HAPPY HALLOWEEN FROM THE POODLES OF PARK AVENUE BY KAREN-CHERIE COGANE!

Fast Forward to 10/31 with the Park Avenue poodle: "Hi! I’m Princess Simone, at our ‘Doggie Howl-O-Ween Soiree,’ celebrating this great day. Yay!

My parents, Raymond and Grace, are giving a small bash for a few of our human pals and furry friends from our building.

My doggie bud, Charmaine, the Bichon, along with my black poodle beau, Ricardo, are here. Lexi, my BFF, the English Sheepdog might come later with her mom. Charmaine’s pet mommy, Sally is here, too. She and Grace are good friends.

Frank, my dog walker, is also at the party, supervising Mojito, my nutty Chihuahua walking partner.

Lexi is not here right now since Mojito is so obsessed with her, and he makes a scene when she is around.

Apparently, the Chihuahua wanted to change his costume, and Frank agreed. Mojito said that since he loves to eat cold hot dogs, he’d like to be one for Halloween.

I’ll admit that the Chihuahua looks cute. Frank told me he brought the CBD biscuits to calm the loony Mojito down. No tantrums allowed, not that it’s stopped him before. To start the relaxing effect, Frank flavored Mojito’s water with lavender.

Jorge, Ricardo’s human and our live-in chef, made many canine and people treats that look yummy to eat.

Orange and chocolate cake with orange and black icing, decorated with candy witches on top, pumpkin pie with black frosting, and candy ghost topped cupcakes, look great.

Chocolate meringue shaped liked spiders look spooky.

There’s ribeye steak with orange squash and carrots, that will be a hit.

And you all: Jorge made them all!

The people can drink Grand Marnier, orange juice with candy spiders, and hot chocolate with orange whipped cream.

And there are lots of pumpkin spice lattes and pumpkin spice cold brews.

Or if they prefer, they can have chocolate flavored soda, orange soda, Coke, or Pepsi. Bien sur, there’s wine, too. Yahoo!

Pooches will sip orange flavored Perrier.

A big bowl of caramel apples will tempt everyone, except doggies cannot indulge.

There’s candy galore: M & M’s, candy corn, marshmallows, Hershey bars, Three Musketeers, Reese’s peanut butter things, Milky Ways, licorice, and more goodies!

Most of the sweets are wrapped. There’s even candy shaped as eyeballs, fingers, pumpkins, ghosts, and monsters for hims and hers.

Mom made our apartment Halloween very festive with orange tiger lilies, fake ghosts, paper spiders, cotton spider webs strung across the living room, real pumpkins, fake pumpkins. orange and black dishes, matching cutlery, and cups.

Scented vanilla candles in the shape of ghosts and pumpkin spice candles in the shape of pumpkins are lit. The glimmering lights look so pretty.

There is a big scarecrow standing in the living room and a large skeleton hanging on our living room mantle.

A replica of 'Thing,' the big hand from The Addams Family is sitting on an end table, and it looks, well, eerie.

Grace went all out, and that’s what it’s all about! I don’t know where she finds all these things, but mommy rates! She’s born to decorate.

Rewind to a few days ago: Frank told me this year he and mommy agreed to dress me as a Furry Princess.

When I looked in the mirror at my costume today, I thought: 'It’s cute and befitting me, a Park Avenue poodle. Last year I was Cousin Itt, so this year I’m glad to be glamorous.'

Grace is dressed as Sandy from 'Grease' and Raymond is clad as Danny. Mom is wearing a pink poodle skirt – How about that? They even pay homage to me on Halloween!

My mother is also wearing a pink tee shirt and has her golden blonde hair up in a high ponytail with a pink bow. She has saddle shoes on with anklets. Daddy is wearing a black tee shirt, black pants, black shoes, and a black leather jacket. His dark hair is slicked back to look ‘50’s style.

You know what? My parents really do look like Danny and Sandy from 'Grease!' They said they’ll play the soundtrack from 'Grease' later and dance to it, and I’ll get on my hind legs and groove along with them.

Jorge is dressed as a matador, with a red cape, and black pants, and shoes. The dapper Jorge looks ready to take on any bull in the ring.

Ardsley, our English butler, is not at the party. Said he would celebrate with some of his pals from the UK that live in NYC.

If only Ardsley could see Jorge, he would make fun of his costume, and would likely say: ‘Hey, Jorge, do you want to become a real matador and move to Spain? (Nice try, Ardsley, but it’s not going to happen). Or do you want to take over my butler’s job and see what actual work is? (Ardsley could not handle everything Jorge does).’

