Happiness is in the Pursuit

Letting go of the Finish-Line Mentality

How do we create positive change while loving WHERE we are?

How do we create positive change while loving WHO we are….

If I am perfectly content, why would I ever get better?

If I am focused only on my future-self, how can I ever be content in the present?

Is it possible to find real happiness while still striving for better?

When we are driven by expectations, we lose our sense of peace

I will feel okay WHEN XYZ happens

When I get promoted

When I get married

When I have children

When I am able to retire

When I complete this project

When I move to a new city

When I can afford that vacation

But there is a difference between fulfillment and what we feel when we “cross a Finish-Line?”

When we set certain targets, objectives, goals, we imagine a future state

And in that state, we visualize ourselves to feel “content – happy – accomplished – enough”

But where does that leave our current self?

It creates a sense of emptiness with where we sit now

Goals are extremely important

I believe goals are essential in life

Goals are a tools that help us achieve success

But our relationship with goals is one that needs to be examined

We should not remove goals from our lives

Rather, how can we become more mindful about how relationship between our goals and our happiness?

Is it possible to be happy before the goal itself is achieved?

I was under the impression (falsely…) that if I allowed myself to feel happiness, a sense of enjoyment, before I reached that goal state, my drive would disappear

I would lose my motivation

I remember saying to a business partner,

“I don’t want to be happy. If I allow myself to become too happy, I won’t accomplish anything”

And thinking to myself,

“Everyone could be so much more successful if they weren’t so worried about enjoying themselves”

Sigh… younger Jack… you make me laugh

And as silly as it sounds, I genuinely believed I had it all figured out…

I now see that I was confusing complacency with happiness

Why would I keep pushing myself if I was content with who I am prior to crossing the Finish-Line?

Wouldn’t I just stop moving forward all-together?

If you are looking for factual answers to those questions, you aren’t going to find them here ?

Yet, I have developed a theory that has replaced my own Finish-Line-Mentality

Maybe, the GOAL is to BE HAPPY IN THE PURSUIT OF XYZ

I am happy here and now because I am working towards:

Promotion

Marriage

Having Children

Retirement

Project Completion

A new home

That next trip

When we can find happiness in the pursuit, we don’t feel lost without the Finish-Line

I find that I feel my best, within the Pursuit

The Pursuit of Happiness itself, is reason enough to find peace in the moment

I love myself when I am moving forward

And I try to remind myself, that sometimes, moving forward means taking time to stand still…

To appreciate what is, rather than what I want to be…

I love myself when I am moving forward, not because I am moving forward ?

Even as I am writing, I try to remind myself of the balance

Part of mind is saying, “Once you finish writing, you can edit, you can generate a cover photo, you can post, and THEN you can feel a sense of peace”

This is my own “Finish-Line-Mentality”

I am trying to get to this destination

Where I can relax, catch my breath, and finally feel okay

It is as if there is a sense of urgency that takes away from my own peace

Yes, that urgency and and does drive change

But it has be channeled

Urgency can provide additional horsepower, but it is a dangerous pilot

?

When I let go of the future, and focus on what is right in front of me, I feel a sense of peace

The process of thinking – writing – being itself provides a sense of equanimity

I am not writing in order cross the finish line (okay maybe a little bit, we are all a work-in-progress)

I am writing – typing – thinking – and putting thoughts to words because I enjoy it

Creating dialogue (or written text) out of my feelings and emotions is rewarding intrinsically

Yes, I would like to share my work

And my hope is, that my perspectives can inspire, entertain, or give others a catalyst to reflect themselves

But even if these words never left this page, there is reason for typing them

This Pursuit is not just an external Finish-Line

It is a continuous understanding of self

And in that process, there is happiness

Now I can’t avoid this question….

“Why can’t we be happy without pursuit?”?

Why can’t we just be happy with life as it is…

And to be completely honest, I don’t know the real answer

Sometimes, I really wish that were the case

But the conclusion I have come to, is this:

The universe is always in motion, life is always in motion, time is always in motion

The pursuit is itself a form of motion

To think that we could be happy without pursuit is in disagreement with reality

All things are temporary, impermanence is constant

Therefore, some form of pursuit is necessary

Isn’t the idea of “No more pursuits” a pursuit itself?

I mentioned that I am still a work-in-progress, and we all are

Self-reflection can be so hard to do, but is so powerful

Consider taking time to ask yourself some uncomfortable questions

“What Finish-Line am I using to withhold my own happiness?”

“Is it possible for me experience joy while still striving for improvement?”?

“Could the best version of me exist before the Finish-Line is crossed?”

“How do I feel about me during the race itself?”

"Is there a universe where I am fulfilled AND driven to achieve?"

“Isn’t the fun of life in the pursuit itself”?

“There are no wrong answers, only different perspectives”

If you have found this perspective helpful, please share it with a friend