Happy 2024! ...I think...?

Happy 2024, everyone!

What an exciting time it is for us all to have new dreams, create new visions, aspire for greatness, and make more money!

Well, all of this might sound exciting but for a lot of people, the beginning of the year can be an incredibly stressful time. Switching from "holiday mode" to "work mode", knowing that from next Monday onwards, you - YOUR WORK YOU - will be responsible for checking off lists, meeting deadlines, delivering reports, performing consistently, competing but without being a b****, and excelling beyond all targets... Yep, the harsh realities of work life will kick in - whether we are ready for them or not.

These thoughts can easily lead us to feeling anxious, fearful, lonely, desperate, overwhelmed, helpless, and sometimes even, hopeless.

Learning how to cope with our realities can open us up to achieving our FULL potential. When we make a habit of practicing the steps needed to cope, we can achieve higher levels of happiness and by default, better lives. Don't we all want to look back on 2024 and say "That was a great year!"??

Understanding what triggers our emotions can help us manage negative ones. We all need to remember that emotions do not define us. Emotions are like passing clouds in the sky of our lives, even though it sometimes feels like the emotion IS the sky - forever dark and overpowering. By learning to identify the behavior chains?(trigger -> thought –> action –> consequence) behind our habitual / automatic responses, we gain a better understanding of where we struggle, and from there, we can make positive changes.

Therefore, here are my 3 practical steps to preserving your mental health in 2024:

1. Understand your trigger.

To understand your trigger, start at the end of your behavior chain and work backward. Identify the consequence - this is usually the result of a specific behavior. For example, being reprimanded for being late to work (consequence) may be the result of waking up late (action). The action of waking up late may be caused by you telling yourself (thought) that you are in a dead-end job. Whether the thought is based on fact or your imagination, is irrelevant at this point. Thoughts become powerful through the mere creation of the thought. The thought of "I'm in a dead-end job" could have been triggered by one of your family members commenting at the family Christmas party that you are "still" working for .... This tiny little word "still" is the trigger; delivered with little consideration, it has managed to enter into your psyche and has set you on a downward spiral of overthinking, panicking, feeling inferior, and ultimately, leading you to find yourself in a less-than-ideal situation, which will compound into bigger bad things. By understanding the trigger, we identify the source of the pain affecting our lives and can address it with self-compassion.

2. Create a Small and Rock Solid Support System

Knowing exactly who you can count on (especially when you are at your lowest) is a game changer in your journey to mental well-being. Make a list of 3 people who you can go to with your biggest fear or failure and know they will not judge you. Answer the below questions to identify your Magic Three:

- This person will encourage me when I tell them I failed today.

- This person will give me good advice when I ask for help.

- This person will accept me -not judge me- when I tell them I indulged in my guilty pleasure(s).

A pitfall of creating the Magic Three list which we must all beware of, is adding people who all too easily accept us for everything we are - whether by habit (bestie from childhood) or because they don't actually care (they may express sympathy but not be empathetic). It's so vital to have people in our Magic Three system who can be empathetic but also hold us accountable for our actions. This feeds into Action #3 which is:

3. Set Boundaries

A current and ongoing global affliction affecting people today is thinking that things happen "to" us. It's almost like we convince ourselves that we have no control. Especially in Africa, we place all responsibility (and faith) into God. While having faith is life-saving, it must not be used as an escape route to us holding ourselves accountable. I'm sure you've heard the quote “Life is 10% what happens to us and 90% how we react to it.” Isn't that an empowering thought? Just when you felt so helpless and hopeless about 2024, look at the boundless opportunities at your fingertips! By setting boundaries, we can take back some control in ensuring that we place ourselves in the most optimum situations that lead up to our own creation of a "great year". Reflecting on what we want, understanding the possible challenges to getting it, and brainstorming on how best to mitigate those challenges is key. We very often say things like "I just want to be happy." But then we are careless in where we place ourselves - in physical spaces and among actual people and energies that have no positive contribution towards our happiness. Because we are not intentional, we are unable to uphold our boundaries.

This January, I challenge all of you to write your 2024 action plan using these 3 practical tips. What triggers lead you to experience consequences that are working against you? Who are you allowing access to your life who is not supportive, caring, and contributing to your overall happiness and success? Where are you allowing yourself to override what you think is important to please other people, or just because it's always been that way?

This January, let's unpack accountability and embrace it as the magic key.

At EA360 we strive to provide you with the tools necessary to catalyze your personal and professional capacity, sustainably leading you to make more money for yourself, your families, and national economies. If you are ready to take your personal and professional development seriously, book a free 15-minute Discovery Call with me here: https://calendly.com/coachyobi/discovery.