The Happiness Riddle

On an idyllic Maine beach just a few months ago, my kids were exploring the tide pools below. We’d lathered them up and filled up each paunch, and now they were cradling a crab in her conch. They were cautious, excited, and squealing with glee while they turned it, watched it, and then set it free. The crab, unperturbed, did what all crabs do best — it scuttled off sideways back home to its nest.

And that’s when it hit me, crabs are unique. They move through life?sideways?and act so oblique. Could crabs be the wise ones and we be the fools? For neither kiddos nor crabs seem to play by the rules. And yet, they are happy…day in and day out. Have kiddos and crabs really figured it out?

But hey! You and I, we play by the rules. The rules of adulthood. The rules of the fools.

Happiness, we say, is what we’re pursuing. But all that pursuing becomes our undoing. We grasp it, we clench it, we squeeze it to death — with screens, stuff, and status — until our last breath. We climb up our ladders, we often stay late, we thought this new title would make us feel great. But empty is what we actually feel. The feeling we feel is simply unreal. Our pursuit was elusive, our quest didn’t work — is happiness simply some kind of jerk?

Happiness, turns out, is a bit of a riddle. It dodges our efforts, plays us like a fiddle. When pursued directly, it’s harder to find. It’s sneaky, it’s slippery, got us in a bind.

Is it time to listen, is it time we turn — from kiddos and crabs, do we have something to learn?

Kids don’t worry about this happiness biz. They’re busy engaging with life as it is. They pursue what intrigues them, they do what they love. Happiness simply shines from above. They savor each moment and try things that are new. Happiness is simply…residue. They’re always engaging in this thing or that and happiness rains with a pit and a pat. With kids, it’s as if they already knew —?pursuing?happiness doesn’t work, it must always?ensue.

So next time you’re on the happiness trail, just remember, my friend, that it’s likely to fail. A better approach is likely to be…to do what excites you; let happy go free.

By pursuing your project, your family, your dream, your life will start to pick up some steam. It will feel, perhaps, entirely new. But then you’ll notice it…residue.

And to the kiddos who don’t know yet that life can be drab — keep doing it sideways, just like the crab.

(Poem by James Garrett)

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Originally published at?https://www.brainbydesign.com?on October 6, 2022.

Also published on Medium.