The Happiness Trap: Rethinking Our Approach to Goals and Fulfillment

Are you tired of setting goals, achieving them, and still feeling unfulfilled? You're not alone. Many of us fall into the trap of thinking that happiness lies just beyond the next accomplishment.

In this newsletter, we'll explore why the common approach to finding happiness through external achievements often falls short, and introduce a more effective way to discover true contentment.

The Endless Pursuit of "More"

I used to believe that if I could just land that dream job, buy that perfect house, or reach a certain income level, I'd finally be happy. But every time I achieved a goal, the joy was fleeting, and I quickly found myself chasing the next big thing.

This cycle of setting goals, achieving them, and still feeling unsatisfied is exhausting and ultimately unfulfilling.

The Flawed Advice We've All Heard

You've probably heard advice like "Set bigger goals" or "Work harder to achieve more." This guidance assumes that happiness is something to be earned or acquired through external means.

However, this advice misses a crucial point: true happiness isn't found in objects, achievements, or other people's approval. It's already within us, waiting to be recognized.

A Wiser Approach to Happiness

Instead of solely chasing external goals, let's explore a different path to happiness:

1. Recognize Your True Nature
2. Practice Self-Inquiry
3. Cultivate Presence

Goals and Work: A Balanced Perspective

It's important to note that setting goals and working hard are not inherently problematic. In fact, they can be great tools for personal and professional growth. The key is to shift your perspective:

• Use goals as guides to direct your efforts, not as definitions of your worth
• Engage in work for the sake of the work itself, not just for the outcome
• Let the present moment and the process be your reward
• Allow achievements to be natural byproducts of your efforts, not the sole source of fulfillment

Unlocking Your Unlimited Potential

This pursuit of inner happiness is not just about feeling good. The inner peace and clarity that come from this approach unlock our unlimited potential. Imagine feeling clear, confident, and calm, unattached to what comes next. How liberating would that be?

When you're not constantly chasing external validation or worrying about future outcomes, you're free to fully engage with the present moment. This state of being can dramatically improve your relationships and performance in all areas of life.

Steps to Start Your Journey

1. Make presence your top priority. Practice being fully engaged in each moment.
2. Explore inward to find the root of recurring ruminations. What thoughts keep coming back?
3. Spend more time doing nothing. Allow yourself to simply be without constant activity.
4. Constantly work to let go of wanting or expectations of situations or others.

As Sri Ramana Maharshi wisely said:

"Happiness is the very nature of the Self; Happiness and the Self are not different. There is no happiness in any object of the world. We imagine through our ignorance that we derive happiness from objects. When the mind goes out, it experiences misery. In truth, when its desires are fulfilled, it returns to its own place and enjoys the happiness that is the Self."

True happiness isn't about achieving more or having more. It's about recognizing the peace and contentment that already exist within you.

To deepen your understanding of this approach, I recommend reading "Be As You Are" by Sri Ramana Maharshi.

Remember, you don't need to change who you are or what you have to be happy. Your true self is already complete and content – you just need to rediscover it.

If you would like to learn more, please reach out to me, or check out the ways I can help you live more consciously below.

I look forward to helping you on your journey to true happiness and inner peace.

Want to learn more? Below are the ways I can help...

Mindfulness Consultation : This one-hour session will set you on your path to sustained inner peace, ease, and clarity. You'll be introduced to key concepts and engage in practical exercises and techniques designed to increase your sense of peace, ease, and calm the ruminating mind.

Coaching Packages : Whether you're dealing with difficult people or situations at work, elevating your presence for interviews, or developing effective networking strategies, our one-on-one coaching programs can be transformational. Book a call today to discuss the right package for you.

Mindfulness Workshops: Job Search with Confidence & Clarity: This program is designed for job seekers looking to enhance their networking skills, interview preparation, and confident presentation. Book a call today for an initial session.

Brian Frohn

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