, except for a big dish of candy corn.

Candy shaped as eyeballs, fingers, pumpkins, ghosts, and chocolate monsters for hims and hers.

Courtesy of my gifted mom, our apartment is Halloween festive with orange tiger lies, fake ghosts, paper spiders, cotton spider webs strung across our living room, and many real pumpkins.

Orange and white dishes with matching cutlery and cups are on the dining room table.

Scented vanilla, cinnamon, and pumpkin scented and shaped candles in the shape of ghosts and pumpkin spice candles are lit throughout. The aroma is ahh -- enticing.

There are many orange and black pillars, and the glimmering lights look so pretty.

Hanging on our living room mantle is a large skeleton and a big black witch. A huge scarecrow is standing in the living room, too.

A replica of ‘Thing,’ the large hand from The Addams Family is sitting on an end table, and it looks beyond eerie.

Grace went all out, and that’s what it’s all about! Don’t know where she finds all these things, but my creative mommy is born to decorate, and she rates!

A few days ago Frank mentioned that he and mom wanted to dress me as a white sheep.

I thought: ‘It’s not hysterical like last year when I was an octopus, but it might be fun to be a white sheep.’

When I looked in the mirror today, I pondered: ‘Yes, I’m a Park Avenue poodle, but this costume is cute. And I do love white -- It’s the color of my hair.'

I hope everyone else gets that I’m a white sheep. I will tell my doggie pals discreetly about Mojito’s confusion. What else is new?

Grace is dressed as Barbie wearing a pink dress, pink high heels, and she has a pink bow in her ponytailed hair. She is carrying a small pink crossbody purse. She had her golden blonde hair dyed real blonde for Halloween but said it will be easy to wash out.

Naturally, Raymond is dressed as Ken and he has tan slacks on, a pink and white checked shirt, and white sneakers. Raymond also has blonde hair, thanks to a blonde wig!

Barbie and Ken (mom and dad) stroll around arm and arm, and everyone is going crazy for their costumes.

Jorge is dressed as a chef with a big white hat and white apron, over a crisp white shirt, and white pants. He has black dress shoes on. He is holding a big spatula. Hey, that’s not a stretch since he is our chef!

But Jorge said since he’s been so busy with the party cooking and baking, he did not have time to plan another costume. He often wears this get-up when my parents host dinner parties that he cooks for.

Any way you slice it (pun intended), Jorge is dashing and charming.

Charmaine, my Bichon pal, is dressed as a Starbucks coffee cup, and she looks adorable. Sally, her pet mother, is wearing a pretty deep gold dress that is color coordinated with Charmaine’s costume. She has Charmaine on a leash for now. Sally is holding in the other hand an empty Starbucks coffee cup.

The people and pooches are having a really good time, and the food and decorations are terrific.

By the way, Ardsley, our English butler, is not here for the bash. He said he'll celebrate with some English pals that live in NYC. That's fine with me as Ardsley is mostly sarcastic and snippy. Ardsley is very jealous of the attention Jorge gets from my parents and all the ladies. The way I see it: It's not Jorge's fault that he is so good looking and talented.

Trick-or-treaters have come to our door, and Grace has bags of wrapped candy ready in a big orange bowl. I am so happy the kiddos are back. They are dressed in many cute costumes.

Mojito was napping, and he wakes up. Now he is zen, thanks largely to the CBD treats. Frank is still holding him on his lap, but you never know what the nut’s next move will be. Our dog walker is keeping a close watch on Mojito.

Everyone loves Charmaine dressed as a Starbucks coffee cup.

People compliment Mojito, but me, Ricardo, and Charmaine are the hits of the soiree. Hooray!

As you know, Ricardo is going as a cow this year. This year’s poodle costume theme: farm animals.

There’s a Halloween costume contest, and Jorge is the judge.

Ricardo and I win First Prize (It’s a tie) for my white sheep costume and his cow costume. We each get a gold doggie bone trophy, but darn, it’s not edible. Darn.

Charmaine gets Honorable Mention as the Starbucks coffee cup and receives a silver trophy in the shape of a bone, and she is happy.

Everyone is clapping and cheering, and Mojito wakes up. He is jealous, and starts yapping: ‘"How come I didn’t win? I’ve got the cutest costume! I’m a hotdog! It’s just not fair! Simone wins everything! Everything! Every year! Every year! It’s nptsm since her mom and dad are giving the party. And now her boyfriend, Ricardo, wins First Place, too!"

Me: "It’s called and spelled N-E-P-O-T-I-SM, but we won because I’m the prettiest, and my costume and Ricardo’s are the most original."

Mojito persists: ‘"Give another dog a chance. It’s not right, just not right!"

“Maybe if you were something other than a hotdog you might win, Mojito!” I tell him.

The Chihuahua: “Shut up, Simone. Raymond and Grace give the party, so you’ll win every year.”

Me: “What do you know? I’d win whatever party I would go to. I’m the best. Get over it!”

Mojito: “I’m the best . . . I’m the best - you stuck up poodle! No, Simone, I’m the best!”

