Happy Christmas or Miserably Social?

Are you actually having as much time planning your Christmas as much as you will on the actual day?

As a Husband to one, and Father to 3, I used to be so stressed at Christmas time, for so many years, probably why I'm bald now

Until family war broke out, and as much as the casualties from that war sucked, it revealed so many things, and made our Christmas's since much more enjoyable in many ways, although not all.

My wife Kelly has had more time since those days, to know what I enjoy for a gift, and that I could buy my own socks as needed, and she took more time to understand what I truly enjoy at Christmas, more than any present, is time spent together enjoying the day... and if we choose to do gifts then we have an understanding that if it's not 'the things' we'd like due to price increases or in-availability at the time then we simply state that to be the case, and wait, rather than stressing about whether it was wrapped and ready 'for the day' of...when we plan to be together for decades, not just F***ing Christmas...

Amongst other things, we found so many benefits of no longer being 'trapped' by 'family obligation bull shit' of those that simply do not give a f*** about us at all, and we don't have to put up with them pretending either...

As we realised that we had been people pleasing them for too long, the last of the relatives that we were in contact with after the family war quietened down, still didn't know anything about us, and so we stopped opening their 'gifts' if they were given before the day, and just passed them to the next visitor that came through that was about to give us the same f***ing thing as the last person anyway... which might have saved a few trees in wrapping paper, and was much less stressful.

In previous years before the war, we paid attention to each person we were in contact with, 'friend, family and in between' to pick up the 'perfect' thing that they would actually need, and they always loved it from what we could see and hear... so much so that we actually saw them use the things we got them even when we dropped in without planning it ahead, so we knew we were doing well by them, ...whilst we used to end up with a sh**load of 'deodorising hampers' of 'soaps' and other hampers of junk foods that they knew we were trying to cut out of our lives... which considering we ate really well, and have always been able to cook, and we showered two to three times a day (because we always maintained an awesome sex life along the way) we really didn't need anything of what they 'gave.' Although we could have used some help and support in place of these things at times, and this they knew also.

To add to this, each side of the family used to argue over which way we 'had' to travel... which was about 90 minutes drive in 35-40 degrees (Celsius) regardless of which direction we travelled to Kelly's side or mine, just to do exactly the same thing each Christmas...

... it was clear that none of them knew who we were from the conversations alone either.

They didn't support anything outside of 'working hard at a dead end job' which is their life choice that we respected, but did not want ourselves... as we saw how miserable their experience was with it and was so f***ing boring listening to them repeat exactly word for word what they said the year before, with inserts on the news that we didn't watch even then...

So no more 'insulting comments disguised as jokes'

No more listening to drunken arguments extended from decades earlier

No more unnecessary travelling to satisfy someone else's 'demands' disguised as a guilt trip

No more thoughtless and tasteless gifts

No more peer pressure to drink or do what everyone else was doing that we didn't want to do

No more having to make excuses to get the f*** out of there and go home as soon as possible

No more just about to pull out of the driveway as 'that' uncle decides to get chatty after being completely silent the rest of the day previously ... delaying your escape for up to another f***ing hour just because you don't have the heart to tell him that it's exactly what he did and said last year ...

No more bull shit out of tune carols to get stuck in your head for the next year, because god forbid they actually practise to improve that voice, ... that we could have outperformed playing a cat

No more being forced to see those photos that 'that' aunty would pull out from the most boring trips on earth...

No more holding back from being ourselves and able to say 'no thank you' to gifts that we don't need or want...

Since those times, we've successfully chosen our own ways of celebrating our days, not just Christmas or any other holidays or birthdays, but all days.

Kelly and I are free to celebrate any day as we choose it, and don't have to wait for someone else to dictate to us as to 'how' to do so, which has been amazing in itself

Being able to attract people that want to also be treated for 'who they are,' and not who they are 'assumed' to be, that actually know how to give gifts of their time, are way more common than we previously thought, and they feel the relief of sharing the same knowledge that we can buy our own shit,...

Upon re reading this, it does sound like a bit of a rant, although it was not intended...

The point of all this, the intention, was to let you know, you don't have to do what everyone else is doing... at all

You get to choose your future

You get to choose your way of life

You get to choose how to spend your days... all of them

You get to choose how 'not' to do things just as much ...

You get to choose the standards you accept in your life experience...

So if you're happy in a dead end job working until you die, getting ready to bore people out of their minds in 'family obligation and tradition' like most of my relatives apparently have chosen to aim for, well done, hat off to you for choosing something that's in direct line of that well trodden path of repetitions...

However, if you would prefer to redesign your Christmas's, New Years, Birthdays and all the days in-between, do reach out so that I can add you to the growing group of like minded persons to share these upcoming days with... as we're planning for the self sustaining lifestyles that actually include fun, freedom, adventure and pioneering ideas into actions that enhance our life experience in every way

Kelly and I are not aiming for a nursing home, we're aiming to enjoy our life all the way to the end

We're not planning on having the extra worry of being unplugged for someone to charge their phone lol

Hope you enjoyed this read, and I do hope you have a great Christmas...

I just hope that you are choosing for you in a way that you yourself and loved ones enjoy all of Christmas mutually ... in mutually shared abundance, love and compassion, ... not stress and guilt...

There's no longer any reason not to be blunt about these things anymore, especially with the bulk of the world turning to Sh** around us from way too many people following pointless traditions all their f***ing lives ...

JC didn't die on the cross for us to f*** up our lives, live in depressive obligations and fake-ness around a dead tree giving each other things we don't need...

I'm pretty sure that we are meant to enjoy our lives

I'm pretty sure that we are supposed to love the people around us for the unique weirdos we were each born to be

I'm pretty sure we were meant to be happier than we have been

I'm pretty sure we were meant to love and appreciate each other, not force people to do sh** we don't really want to do anymore

I'm pretty sure we're meant to create less rubbish, not more...

Merry Christmas and a Prosperous New Year, with love from NFN Coaching

(Not F***ing Normal Coaching)