Ardsley would continue: ‘Jorge, all you do is bake and cook a few things (more like a zillion things), stand there with your poodle (Ricardo), and flirt with the ladies (Actually, the women flirt endlessly with him). Jorge, you come from Harlem, just have a fancy dog, and now you both live in a Park Avenue penthouse. You have a caniche and hob-knob with the riche! Lucky you! Okay, I’ll give you that you know how to cook and are good looking, but I trained formally at the Thames Butler Academy, and waited on royalty. Now I live in a small apartment in Chelsea, serve people, and work like a dog. Yes, the Margerys are very nice, but it’s not fair! You live the good life! What's next? A gorgeous wife?’

It’s jealousy with a capital J, regarding how Ardsley feels about Jorge.

Mojito’s hot dog costume covers the length of his little body.

Halloween outfit or not, I wonder what trouble the Chihuahua will cause today. Complain, complain, complain, that’s all he does. And for such a little dog, he causes big commotions.

‘So, who are you this year, Simone?’ Mojito asks.

‘Who do you think I am?’ I answer.

Mojito stares at me, and says, ‘I don’t know.’

‘I’m a Park Avenue furry princess,’ I tell him.

He replies: ‘That’s nothing new. You’re always a princess.’

‘No, I’m not. Last year I was Cousin Itt,’ I corrected Mojito.

‘Whatever. You look pretty, Princess Simone,’ he said.

‘But do you like MY COSTUME? Don’t you think I look HANDSOME?’ Mojito questions.

‘I guess so,’ I say.

Mojito: ‘What? That’s it?’

‘Well, you look like a hotdog,’ I tell him.

‘That’s what I am. But I really wanted to be a sultan with many girl doggies surrounding me, but Frank said no,’ Mojito said.

‘I wonder why,’ I scoffed.

‘Don’t get it, but either way, girl dogs will dance for me and pick me like I’m the best hotdog with mustard on top. I’m irresistible sultan Mojito, and my harem will come to my apartment and wait on me!’ Mojito brags.

Frank: ‘Have you been sipping Mojito’s, Mojito? You’re wacky!’

Ricardo whispers to me: ‘Boy, did he get that right.’

‘Where will you meet this harem, Mojito, that you’ve been boasting about for, like, forever? Where and when will you meet even one girl dog? This isn’t the Roman Empire with sultry women dancing around and feeding the emperor grapes!’ I tell him.

Mojito answers: ‘Sounds good to me, but canines aren’t supposed to have grapes,’ he says.

‘Just grow up, you conceited Chihuahua. You’re not the only dog in the world! And you’re totally delusional!’ I snap.

‘No, I’m not! You’ll see. I have my ways. I’m the best dog -- the most eligible catch of Park Avenue! I rule the world! I’ll snap my fingers, and they’ll come running!’

‘The nuttiest pooch on Park Avenue! Your ego is so inflated, it’s like a balloon that is going to burst! And, hey, you don’t have fingers,’ I tell Mojito.

‘Okay, my paws,’ he says.

Frank: ‘Stop being narcissistic, Mojito! And get real.’

‘Narstic? What’s that?’ He asks.

‘It’s N-A-R-C-I-S-S-I-S-T-I-C,’ Frank states.

‘Still don’t get it,’ the Chihuahua answers.

‘Of course you don’t. Means you think you’re the greatest there is,’ I say.

Mojito: ‘Yup, I am!’

‘I repeat: Grow up!’ I tell him.

Mojito rolls his eyes and turns in fast circles: ‘You don’t understand me. Si! Don’t understand me!’

That dog is making me dizzy.

With his chin up in the air, Mojito stands on his hind legs and howls, and I exclaim: ‘Hey, Mojito, this is your holiday, Howl-O-Ween! You fit right in. All you do is howl, like a wolf! Maybe you’ll find a tiny girl who makes wolf sounds like you, and you’ll be the Howling Duo!’

‘Ha! Ha! Size doesn’t matter. Big or small, I want them all! And I have very melodic barks,’ the Chihuahua responds.

Frank, Ricardo, and me burst out laughing at Mojito’s ridiculous comments.

‘Yeah, if you’re tone deaf, I state.

Mojito enthuses: ‘I’m the talented Chihuahua with a musical bow-wow! I'll perform on stage and on TV, and in movies. You'll see! I’ll be on 'America’s Got Talent' and I will win!’

‘Can you stop talking nonsense for maybe a second?' I question. 'You're giving me a headache.'

To spite me, Mojito runs away from Frank and dashes over to a big bowl of Halloween brownies. He stands on his hind legs and snatches one. It’s got orange icing and white sprinkles on it, which are now all over Mojito’s face: ‘Yum! This is delicious!’

