HAPPY HALLOWEEN FROM THE POODLES OF PARK AVENUE!

"The Poodles of Park Avenue" by Karen-Cherie Cogane, wish everyone a very Happy Halloween on Tuesday, October 31, 2017!

Fast Forward to Halloween: Simone, the sophisticated poodle star of the book, is raring to go!

“Happy Halloween! It’s Simone, and I’m at Central Park for the doggie Halloween Party! Frank, my dog walker, and Ricardo, my poodle boyfriend, are here, as well as Mojito, my Chihuahua walking partner.

My mom, Grace, couldn't make it, but promises to come next year. And, daddy, Raymond, is busy working at the bank.

My costume? Well, it’s not really a costume . . . Drum rolls, please! I’m a fuchsia poodle!

I’ll rewind to three days ago: First Grace, suggested that I go against type: a glamorous poodle. For a laugh, she wanted to dress me as a scary creature.

When I heard that I barked disapproval, and Frank translated: 'Mom, what did you just say? You want to dress me up, like a goblin? As if! I'm proud to be a Park Avenue poodle, and I want to be something feminine and beautiful!’

Enter Lilly, my hair stylist at Ma Belle Chien salon, who Frank called to get her input on my Halloween get-up. She said she could dye my hair fuchsia instead, with a very safe doggie vegetable dye.

Mom okayed it, but my reaction was: ‘Mon Dieu! I said I want to look pretty, and I thought I'd be a graceful ballerina. That would be perfect since I pirouette to Tchaikovsky. Or, I could wear an elegant gown designed by Jacques Seine, befitting a doggie fashionista like myself.’

Frank took me over to the salon anyway, and I hemmed and hawed at the mere thought of a mistake. What if I remain a fuchsia poodle, or my hair becomes a weirder color? Je suis Simone, a white Standard Poodle, and I want to stay that way!

Lilly reassured me that it’s a temporary dye that will wash out easily, like it did last year (when I was a multi-colored poodle). So, I threw caution to the wind, and figured it might be fun to be dyed such a bright color. And, it’s better than being a goblin.

Even so, Lilly relaxed me with a lavender and gardenia facial, a soothing massage, and paw rubs.

It took six hours to transform me! Before I was colored fuchsia, I had my body and thigh hair cut very short. And, I feel, like, kind of naked . . . yeah, kind of naked.

Finally, when Lilly finished, I looked in the mirror, and barked: ‘Wow! Didn’t know I could look SO FUCHSIA! Unusual, but tres (very) striking and artistic.’

To top it off, Frank put a jingling bell collar on me that Grace bought. I know I’ll stand out. Not that it’s ever been a problem for moi. It’s a good thing I’m not a shy dog, though.

‘Simone, look at you! You’re tres belle! I’ve never seen such a bright dog! How imaginative!’ Frank and the pooches at the salon complimented.

I sang out: ‘I’m a fuchsia poodle . . . a fuchsia poodle! La-La-La . . . La-La-La!’ Say that three times fast! Everyone laughed and tried to pet me, but Lilly said to wait until my hair color was completely dry.

Although he didn’t really recognize me at first, Ricardo likes my Halloween look. Speaking of my beau, he vetoed getting his black hair dyed white, like last year, nor did he want a costume. So, Lilly added many hair extensions, to give him a fluffy and puffy style. It took four hours to get his new hairdo; Ricardo might consider growing his hair and keeping this fuller look.

Mojito came to the salon also, to have his fur dyed deep purple, but he had a panic attack! The Chihuahua was gung-ho at first, but then he, like, got so nervous at the idea of altering his beige fur color. (Why, I ask?)

Freaking out, Mojito yapped: ‘Change my fur color to deep purple? I don’t care if it's Halloween! No! No! It's not enough that I'm a tiny dog -- Now I'll be a freaky looking Chihuahua with a crazy dye that won't wash out! (Clearly, he didn't believe Lilly that it's a temporary color.) Put me in any costume, but don't change my color! What girl dog would like a purple Chihuahua? I’ll look like a girl! No! No! No!’

