Happy is good. Unhappy is better

(Here is a speech I delivered at a convocation some years ago.)

I am delighted to be here this evening. I am also feeling a bit awkward. Let me tell you why.

I have never been to a convocation in my life. When I graduated in 1969 with a Physics Major from Mumbai University, I got a third class. So I could not go to the convocation.

I have never worn the coat or the cap, even for fun. So it is ironic that I should be speaking to you as a chief guest this evening, wearing this coat.

Let me assure you, I am not here to give you advice on what you should or should not do in your life. Frankly, it is none of my business.

I am here to share something that I have observed in my life in all these years. It is that 'Happy is good, unhappy is better'

There have been enough instances in my life to make me understand that 'Happy is good, unhappy' is better.

Soon after my BSc exams, my father advised me that I should look for a job, if I did not want to pursue further studies. I was unhappy with my performance. I did not whine, complain, or crib. Nor was I worried about the future. I hunted for a job and got one within 15 days.

It was with a management consultant. I wanted a job and got one within 15 days. The day I got the results I was feeling low - I got a third class. That day my boss told me "I don't get confused between a third-class graduate and a third-rate person. So get on with your job." Sound advice.

Within six months I realised that I was unhappy. So I got another job but quit that too within a month because there was no work. I sat idle waiting for my boss who never turned up after the first day.

Soon I got a job at Crompton Greaves in their Lighting Sales. It was exciting - the job was in Pune I was going to be away from home. Within two years I realised I was unhappy with this job too. I didn't think I wanted to spend my life selling tube lights.

Soon I landed a job with Frank Simoes Advertising. I worked there for four years. Frank Simoes was one of India's finest creative people. I was lucky to have got a break there. Those four years were like my foundation years in the advertising business. It was hard work but rewarding as well. I was doing well but soon became unhappy.

Then I moved to Ogilvy Benson & Mather, one of India’s largest agencies. The man who hired me became my mentor. He shaped my thinking, my professional conduct and helped me understand my strengths. I never thought I could be the head of an office. He proved that I could.

I was the head of their Bangalore office and became a vice-president. Life was good. Good company, good money, good clients, good colleagues. But I was unhappy. Why?

Because many of my senior clients always wanted my boss's opinion on everything. They would not accept my recommendations, even if they were good.

Here is one instance. I had gone to meet the MD of one of our large clients. In the course of our meeting, we had a discussion on one of their brands. I made some recommendations. He politely fobbed me off.

Next week my boss and I met him again. I had informed my boss of our last meeting. When we met the MD, my boss repeated my recommendation.

My client's reaction was a complete surprise - he loved the recommendation and said "This is why I look forward to your visits. You always bring a fresh perspective"

The meeting ended well. But I was unhappy. That day I decided I must master some aspect of the business where I was considered THE EXPERT.? My boss was kind enough to give me the freedom and the opportunity to learn Direct Marketing. I set up that business for the first time in India.

I became a member of the board and moved to Mumbai. My mentor retired by this time, and I had a new boss.

I was given a unique opportunity to integrate the expertise of all our businesses and offer a seamless service.

I had no real power or authority over anyone. While people liked me and respected me they did not have to listen to me. No one reported to me. I was unhappy again. But my new boss showed me how to be helpful and add value to other people's work. This helped me set up a consulting business in my company.

I did this for six years. Was I happy? Not really. I was itching to create something different and new. I decided to quit the company. The company where I worked for 25 long years.

I started on my own and set up a professional service firm in the domain of innovation, creativity, and change. I have been at this for 15 years now.

If you noticed every time I felt unhappy there was a turn in my career. Something new, something better happened.

When I talk about 'unhappy' I am referring to my feelings about the status quo. The way things were. When I felt unhappy, I wasn't an unhappy man. I was not cribbing or raving or ranting about what was wrong about the world.

David Ogilvy once said that we must suffer from divine discontent. He said that if you are content with what you have you will soon become complacent and that will be the end of your progress.

My 'unhappy' is like David's 'divine discontent'.?

Why am I telling you all this?

?Because I know that you are eager to make a mark in that big world outside. Many of you will be successful. Some of you might make big money. A few of you may become famous.

?You will chase happiness all the time. That is good. But when you arrive at your destination keep your sensors active. When you feel a little unhappy, introspect and ask yourself 'why am I feeling this way?'.

?I don't want to be so happy that I cannot recognize that sometimes I do feel unhappy. In my life feeling a little unhappy has always helped.

Even today this works for me. It is like a little murmur when it appears. It happens sometimes after a client meeting. Sometimes in my workshops; sometimes in my interactions with people

When I genuinely listen, I have gone back and improved something.

?Five years ago I felt a little unhappy.

Business was good, better than I expected. But, I was not clear about my purpose. Why am I in business? Making money? Big deal, everybody makes money. Like someone said 'Profits are to business, what breathing is to the human being. Do we live just to breathe? So to say the purpose of business is to make profits is like saying I live to breathe.

Even a person in an ICU on a ventilator breathes. He is in an air-conditioned room, well looked after.? But you & I don't want to live that way.

So I asked myself this question. What is your purpose? After a lot of struggle, I arrived at this conclusion.

"My purpose in life is to help those people who want to think differently and do better in life."

Feeling a little unhappy will lead you to this big question. The earlier you tackle it, the better it will be for the rest of your journey.

So here is my message to you.

Happy is good, unhappy is better. Whenever you feel unhappy, look within and ask, why?

Your answers could steer you to a life of achievement and fulfillment.

All the best.

?(This was a talk I delivered at a convocation, several years ago. Incidentally, if you are feeling unhappy or restless in your current career, and wish to have a chat, send me an email [email protected])

?

?

?

?

?

?

?

?

?

?

?

?