Happy 23rd Anniversary, A!

I used to say, "I never want to get married." Today, I am celebrating my 23rd wedding anniversary.

In recognition of A, my loving husband, I want to modify the quote "behind every great man there's a great woman" to "beside every great woman there's a great man."

Why?

A is my equal, yet without him, I would not have achieved my career success.

I used to also say, "I never want to have children." So, when we finally decided to become parents, we discussed how we wanted to raise our kids.

Despite having an affordable domestic helper environment in Asia, we wanted to have one full-time parent. A took on the role of our family’s “domestic engineer.”

Our friends often say to A, "You are so lucky!"

I wonder why no one ever says that to a full-time housewife. I also wonder why no one says that to me! I am not only lucky that A was willing to embrace a less traditional role reversal, but I am also lucky he does such a fantastic job.

So how do you go about making such a decision? How do you ensure it can be successful?

Discuss the Topic

Each family unit is different. The key is to have pragmatic (rather than emotional) discussions. For us, I was older and further along in my career, and finance was an easily transferable skill. My husband is more patient, super capable with DIY projects, and great with research. That worked for our family.

Dismiss the Bias

It takes courage to do something less traditional. We were fortunate to have a role model. Our friend Thomas was an amazing stay-at-home dad raising three kids in multiple countries where Connie’s job took them.

Sometimes our kids ask (complain), "Why can’t Baba go to work and Mama stay home like our friends?" That comment can really hurt. We learned to adopt social media language to explain that we are trendsetters (wannabe influencers). This arrangement is not unique to us. In 2017, at a leadership conference, half the women leaders were the breadwinners with stay-at-home dads.

Letting Go and Trust

A key success factor was learning to let go, delegate with trust. ?Parenting is challenging.?? As new parents, we get nervous about getting our kids into the right schools, ensuring they are entertained with the right activities, and having adequate playdates. I found myself overseeing the kids’ schedule, which added stress on top of my? full-time job. More importantly, it came across as second-guessing my very capable husband. Finding that balance required me to let go and trust. No blame.

Business Principles

To put these into business terms: strategy, courage, and empowerment.

Strategy:?Just as in business, having a clear plan and discussing options is essential. We evaluated our strengths and career paths and made a strategic decision that benefited our family unit.

Courage:?Stepping away from traditional roles required the same courage needed to innovate in business. It was about challenging societal norms and doing what worked best for our family.

Empowerment:?Trusting and empowering A in his role was crucial. In business, empowering your team leads to greater efficiency and success.

?Happy 23rd to my wonderful husband for all his love, support, and for being my number one champion.

In the spirit of my 60 over 60 theme, the best is yet to come and can’t wait to our Third Act together (not quite 60 yet).