Happiness and Purpose

1. A Picture of Happiness

We all want to be happy. We want our children and our employees to be happy. But how do we create profound and long-lasting happiness? This edition of Three on Purpose will explore finding happiness through purpose, meaning and positive impact.

I want to share a photo with you that captures happiness, and it's not because we're both smiling here. It's because, at age 20, I had a sense of purpose via making a difference in someone else’s life for the first time.

You see, my life began in unhappiness and tragedy. Just as I was born, my older brother was diagnosed with cancer, passing away three years later. He wasn't even 10. In her search for answers, my mother joined a cult that became the centre of our lives. Escaping the cult at 19 was terrifying, primarily due to the fear that my life would be meaningless. I went through a deep meaning-search, leading me to a degree in philosophy, which I loved. But it was tough. I had no support from my parents, and I had to starve through my first degree. To survive, I took on odd jobs, from scrubbing toilets to typing people's assignments. But what I did next completely changed my life and taught me what happiness looks like.

I joined an organisation where I worked with this kid for a year, four weekly hours, and, in return, I got half my tuition fee waived. I made a difference in his life, and that made me happy. I continued with that project for many years, becoming the vice manager. Every day, I felt that my work mattered. And that sense of mattering made me even happier.

2. Let’s Talk about Happiness

There are different kinds of happiness, and we are misled to mix them up. We tend to think about pleasure, joy, and happiness interchangeably. Pleasure will provide you with euphoria or short-term happiness, but not only is it not long-lasting, it might even harm us.

That's hedonism and self-pleasure, not happiness.

Our confusion is not coincidental. Corporations spend trillions to convince us that we will be happier if we consume. That our children will be McHappy if they just have a Happy Meal. Coca-Cola tells us to "open happiness". I've recently seen this on the Apple stores windows: Newphoria - the euphoria you get from getting a new phone. Sigh. That’s hedonic pleasure, not happiness.

When I talk about happiness, it is more aligned with Aristotle's idea of Eudaimonia (who said a degree in philosophy is impractical?). Eudaimonia is the deep sense of happiness we gain from living a fulfilled life and flourishing by achieving our potential. It comes from a deep sense of mattering - my life and work are significant because they contribute to the well-being of other humans, the community, and our planet.

Eudaimonia is the deep sense of happiness we gain from living a fulfilled life and flourishing by achieving our potential.

This is the happiness we need to teach our children. This is the kind of happiness you can see in the above photo: one broke student and a little boy being very happy together. I've found this little boy. Today, he is a manager in an IT company and has a family with two kids. He still remembers me. Now, that makes me happy.

3. Purpose and Happiness

Many believe we’ll be happy if we only get what we do not currently have. If only we could get that new house, job, or promotion, happiness would follow. However, research shows that this euphoria doesn’t last more than 2-6 weeks.

Harvard University researchers explored happiness by studying the same group of Americans from childhood to old age. Spanning nearly a century, they discovered that happiness was not about financial success or life pleasure but based on the warmth of the relationships in these people's lives. This study concluded that meaningful relationships, love, and a sense of mattering made people profoundly happy in the long term.

As I discuss in my book, impact purpose is about making a difference in someone else’s life or the world. It is about connectedness, relationships, and mattering. The people who report the highest levels of happiness usually devote their lives to the happiness of others. Funny enough, they get to be happy because of it.

Ask yourself – when was the last time you felt genuinely happy? Was it related to your relationships? To a sense of mattering in the world? If so, your happiness derives from a sense of purpose.

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