Happiness Within - Few simple practices for Personal Transformation

In this fast-paced age where everyone is constantly connected, extremely busy and running around chasing perceived success, I am reminded of an old saying: “you cannot control what is on the outside, you can only control what is in the inside”.

Yet, most of us, from dawn to dusk, are all about ideating, planning and executing strategies and plans which require us to control everything that falls into the outside. By going against nature, this creates heightened stress, anxiety and fears which eventually leads to a busy, yet unhappy and unfulfilling life. Perhaps, this is why we often look to switch off (and recover) at the end of the day (happy dinners), end of the week (happy weekends) and end of the terms (happy vacations). The notion that happiness does not and will not exist at work, is fast becoming our limiting belief. I believe, we can turn this around and can generate true happiness and fulfillment, regardless of the circumstances, environment and situations.   

I have developed a personal transformation model called Happiness Within, which is built around 11 simple practices that can truly transform one’s self. The model is based around 3 stages of maturity. The Foundation stage is designed to establish 3 practices which helps establish the core principles for everything that we do in our lives. Embrace stage is about identifying and accepting self by using 3 practices and finally The Energize phase is to apply 5 practices in forming a new execution capability. Each one of these are described here, in more detail.

1.     Foundation – “Set the Intention”

An intention exists for every thought and every action. It's a given. There's no question whether or not an intention exists; the question is, what is the intention? When you know what the intention is, that knowledge alone activates the power of intention. Intention is the starting point of every dream. It is the creative power that fulfills all of our needs, whether for money, relationships, spiritual awakening, or love. Actions naturally follow intention. This happens whether you're aware of the intention or not. The first step is to recognize your intention in everything that you do.

2.     Foundation – “Give Unconditionally”

Coming from a place of no expectations is liberating. Not focusing on what you get back in return, when you give, is very difficult. The true art of giving is to give from the heart without any expectation of a return. Best give is “gratitude” and this can change your life. You can give gratitude, multiple times a day, for all your blessings. Have you ever seen a person who is completely immersed in gratitude, complaining or cribbing about anything or anyone? Nothing in our lives is guaranteed (for instance, whether one would wake up the next morning), but yet upon experiencing it, we do not feel compelled to say “thank you” – why is that? This can be changed by consciously hunting for opportunities to give – time, respect, gratitude, care, kindness, love, knowledge - options are endless of what you can truly give.

3.     Foundation – “Receive Gracefully”

Receiving is just as important as giving. Some of us have a hard time receiving a compliment, gift, or money. We may feel guilty or think we don’t deserve it. Any time you receive something positive, be thankful. Learn to accept things graciously and to truly believe that you deserve them. There is a divine reason for this gift. For instance, just recall the last unpleasant experience which you had and ask yourself why you were subjected to it. Think about the new learnings that were sent your way.  And then receive them gracefully. Open your heart to receive – not receiving with grace will stop the flow of gifts. Receiving in this manner helps one assess why certain gifts have been sent their way, what is the learning involved and what should we keep and what to let go.

4.     Embrace I – “Report to Self”

Who is your real boss in life? Is it a parent, spouse, situations, circumstances, boss at work, customers, community? My view is that the real boss is in the mirror. A supreme reporting line, which sees through everything which is within you. You meet this boss several times a day. Reporting to self; eradicates fear, re-enforces the moral compass, creates freedom (liberates one from the control of others) and helps you establish and maintain a positive control within. It activates the inner-Coach and promotes the notion of being driven from within. All we have to do is to start reporting to self.

5.     Embrace I – “Inside-Out vs Outside-In”

There are 2 unique views in life. Each of us practices both, perhaps one more than the other. Situations decide which view is the best fit. Some of us struggle to get this fitment right. One view “Outside-In” states that “I could have reached my potential and scaled heights only if the world and its people were more helpful and supportive, only if my circumstances were better, and my luck was shining”. This view concludes that “I am, who I was forced to be” (outside-in). The other view (Inside-Out) states that everything which happens to me is because of me, it is generated within me, I cause my happiness and success and not the circumstances or the people. This view concludes that “I am, who I choose to be”.

