Happy Ears Syndrome ??????
James White
Working with CEOs & Leaders to Turn Sales Targets into Actual Numbers. Specialising in IT, Software and Financial Services. I build Sales Growth Plans for you.
Hello Reader,
?? Salesperson 1 - The meeting went very well….
?????? Salesperson 2 - The prospect liked what we had to offer…
??♂? Business Owner 3 - I am pretty sure they are going to go with us…..
?? ?? ?? Fast Forward 6 weeks ?? ?? ??
??♂? Salesperson 1 - I don’t understand it, they were nodding along to everything I said
???? Salesperson 2 - It’s strange, they seemed to have changed their mind
??♂? Business Owner 3 - I am not sure what has happened. They must have had a problem
What happened to all 3 of these scenarios that I regularly hear?
How did they all go from being ‘certaintys’ to being lost deals in the pipeline?
Group 1:
2 out of the 3 people will blame the prospect. They will use excuses such as, "‘Their circumstances must have changed" or "they must just be busy".
Group 2:
1 out of the 3 will look in the mirror and realise it wasn’t the prospect at fault. It was them. They realise they had a ‘Sales Condition’ they needed help with. A condition called 'Happy Ears Syndrome'.
What is the Happy Ears Syndrome and how can it be fixed? ??
All too often in sales conversations we don't control what we actually hear.
We hear words or see actions but we don’t really listen to what is being said. Or what is not being said.
Albert Mehrabian in his study in 1979 talked about the success of a communication being driven not just by our words (7% of the success) but by our tone of voice (38%) and the physical way in which we share the information. Our posture, facial expressions and gestures.
But those with Happy Ears Syndrome don’t sadly take note of this. Or they just choose to ignore the signs. But as we all want deals to come to fruition, I don’t believe its this.
They just let their ears (and in some cases their eyes) hear what they THINK the prospect is saying when in reality they are saying something very different.
I have had the Happy Ears condition before as well. I had to learn where I went wrong.
My wife is a good teacher here ??
When I want to do something at relatively short notice (like head out for a game of golf and then some dinner and drinks with friends afterwards), I will casually say to her what I am thinking and then really LISTEN and WATCH the response I get.
I listen out not just for the words she will say which will often be ‘ok that’s fine’ but the way in which she says it. The flat and dismissive tone and the way she then looks away and gets on with something else is all I need.
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With Happy Ears syndrome, I would have just thought ‘everything is ok’ she is fine.
With the condition cured, I know its not.
She is saying yes but not meaning yes. The tone and look away tell me that she isn’t happy with what I am doing and so instead of going out and then coming back to an unhappy wife, I deal with it there and then.
‘I could be wrong but I just sensed that you aren’t totally happy about that. Be honest with me, what are you REALLY thinking (or you could say How are you REALLY feeling about this)'.
You will note I have made the word REALLY above in caps and in bold. This is purposeful. I focus in on this word and say it in a slower, more empathetic tone when I ask the question as my goal is to show that I do want to know what she is actually thinking and feeling.
When I do this, I often get her ‘real’ reaction which is that she isn’t overly pleased and then we work together to have a conversation about what we can do about it and whether its still something to do.
The point here is that with Happy Ears, I would have listened to the words but not understood the real meaning behind them.
Sales Amateurs just hear what they want to hear. They have Happy Ears. They don’t take note of what is actually happening and being said but carry on regardless. They don’t show true self awareness.
They think they have listened but then get caught out with what the prospect really thought.
When the sales person said ‘The meeting went very well’ that probably means the other person nodded and was polite and when asked if they wanted a proposal probably said ok.
Without being in every conversation its difficult to know exactly but good sales people will qualify with questions such as ‘Have we covered everything that you wanted to today’ and ‘How valuable has the meeting been for you’?
They will then listen to the tone, energy and response from the other person and gauge whether they think the meeting has gone well or were they just being polite?
Still sensing uncertainty or doubt from the other side? Clarify it. Don’t just accept it and think it will be ok. All you stand to do (when you have Happy Ears) is waste time, energy and emotion. Those with Happy Ears spend time chasing the prospect, trying to call them, maybe even sending proposals when in reality, if they had listened properly they would have realised the meeting didnt go as well as they thought.
The Happy Ears had listened to the wrong signals from the other side.
Those with the condition fixed, listened to what was really said and responded in the right way.
So here is a question for you?
How often have you had Happy Ears? How often have meetings and sales conversations not gone the way you wanted them to? When you look back now, did you really spot the signs?
Were your ears LOOKING for good news even when there may not have been any there?
You can blame the prospect if you want but those who have the ‘Happy Ears’ condition fixed know they need to become better at reading and hearing what is really being said.
When you do that, the meetings and conversations which you have are more than likely to turn into the business that you want!
Get the Happy Ears Syndrome problem fixed. It will help you win more deals in the long run.
Wishing you all a brilliant week ahead.
Until next Saturday, keep smiling and stay focused on becoming a fly on the wall of the brain of your buyer.
James
Account Management Specialist. Film Enthusiast | Building Connections & Solutions
4 个月James, this article hits home! I can definitely say that "Happy Ears Syndrome" is something I’m still struggling with. Funny enough, just on Sunday, I found myself reflecting on how sales can mess with your mindset. It’s easy to fall into the trap of celebrating too early, especially when you’re chasing that validation or trying to add another win to the "numbers game." The hardest lesson I’ve had to swallow (in the past week, no less!) is the importance of slowing down and actually listening. I mean, really listening—because Happy Ears can trick you into hearing what you want to hear, rather than what the prospect is truly saying. It's like they’re being polite, nodding along, and the next thing I know, I’m giving them less priority and moving on to the next. But reality hits hard when you’re left with a pipeline full of nothing! Lesson learned: I need to keep my ears in check and stop imagining deals where they don’t exist. Thanks for the much-needed reminder!
Outsourced Marketing Solutions consultant specialising in marketing planning, web design, SEO, PPC, content writing, social media management, email marketing and CRM.
4 个月Great article, thank you James. In my first sales role with American Express, I had to learn a sales pitch word for word which seemed very regimented to me. I later learned that this was to encourage sales people to focus on the buyers body language rather than think about what they had to say. It certainly got me off to a start in sales.