My thoughts: ‘What’s the difference? What female will like you, period? I know you think you’re the king of Park Avenue, a Don Juan, and you have, like, 12 potential doggie wives in mind! But, so far, you have no girlfriends!’

Maybe if Mojito stopped acting up, he could find love. He should get the award for 'Dog that yaps the most and the loudest!'

Leave it to Lilly -- She came up with a solution to calm the hyper Mojito and played New Age music by Enya. Then her assistant, Patty, gave him a pampering hour, consisting of a massage and paw rubs. He’s one lucky Chihuahua, not that he’d ever admit it.

This was followed by green juice (made of kale and seaweed) for him to drink, and he complained: ‘Eew! Eew! What’s this icky green stuff?’ After much coaxing from Patty, he swallowed it, rolled his eyes, and grimaced. Typical Mojito.

Finally, the Chihuahua appeared relaxed, but Lilly and Patty mentioned that they never dealt with such a temperamental dog. Welcome to my world!

So, Frank nixed dying his hair. Instead, he decided to get Mojito a costume, and he is dressed as a taco. His garb coordinates with his beige fur, and he, uh, looks cute.

Back to the Halloween Party: Mojito seems to like being a taco, but he should have gone with a purple hair dye. Be more adventurous and stand out! But, the unstable Chihuahua would probably have another tantrum.

‘Simone, do you think the female dogs will like me in this taco costume? Do you?’ Mojito asked.

Me: ‘Well . . . maybe . . . um . . . I guess so . . .’

The Chihuahua stuck his arrogant chin up and remarked: ‘What? Just maybe? I guess so? I look adorable! I’ll entice the girls, and I bet a whole group flock to me!’

After I put my fuchsia paw over my mouth to stop from laughing, I retorted: ‘Oh, you mean a flock of geese will surround you.’

‘What did you just say? Something about a flock of geese?’ Mojito scoffed.

My answer: ‘Nothing . . . Okay, yes, I think the females will like you.’

I mean, what else was I supposed to say? That wacky dog has delusions of grandeur. More like it, when the girl canines see taco Mojito, they’ll get hungry, and run away to eat something.

‘Maybe I’ll find more wives, wearing this cute costume. They’ll be waiting in line to apply!’ he boasted.

‘Really? I think your list is full, Mojito . . . way too full,’ I added.

The Chihuahua chimed in: ‘Why do you say that? You can never have enough options. I can be like the Bachelor on TV -- Only I’ll give a rose, I mean a doggie treat in the shape of a rose, to my female canine choices. And, I’ll pick extra bachelorettes – many extras, so I’m never without girls. I’ll have a harem!’

‘How about finding one dog girlfriend? Huh? How about that?’ I inquired.

True to form, Mojito bragged: ‘That will never be a problem for me. Never! I’m the sultan of Park Avenue!’

I thought: ‘You mean, you’re the nutcase of Park Avenue!’

‘Well . . . Where are they? Then, where are your love interests?’ I asked softly, so I wouldn’t set him off.

It didn’t work since Mojito stared at me, growled, and snapped: ‘I heard that, Simone! I heard that! And, they’re coming soon . . . very soon . . . You’ll see! Yes! Yes! So there!‘

I took a deep breath and tried to keep my poodle cool, but Mojito really got on my nerves: ‘Keep dreaming, like, keep dreaming, Mojito! Meanwhile, you don’t even have one girl interested in you -- not even a date! Your list is not real; It’s all in your distorted mind. Dressed as a taco or in your birthday suit, who’s going to put up with you? Who? Unless it’s some dog as crazy as you!’

Frank told me not to let Mojito upset me and just ignore his ridiculous remarks, which is easier said than done.

I knew Ricardo was on my page, and I whispered in his ear: ‘I’ve had it with him. He’s just too much,’ and Ricardo nodded.

Then Mojito gave me a dirty look, and got on his hind legs, and howled.

‘What are you doing? Mojito, what are you doing?’ Frank hollered.

