Happiness Hack: Date Yourself

There’s a heavy feeling in the air right now. For some, it’s the election results; for many, it’s living in a world that feels full of division, insecurity, hate, and greed. We’re not being kind to each other. Or the planet. But I see something else emerging from the fear and sadness that so many are experiencing right now—a rising up- a calling not to give up on hope, not to give away our well-being, even if we’re frightened for our future: to not give up on ourselves. And a digging down into the depth of ourselves to discover new strength and clarity

What resonates deeply with me is the invitation to dig deep into our own humanity to find connection, wisdom, and a positive step forward, starting within ourselves. When things scare me, I often want to disappear, to go numb, to eat countless rounds of toast, to pull the duvet over my head, to disconnect from my body. It makes sense, right? That we’d want to move away from uncomfortable feelings. But disconnecting from myself isn’t a good long-term answer. When I’m separate from myself—not present, not listening to the deeper parts of my mind—I miss exactly what I need- stability, clarity, wisdom, and connection. If I want to be part of creating a world that has more love than hate, then I need to move through the discomfort and find the good feelings inside of me that can help me. If I want to create a loving world. I need a loving relationship with myself

How does dating yourself guide you back to yourself?

Many of us begin dating or start new relationships feeling alive and full of hope, only to watch that initial spark fade as we get caught up in expectations and old patterns. As resentment builds, we put on our “dating armor” and start “working” on the relationship, hoping it will fix things. But effort alone can’t foster true connection if we’re out of touch with what’s going on inside us, independent of other people. We have to start with ourselves. If the world feels like a stale loveless relationship turned toxic, and we don't feel connected to ourself- we need to start fresh.

Dating yourself means going back to the dating phase- the version of us that started out with curiosity, openness and willingness to experience new feelings. Going back to a brand new state of mind allows unhelpful, habitual thoughts to fall away, leaving space for clearer thoughts and hopeful feelings to emerge. This shift guides, nourishes, and reconnects us with our own well-being and offers us a new relationship with ourselves and the world.

Tips to Start "Dating" Yourself

Be Curious About What You Don’t Already Know – No one likes to be boxed in or judged, so why do we do it to ourselves? By staying open to learning new things about yourself, you'll uncover possibilities that may not have been visible before.

Self-Compassion – Treat yourself with the patience and kindness you would extend to someone you're just getting to know.

Respect Good Feelings – Feeling good is not irresponsible. Hope and Love are powerful states of mind to live in. Respecting the beautiful feelings inside you not only can have a huge impact on how you show up in the world, but also nurtures a deep relationship to your own loving nature and wellbeing.

Listen Deeply – Listen to yourself without judgment. Take time to sit with your thoughts and feelings, allowing them to reveal a quiet and powerful way forward.