Is happiness really a choice or it comes from within?

We all have been told from time immemorial that true happiness doesn’t come from material things or money. It comes from deeper fulfillment and by being content from within. First let me explain why a lifestyle based off of money and material things doesn’t bring us happiness. If you rely on money for your happiness, then you fall into an endless cycle of frustration. What cycle? The cycle of thinking “I’ll be happy if I get X,” then getting X, not being satisfied, then thinking “I’ll be happy if I get Y,” then getting Y, and then keeping on with that same cycle of frustration.

Unfortunately this is what we’ve been led to believe - that chasing after money and after temporary things will bring us fulfillment. But it doesn’t. In America people are more depressed and anxious than ever, even though we have so much. That’s because the more you have, the more you want, and the harder it is to find true happiness and peace of mind. Then what does happiness look like if it doesn’t involve material things?

Have you ever searched all over the place for something, only to realize that you’ve had it with you all along. Happiness is like that. Rather than trying to fulfill every desire that comes to our minds, we can instead be content with what we currently have. Trying to fulfill each and every desire we have is an endless process that only leads to frustration because the more we try to satisfy our desires, the more desires we end up having. And we can never be happy if we are always in a state of desiring something because as long as we desire something, we can never achieve peace in the current moment. The way to achieve this state of contentment is through spirituality.

Someone is going through pain of rejection. Someone just lost his loved one. Someone just came to know about the infidelity of his spouse. Someone is unable to feed his children due to lack of resources. Someone is struggling hard to get a job despite all his efforts. You can’t just tell them to “chose to be happy” and expect a “placebo magic” that would make them happy. However, you can empower them with motivational words to have courage, hope and patience to pave their way through this misery.

Well, in my humble opinion, happiness may not be a choice. It is something that emanates from within and lights up the soul. However, optimism, compassion and a cheerful demeanour is a choice. By being optimistic, cheerful and compassionate towards others, despite his own misery, one can seek solace, courage and forget his problems/sadness for sometime. That way, he may keep himself going and keep making peace with the circumstances.

Of course I have seen people who wear a cheerful visage despite being broken inside and one can never tell what they’re going through, from their demeanour. And I have utmost respect for them but that doesn’t make them “happy” in literal sense, it rather makes them courageous that doesn’t mean I don’t respect anyone who rather decides to rant and vent out his pain- we all have different threshold and different ways to express.

Also consider this- One has to close his eyes and pretend to sleep, before he/she actually falls asleep. However, that doesn’t mean one can sleep at will. But he/she can make efforts to let go of all the vicious thoughts in his/her mind and summon and embrace the soothing lull that may help him calm and fall asleep. In the same way, inducement of happiness, is not same as the “Happiness” itself, in the literal sense, but an effort to basically divert attention from pain and anxiety by focusing at soothing things and seeking joy from enjoyable things/activities inducing positivity by keeping cheerful demeanour, and spreading warmth and joy drawing solace by contemplating things which makes us happy like movies, books, songs, ice creams, anything therefore helping others and drawing pleasure seeing their relief and happiness

What we are actually seeking “comfort” again befitting trying-to-sleep analogy and once, the peace this comfort bring along, meets with the pertinent opportunity and reason, happiness takes birth and emanates from within. Again the happiness may take birth even without all this inducement of peace and comfort, if something pleasurable happens against all adverse circumstances; but in that case, there are fair chances that we may overlook it and find ourselves unable to appreciate it. Cheers!