Mojito yelled: ‘I’m like a wolf cause’ it’s Howloween! Hear me howl!’

'Just stop it, Mojito! You’re making too much noise,’ Frank told him.

‘Why?’ he asked and continued to howl at the top of his lungs.

Frank insisted: ‘Because I said so! You’re giving me a bad headache.’

I wanted to disregard Mojito, but he pushed my buttons, and I told him off: ‘I second that! Put a lid on it!’

Mojito mimicked me, so I blurted out: ‘As if you’re yaps aren’t enough, now you howl! All you need is Little Red Riding Hood! OMG!’

The Chihuahua had yet another melt-down: He spun around in circles, yapped, and dropped to the floor on his front, kicking his little legs. Promptly, Frank swooped him up, and scolded him. See, what did I tell you?

Now, to the fun stuff. At the party many other pooches are in very creative costumes.

?The cast of characters are: a Jack Russell terrier, Ollie, dressed as Spiderman; a Dachshund in a hot dog costume (not much of a stretch, no pun intended); a bulldog wearing a bright red cap and a red and black shirt; a doggie decked out as Beetlejuice; an apricot miniature poodle in a strawberry get-up; a white mini poodle wearing a 1950’s poodle skirt; a Chihuahua dressed in a pink poodle costume; Tilly, a cocker spaniel, as a butterfly; and a retriever as a UPS man!

Oh, and Frank showed us a pic of a trio of costumed dogs, ‘Trick or Treating’ at a house, that his dog walker pal sent him. I bet the canines are thinking: 'Trick or Treat! Are you there? We're waiting, and we can't ring the doorbell!'

And, remember my friend Lexi, the Old English Sheepdog, who lives in my building? Well . . . She is here, as a Hairy Princess (quite different than your typical fairy princess). Lexi looks so pretty in her light green organza dress and a light green crown on her head. I wonder who created her outfit. Could it be Jacques Seine? Don’t know if he designs for Sheepdogs, too.

Surprise! Surprise! You can finally see Lexi’s eyes! She has bangs now, courtesy of a haircut at Ma Belle Chien. Don’t know how Lexi could see before, which is why she used to bump into things. She’s still furry, but much happier.

Lexi’s standing with Ricardo and me, and, um, Mojito. In case you don’t recall, Mojito has a crush on Lexi and wants her for one of his potential wives. He’s staring at her, as if he is going to make a move. But, I’ve warned Mojito to leave Lexi alone, and I hope he listens. Keeping my paws crossed.

There is a lot of barking going on, but they’re mostly happy barks. FYI, Mojito has quieted down for the time being. Guess he got tired from howling and yapping, and Frank is watching his every move.

So much excitement is in the air, and now I’m glad that I’m the only dog with dyed hair.

I did hear some of the other dogs, except Ricardo; Mojito; Lexi; Tilly, the girl cocker spaniel; and Ollie, the male Jack Russell terrier, whispering about me: ‘Who’s that poodle? Why is her hair dyed pink, or is it purple? Really? She looks like cotton candy! Where did she get that done? Wait! Is that SIMONE from Park Avenue? Figures SHE would have to be different! Why couldn't SHE just wear a costume like us?’ You get the picture.

I was going to respond, but why should I get down to their level? So, I held my tongue and said to myself: ‘I can hear you talking, and obviously, you’re just jealous. Yup, that’s right.’

It’s nothing unusual, since dogs always gossip about me. It goes with being a poodle.

Us canines are with our dog walkers, who are dressed normally. I guess they want their four-legged charges to be front and center. As if I could ever not be noticed!

In honor of Halloween, I’ve written a special ode, so here goes:

'Ghosts and goblins . . . Princesses and pumpkins . . . Spiders and zombies . . . Witches and vampires . . .

Superheroes, scarecrows, and owls . . . Werewolves, black cats, and bats . . . Can you imagine that?

Ballerinas and butterflies, and monsters, oh, my!

Lion-faced dogs and pooches dressed as green frogs . . .