Frank: ‘"Stop your ranting and complaining, Mojito. That’s all you ever do! Simone and Ricardo deserve to win. Accept it."

Mojito tells Frank he wants to make a move on Charmaine and says: "Now I’ll congratulate Charmaine now and shake her paw, or even kiss it!"

Frank puts an end to that: "Oh, no you won’t! You’re staying here .... right here with me, young man!"

What did I tell you? There’s always an uproar when Mojito is around.

Thank goodness CBD dog treats were invented. Anything to calm the lunatic Mojito down. Frank is so smart to bring them. He also mists Mojito lightly with a lavender and sage calming dog spray.

By the way, Lexi, my Sheepdog BFF, has arrived with her pet mom. She looks so cute with her crown fur in a ponytail and a pink bow, so you can see her eyes! She wants to be able to spot Mojito at all times. Lexi’s smart mom keeps her away from Mojito, and Frank does the same. Less time for Mojito to go ‘Lexi Crazy!’

I tell Frank: “Look, Lexi is here. Quick, distract Mojito!”

But Mojito spots her: “Wow! Look at Lexi! I can see her beautiful eyes, and I love her high ponytail!”

Me: “Stay away from my BFF, Mojito.”

Mojito: “Make me, Simone. I’ll do what I want. So there!”

I put my paw down (figuratively): “No you won’t!”

Frank: “Simone is right. No, you will not, Mojito! You need to respect our wishes concerning Lexi, and leave Lexi alone.”

Mojito growls and spins in a circle several times. Frank quickly picks him up and scolds him.

Then Frank feeds Mojito more CBD treats, and thank goodness, he falls asleep again on Frank’s lap.

Lexi problem averted for now. And you thought only people had romantic issues? This is like a doggie soap opera, starring me and Ricardo, my pet parents, Frank, and Jorge. The nemesis: Mojito.

I’ll think good thoughts, since I’m keen for Halloween.

So, here is my Halloween tome by Simone:

'Magical princesses, superheroes, and decorated pumpkins . . .

A mermaid that looks like the sea is blue as can be. Last year the beautiful mermaid was the pet mommy of me!

My, oh, my lovely butterflies!

What spooks me the most are goblins, zombies, and ghosts.

Not to mention monsters, witches, spiders, and vampires . . .

Werewolves, bats, and black cats . . .

Scarecrows, night owls, and Chihuahuas that howl . . .

A haunted house, a full moon, and a sinister goon . . .

A skeleton that spins around and creepy sounds . . .

Frankenstein and creatures that are hairy are scary.

Picture a culinary Dracula that carries a baking spatula and wears a white apron, and a chef’s hat. How about that? He makes delicious delights and then takes a big bite!

And I'm spilling that this holiday is bone-chilling!

Why, it’s Halloween -- a night of nights and full of fright! It’s out of sight!

Orange and black and colors galore, and there’s so much more.

Mickey Mouse and his lovely spouse, Minnie Mouse . . .

A ladybug and her devoted love, mister bug . . .

Kermit the Frog and Miss Piggy, his other half, get a laugh.

The exuberant Big Bird, dressed in yellow, is far from mellow, but he's a very nice fellow.

A canine dressed in a cape and another four-legged friend who is costumed as an ape . . .

Colorful creatures of the deep and Little Bo Peep . . .

A jazz dancer, wearing a hat, who performs jazz hands a la Fosse and a CEO and his posse ...

It’s spooky, and some get-ups are kooky.

Boo! Boo! It’s scary . . . It’s fun . . . Time to romp and run!

Let’s do the Monster Mash, and dash over to the food cause’ I’m in the mood!

Give me a steak bone in a tote, and I’ll gloat. It can be sirloin or ribeye. Give it a try.

How about a Jack-o-lantern filled with wrapped candy corn?

The more, the merrier, and quench my thirst with tangy Pumpkin Spice Perrier.

Can I please have the good stuff? Bacon, peanut butter, and carob snacks are not enough.

I want kids’ treats to eat.

If you throw in Charleston Chews, I’ll enthuse: ‘Yahoo!.’

If you feed me a Milky Way, I’ll even stay.

Toss in M & M’s, Kit Kats, Twizzlers, and Mars bars. Kids' candy faves are the Halloween rage.

Halloween Peeps make me jump and leap!

Offer me some Hershey kisses, dark chocolate bars, and taffy, and I’ll be happy.

I’m a dog, it’s true, but today I want to be just like you.

When I bark: ‘Trick-or-Treat!’ it means I want something sweet to eat!

Can I please have candy bars or a frosted cupcake? It won't be a mistake.

Or how about making pooch-friendly candy? That would be dandy.

Later it will be time to watch scary horror flicks. Take your pick.

Halloween is here, and it’s a very special day of the year.

All we want is something yummy and new. We dressed up to impress other dogs and you.

Happy Halloween to all canines, other pets, children, and their parents, and humans of all ages who will celebrate.

It’s the great holiday we pretend we’re someone else.

Hear, hear for Halloween this year! HAPPY HOWLIDAY!’"

Written by: Simone, THE Park Avenue poodle, who is thrilled with Halloween, with help from Karen-Cherie Cogane