While wiping off Chihuahua’s visage, Frank chases him and scolds: “Mojito, cut it out! These brownies are for humans. Dogs aren’t supposed to eat them!’

‘Who cares? I’ll eat what I want! So there! I’m the king! Try and stop me! Trick- or-treat? I can’t be beat!’ the Chihuahua yells and tries to take another brownie.

Before Mojito succeeds, Frank swoops him up: ‘You’re obnoxious, and you better behave, or I’m taking you home! Understand?’

Me: ‘You’re too much, Mojito . . . too much. You and your girls. That’s all you talk about, yet there are ZERO!’

Mojito: ‘Don’t be jealous just because I want a harem, Simone.’

I laugh: ‘Jealous? Me? Of your silly ideas?’

Mojito: ‘Yes! Yes! Yes! Admit it, Simone. You’re very jealous. Don't hide it.’

My response: ‘First of all, there’s no you and a group of females. Get that crazy idea out of your mixed-up head! And I am not jealous. I love Ricardo.’

‘Ricardo . . . Ricardo . . . Ricardo . . . But you really want me, Simone, don’t you?’ the Chihuahua remarks.

I get angry: ‘Just stop it, Mojito! I’m losing my patience. You’re the one who is trying to get me jealous. That’s why you keep talking about all the other girl dogs that you want. You’re trying to get me miffed. And it’s not working.’

Mojito: ‘Then why are you so upset, Simone? I’m getting to you, aren’t I?”

Me: ‘I’m just fed up, that’s all.’

‘It’s because you desire me, like on the soap opera TV shows, like ‘The Pretty and the Passionate’ the Chihuahua tells me.

My reply: ‘R-I-G-H-T. As if!’

Frank: ‘Come one, you two. It’s Halloween. Can’t we have fun?’

‘Ask HIM! He’s always creating trouble. It follows him wherever he goes!’ I insist.

Mojito mimics me and then boasts: ‘I can’t help it if I’m irresistible. I’m like Jorge, but on four legs. The girls can’t stay away from me, and you have the hots for me, too, Simone!’

I get huffy and walk away, and then strut over to him: ‘I’m not going to let you rile me up! Be that way. Good luck with that. I’m going to enjoy the Halloween shindig that my parents are giving. And if you keep acting up, Frank will bring you home or put you in another room and close the door, right, Frank?’ I insist.

Frank, dressed as Dracula again, looks scary with his fake fangs and fake blood on the corner of his mouth. He’s wearing all black, including a black cape, and has his brown hair dyed black, and slicked back. The front of his hair has a widow’s peak. Eek!

Frank says in a dramatic voice: ‘Simone is right. Yes, I will move you to another room, pronto or bring you home, asap, if you continue to be belligerent, Mojito.’

The Chihuahua answers: ‘You’re scaring me. You’re a vampire, Frank, so are you going to bite me? Are you? I thought you were a real man.’

Frank: ‘What? Oh . . . I should do that as Dracula. That might be a good idea, but no. This is just my costume.’

Staring at Mojito, Frank continues: ‘But you must calm down, or I’ll take off your hotdog costume.’

Mojito: ‘No, please don’t do that. I like being a hotdog. Sorry. Now can I have another treat? I’ll behave.’

Me whispering to Frank: ‘Do you have any CBD treats to calm him?’

Frank nods and says to me softly: ‘Yes’ and feeds Mojito three CBD treats. Frank plants him on his lap on a living room chair, and thankfully, the Chihuahua falls asleep.

Charmaine, the Bichon, looks adorable, dressed as a Starbucks coffee cup. Sally, her pet mother is wearing a stylish dress, and has Charmaine on a leash for now. And any guesses, what Sally is holding in the other hand? An empty Starbucks coffee cup.

The rest of the party is going very well. People are vaccinated but for the most part, social distance and wear masks when they’re not eating. The humans and pooches are having a really good time, and the food is great.

Trick-or-treaters have come to our door, and mom has bags of wrapped candy ready in a big orange bowl. I am so happy the kiddos are back. They are dressed in many adorable costumes.

Mojito wakes up, and for now, is zen, thanks largely to the CBD treats. Frank is still holding him on his lap, but you never know what the nut’s next move will be. Our dog walker is keeping close watch on the Chihuahua.

By the way, everyone loves Charmaine dressed as a Starbucks coffee cup. People compliment Mojito, but me and Charmaine are the hits of the soiree. Hooray!

Ricardo is going as himself for Halloween since he doesn’t really like costumes. Maybe I can convince him to dress up next year.