Mickey Mouse and his spouse (Minnie) . . .

A doggie ladybug with a happy mug . . .

Haunted houses, a full moon, and a goon . . .

It’s a night of nights, full of fright! It’s Halloween!

Orange and black . . . And, colors galore! Need I say more? (But I will.)

Halloween is spooky, and some costumes can be kooky. Dogs dressed like a skeleton . . . a sheep . . . and, even Little Bo Peep! (but not together.)

Boo! Boo! It’s scary . . . It’s fun . . . Time to jump and run! Time to prance and dance!

Let’s do the Monster Mash, and then we can dash! Over to the food cause’ I’m really in the mood!

For lots of snacks to eat, but where are the people sweets?

I’m all for bacon things, peanut butter chews, and carob bars, but now I want kids’ candy. I want candy!

A grateful poodle am I, but regular treats are not enough. So, can’t I please have the yummy human stuff?

Give me some M & M’s, Kit Kats (the candy, not the furry animal with whiskers), and Charleston Chews, and I’ll exclaim: ‘Yahoo!’

Throw in some Good & Plenty, 3 Musketeer bars, and taffy, and I’ll be happy.

Feed me a Milky Way, and I’ll even respond to: ‘S-T-A-Y.’

I’m a dog, it’s true, but today, I want to be just like you.

When I bark: ‘Trick or Treat!’ toss in something great to eat! A juicy steak bone is always nice, and will entice, but it doesn’t fit in those Halloween paper bags.

You can give me a roomy jack o’ lantern, and put in apples, and candy corn! The more the merrier, and you can even offer me flavored Perrier.

I’m a poodle with a sweet tooth, so, can’t I please have a pumpkin spice cupcake? It won't be a mistake. Or, how about making some delicious dog-friendly candy? That would be dandy!

Halloween is here, and it’s a special day of the year.

Us dogs got all dressed up for you (and to impress other canines, which is easy for moi). Won’t you give us something new?

Let’s celebrate the holiday we pretend we’re someone else.

Fill up our goodie totes, and we’ll be ready to gloat!

It’s time for pooches to stand up on our hind legs in joy, whether we’re a girl or a boy!

Heureux (Happy) Halloween to all dogs, cats, other pets, kids, and their parents!'

P.S. Frank showed us the first image of two dramatic owls, and it sure sets the lively Halloween tone.

Ollie, the Jack Russell terrier, is Spiderman, ready to save the day, in the second shot.

Third photo: a girl Dachshund dressed as a hot dog with a bun and mustard, but no relish. Maybe she should get together with Mojito. Just kidding! But if they did, their puppies could be Chi-shunds or Dach-uahuas! What a combo!

A determined looking bulldog wearing a bright red cap and a red and black shirt, is the fourth shot. Wonder what's on his mind.

The fifth pic is a male pooch dressed as Beetlejuice.

An apricot female miniature poodle in a strawberry costume, is the sixth photo. Note to Self: Keep Mojito away from her, or she’ll be added to his long list of potential wives!

A white girl miniature poodle wearing a 1950’s style poodle skirt, is the seventh pic. Where’s the sock hop and the milkshake?

Eighth shot: a girl Chihuahua dressed in a light pink poodle costume. Better hope Mojito doesn’t spot her, either. Wait . . . Maybe she could be Mojito’s girlfriend. Nah . . . She looks too normal for him.

Tilly, the girl Cocker Spaniel, dressed as a graceful butterfly, is the ninth photo. What pretty wings she has.

Tenth picture: Calling all UPS men! There’s a new dog in town: a retriever dressed to impress! But, where’s my delivery from Doggie Things that mom ordered?'

Having a spooktacular time at the canine Halloween Party in Central Park! Wish you were here! Maybe next year!

TRICK OR TREAT!"

Writing credit: Simone, THE Park Avenue poodle who loves Halloween!

"The Poodles of Park Avenue" is available at: https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/the-poodles-of-park-avenue-karen-cherie-cogane/1122407386