Happiness & Mindset

Mindset?can conspire to steal happiness and one's personal definition of success.??I'm convinced of it!?For about 15 years?after age 40, I planned to pursue an encore career at or around the age of 55.?My wife and kids came to know the goal as "the 15-year plan".?No magic to that number - just happens to be the approximate age of retirement for two of my siblings who had role-modeled many life goals over the years.?Long before I had any idea of what?would be necessary?to "retire comfortably", age 55 was the going to?be the time.??

I worked for a company during an era where 20+ year careers was still quite the norm - so it was not unusual to get into "life after working here.." conversations.?In one such conversation with a group that had traveled to Florida for a juice plant visit, I shared my plan .... and it was explained in a level of detail that one of my colleagues gushed "man Victor, I have to think about what?I'm doing with my life cause I want to be more clear about my plans like you".?To be clear, it was a moment of levity and fun - as I worked with some of the brightest and accomplished people one could imagine.?Admittedly, there was a lot of granularity to the plan- sharing?when?I'll retire (55),?where?I'll retire (Davidson, NC),?why?I chose Davidson (the university there offers free classes to residents who?purchase a collegiate sports season pass); and?what?I'll be doing (continuing education, coaching & mentoring /?angel investing).

Fast forward about 5+ years from that conversation which took place around 2017.

• Retirement (round #1 :)?~ age 55 - Check
• Davidson, NC - Nope
• Continuing education in retirement - Check (Director's Academy, and Exec Coaching Diploma)
• Coaching & mentoring others (albeit informally) - Check
• and recently, reconnecting with my basketball coaching roots by attending HS basketball practice and game coached by a player I coached.?at the game, I ran into a gentleman who called me by name and said, I'm 40 years old and you coached me when I was 10 - I'll never forget it!

One of my favorite quotes from TV ("A-Team") :?"I love it when a plan comes together"...??Given how things have shaped up, there's so much to be grateful for - and I am!.?

All that aside, it's easy to slip into a level of introspection that?can?feel like a "Debbie downer".?That's precisely what happened to me one day as I was driving to Costco in the middle of the day.?Still unaccustomed to?on-going weekday?free time, there was a moment or two where I was evaluating what now - what next, etc. and I had to check myself and remember how hard I endeavored to get to this point where I have a multitude of choices.?Most every day these days is an atheleisure day so I well-suited to pop into the gym after shopping.?As I'm walking through the locker room for a quick break before working out, I see this dude who's dressed in some serious workout gear such as a back brace, lifting gloves, and some kind of weighted vest (under the belt); he?some serious guns (biceps).?He's singing in the mirror - from my vantage point "living the dream".?

Now for a little side-bar; I've been known to be an astute observer of people!?There's?a scene from a movie "Date Night" where Tina Fey and Steve Carell?are in a restaurant?and?humorously "imagining / lip synching" what other dating couples are discussing.?They transport themselves to BE those couples.?The scene connected with me in the way I'd often walk past a construction project, see a worker, and imagine the life of?a carpenter or brick-layer?- "man it must be nice to go to work, do your job, and there's NOTHING to do or think about until back on-site the next day.?Now, of course, that's just me imagining what that life may be like.??

Back to the gym dude - I imagined him to be perhaps a former athlete - maybe he owns his own business and can hang out in the gym middle of the day... or maybe he's between jobs and totally in a moment of life transition but seriously happy to be in his element - in the gym.?Moments later, I'm focused on "leg day" on various machine weights and I see "workout dude" on the gym floor.?He's dancing and singing to himself between reps.?This scene reinforces my earlier observation - this man is really high on life!?So cool.?Me, I check in with myself, and I take note of some minor discontent - of no particular origin - but still, unsettled; perhaps it was a byproduct of being in a state of transition, I thought to myself...after all, I'm about 3+ months into retirement (from software tech company) and giving myself space to decide what's next.??

Then?I quickly checked myself, and reminded myself how important is is to keep doing what I've done in the past - be about the bigger picture; have a plan, but be willing to take a detour.?KNOW that I AM where I'm supposed to be - for me, thinking otherwise (regrets or second guessing) never helped me get to where I want to go.??I've been known to say (about happiness) - if financial security/wealth meant happiness, then (fill in the blank) might still be alive.?I can think of a few (observably?wealthy) famous people who died way too young in tragic ways.?

Mindset

"Mindset"?is used quite a bit these days - perhaps at times without enough conversation to make the intended (positive) impact.??I've often said to my own kids that?the pursuit of happiness IS?happiness.??It's the pursuit of (your heart's desire).... that makes for a life fulfilled.?Fixating on some one thing in life (say retirement) and then getting there can be disorienting without greater purpose - a mindset that elevates?the achievement of one goal to serve more?as the springboard for other endeavors.??There's symmetry in this thinking to other advice I've shared with others such as telling a:

• student, when you don't know what subject to study first, choose one and keep going vs paralysis trying to make the "perfect choice" (and instead wasting time vs studying SOMETHING!
• rising college freshman student - choosing a major; it can be a tough call, but is not irreversible?
• young person joining the workforce - thinking - what do I want to be/do... that the decision is?not permanent but rather one that can be recalibrated over time
• professional already in the workforce, who's wondering "what do I want to be when I grow up" that also is not a choice of permanence.?It's almost funny how many times I've had that same thought during my career (within the context of what?role is the right one to pursue next).?

I can't say exactly when?the pursuit?of skills and experiences - challenging myself in unfamiliar situations -?became?my focus,?vs?what should be?my?precise job or department, or set of responsibilities.?However, I'm certain that mindset led to my wife and I?living on?two continents, in three countries, and five cities over a?ten?year period.?A shift in how I looked at my career development reduced the self-imposed friction that otherwise might have limited the possibilities and opportunities.?I almost didn't pursue an MBA at Kellogg in 2005 until my wife pointed out it was mine and I should go for it!?I had a limiting belief?about?the practicality of traveling from Atlanta to Chicago every two weeks for almost 2 years.?Arguably, the travel and associated costs in money and time while excelling at a challenging role as a commercial finance manager was quite a hurdle - one that others would look at and say - "I don't know how you're doing that...".??Yet we took on the challenge - and I do mean WE.

Wrapping up, I suppose this post serves as a bit of a "check-in" for myself and anyone out there wondering how things are going.?Life is good and I can't wait to see what's next.?Happiness is a journey, not a destination...