6.     Embrace I – “I am vs I Feel”

Our feelings are quite powerful but they do not define who we are, instead they merely influence a change of state within us. Separating who you are, from what you feel, helps one to “let go” easily. If you feel powerful, then you act powerfully. Your feelings define how you operate in the world. And, unless you change those feelings, you are going to act as you have always acted, and you will produce the results you've always produced. Healing yourself from unwanted feelings can be learned. The idea is not to fight the negative feeling but instead accept it and let it flow out of your system. It helps us access heightened creativity. A simple, powerful and easy-to-learn technique which helps uncover your natural ability to let go of any painful or unwanted feeling is contained within the Sedona Method.

7.     Energize I – “Know what you Want”

If you don’t know what you want, you end up with a lot you don’t need. Knowing what you want helps you to determine your true purpose in life. Know what you want today so that you don’t let your plan B distract you from your plan A. Best advice is to start somewhere but start today, what you want could be absolute or exact, or it could be abstract, just a notion, or even some design principle (which might lead you to what you think that you want). Answer to what you want, can change. There should be no fears in getting it wrong. Imagine introducing yourself to someone you met after years of being apart. Describe where you are in life and what you have achieved. Remember to be as detailed as you can. Once you’ve done this, begin to work backwards and determine what you can do today in achieving what you truly desire

8.     Energize I – “Set & Track your top Goals”

Once you know what you want, the next natural step is to set & track your top goals. These can be just a few, maybe 3-4. Create goals which help you break your current barriers. Cover your important life facets (such as career, family, health etc.), through your goals. Ask yourself what success and failure means for each of your goals. An idea is just a dream until you write it down, then it’s a Goal.

9.     Energize I – “Say Yes”

All our lives we have been taught to say No. Personal transformation here is to flip this notion and say Yes. Open yourself up for everything, try new things, there is no shame in having tried and failed than not tried at all. When your heart is open, you flow with love and compassion, you are quick to forgive, you do not hold grudges, and you accept others and yourself. Act of inflicting pain on others is coming from Fear, Ignorance or Hatred. These are the sure tell signs of a closed heart. Saying Yes will help you rediscover yourself and create real excitement and adventure in your life. You will learn and gain from every Yes that you say.

10.  Energize I – “Be Mindful”

We are made up of 3 fundamental components – body, mind and soul / energy. Body is relative to time (ages as time passes), Soul / Energy is fluid and will flow as directed, Mind is not time bound and can jump between past and future, with a bit of presence. Mindfulness is the art of training our minds to be in the present, connected to our body and directing our energy in this present moment to achieve the cardinal, illusive balance. When you are mindful, there is no judgement – either of self or of others. It’s a divine state of peace and harmony. Mindfulness can be learned through meditation. It helps unleash boundless energy and clarity.

11.  Energize I – “Self Reflect Proactively”

For many of us, self-reflection happens on a reactive basis. When outcomes are produced, post facto reflections are done to assess the learnings of what worked and what can be improved. Shift is to conduct proactive self-reflection (serious thought about one’s character and actions). The real reason why many people continue to struggle while others successfully overcome the greatest of odds comes down to the simple act of self-reflection. Proactive pondering aids in understanding the big picture, without the hassle of dealing with a negative result before us, which often clouds the thinking.

Understanding and applying these few practices, in the order of maturity, increases the personal effectiveness of what we can control (which is; what lies within us). Application of later practices is productive once the foundations have been mastered. Happiness Within model has been packaged and is delivered for organizations and individuals in a half day workshop, with interactive exercises and real life scenarios. Trend of imparting personal effectiveness techniques prior to technical and soft skills training is on the rise, within organizations. This can help build stronger organizations by cultivating an eager want of personal transformation within individuals.