There’s a Halloween costume contest, and Jorge is the judge. I win First Prize for my princess costume. I get a gold doggie bone trophy, but it’s not edible. Darn.

Charmaine gets Honorable Mention as the Starbucks coffee cup and receives a silver bone trophy, and she is happy.

Mojito gets jealous and starts yapping: ‘How come I didn’t win? Huh? I’ve got the cutest costume! I’m a hotdog! It’s just not fair! Simone wins everything! Everything! Every year! It’s nptsm since her mommy and daddy are giving the party.’

Me: ‘It’s N-E-P-O-T-I-SM. And I won because I’m the cutest.’

Mojito persists: ‘It’s still not right.’

Frank: ‘Stop complaining, Mojito. That’s all you do!’

Then Mojito plans to make a move on Charmaine and says: ‘I’ll congratulate Charmaine now and shake her paw!’

Frank puts an end to that: ‘Oh, no you won’t! You’re staying right here . . . right here with me!’

What did I tell you? There’s always an uproar when Mojito is around. Thank goodness CBD dog treats were invented. Anything to calm the lunatic down. Frank is so smart to bring them.

So far Lexi, my Sheepdog BFF, has not arrived with her pet mom. Frank told me the plan is to have them come soon, since the Costume Contest is finished. Less time for Mojito to go ‘Lexi Crazy!’

But I’ll think good thoughts, since I’m keen for Halloween.

HERE'S THE HALLOWEEN TOME BY ME, SIMONE:

'Magical princesses, superheroes and decorated pumpkins . . .

A mermaid that looks like the sea is blue as can be.

Lovely butterflies, oh, my!

What spooks me the most are zombies, goblins, and ghosts.

Not to mention witches, monsters, spiders, and vampires . . .

Werewolves, bats, and black cats . . .

Scarecrows, owls, and Chihuahuas that howl . . .

A haunted house, a full moon, and a sinister goon . . .

Creepy sounds and a skeleton that goes around . . .

Frankenstein and creatures that are hairy are scary.

Imagine a culinary Dracula that carries a baking spatula and wears a white apron, and a chef’s hat. How about that? He makes delicious delights and then takes a bite!

It’s Halloween -- a night of nights and full of fright! It’s out of sight!

Orange and black, and colors galore, and there’s much more.

Mickey Mouse & his spouse, Minnie Mouse ...

A ladybug and her love, mister bug . . .

Kermit the Frog and Miss Piggy, his other half, garner a laugh.

Exuberant Big Bird is dressed in yellow and is far from mellow.

A four-legged friend who is costumed as an ape and a canine dressed in a cape . . .

Little Bo-Peep and colorful creatures of the deep . . .

A CEO and his posse, and a jazz dancer who performs Fosse ...

It’s spooky, and some get-ups are kooky.

Boo! Boo! It’s scary . . . It’s fun . . . Time to scamper and run!

Let’s do the Monster Mash, and dash over to the food cause’ I’m in the mood!

Give me a steak bone in a tote, and I’ll gloat.

How about a Jack-o-lantern filled with wrapped candy corn?

The more, the merrier, and quench my thirst with Pumpkin Spice Perrier.

Can I please have the good stuff? Bacon, carob, and peanut butter snacks aren’t enough.

I want children’s treats to eat.

If you throw in Charleston Chews, I’ll say: ‘Yahoo!’

I’ll even stay if you feed me a Milky Way.

Toss in M & M’s, Kit Kats, Nestle's Crunch, and Mars bars.

Halloween Peeps will make me leap!

Offer me some Hershey kisses, bars, and taffy, and I’ll be happy. I’m a dog, it’s true, but today I want to be just like you.

When I bark: ‘Trick-or-Treat!’ I want something sweet to eat!

Can I please have candy bars or a frosted cupcake? It won't be a mistake.

Or how about making doggie-friendly candy? That would be dandy.

Halloween is here, and it’s a special day of the year.

All we want is something yummy and new. We dressed up to impress other dogs and you.

Happy Halloween to all pooches, other pets, kids, and their parents, and everyone else!

It’s the great holiday we pretend we’re someone else.

Celebrate Halloween this year. Hear, hear!’

P.S. My Bichon pal, Charmaine, is wearing a costume of a Starbucks coffee cup. It looks rather similar to the canine shot of an English springer spaniel, dressed as a Puppy Latte cup.

The pic of a doggie decked out as a Harlequin was shown to Mojito by Frank. The Chihuahua went crazy for her, and bien sur, wants her for his harem!"

Written by: Simone, THE Park Avenue poodle, who loves to dress up, helped by Karen-Cherie Cogane