Happiness - the golden dear.

What is happiness?

Happiness is an electrifying and elusive state of well being that encompasses living a good life with a sense of meaning and deep contentment.

Feeling positivism and fulfillment seem to benefit cardiovascular health, immune system, blood pressure, inflammation level. Happiness has been linked to longer lifespan as well as higher quality of life and well being.

Identify happy people.

It’s not like a label or sticker that can be attached on forehead as declaration. If you want to identify happy people, you need to watch some symptoms in human behavior, upfront attitude and interpersonal skills. According to psychology, happiness is a state of fulfillment and smile. So, you need to look for symptoms which can resonate with the statement. Such as,

1.      People with fewer expectations. A sense of fulfillment always affects their thought process so deeply that they can easily shut the sense of expectation from anything or anybody.

2.      People who are not spiteful or insulting. What we generally do in daily courses very often. We get ourselves engaged in unpleasant exchanges to make others convinced about our views whether it’s right or wrong.  We very often love to argue to establish our own opinion and in that process we don’t bother to use insulting languages or dialects. Happy people always avoid arguments because they prefer inner peace rather than temporary pride of winning a heated exchange.

3.      People with higher happiness quotient do not hold grudges of any gone moment. Grudges give birth of ill feelings which eventually disturb inner peace and mental equilibrium.

4.      People with better mental setup are open to learning. No matter how tiny the incident, substance or effect, they always try to discover new perspectives and incorporate those to own life style. One new lesson is equal to one added trait to betterment.

5.      Mindfulness is a big trait for happy people. As they never overdo or pretend to be superhuman, they have less mental load. Actually they never angst over yesterday or tomorrow. They are more focused with present moment. Due to less or zero expectation, they don’t need to carry forward tons of desires as well as setbacks.

6.      Happy people exercise self care. It does not mean they are selfish or self centred. They care for themselves especially their mindset and mood just by avoiding unwanted disturbances, over protecting self image and defending own logics in lieu of emotional harmony. They take care about their physique as well. A healthy anatomy is a best friend of any living organism. Standard metabolism and natural hormone secretion can keep health related tensions away and thus help the emotional well being to a great extent.

7.      Those are happy who feel for others without any vested interest. Who can think, plan and do for others without expecting any sort of return gift are called compassionate. They always give and receive with torment. Anything may happen, they never compromising in helping others. It does not mean they are plan less. Actually they are not stingy. In our life we very often come many incidents or situations which we can change for sometime. We usually don’t do that. Instead we start to calculate and analyze. By this practice we eventually increase irritation in our conscious mind and try to blame others for that situation.

8.      Our whole life can be described in 4 alphabets. A,B,C & D. A stands for individual, B for birth and €d for death. In between B and D there is another alphabet C. C stands for choice. How you chose to lead your life will decide the value of your existence. You need to discover or understand your “why” of life. What’s the purpose of your existence on this earth? Just to carry the load of raw flesh? Or to contribute from your part to make this earth a better place to live in? Choice is yours. Happy are those who thrive to explore “why”. They are always grateful to every situation, time and people. Their vision are too positive to be hold by any criticism or conspirator. So, be grateful to every moment if you want to be genuinely happy. Live your purpose, very tough though.

9.      Happy people have a very healthy support network. We all prefer like minded people. So, they are. And due to this energetic network they enjoy healthy relationships which has less expectation, more compassion, less selfishness more gratefulness, and less argument and more thought sharing. Don’t you wonder, how they can feel so! Because they have found their purpose. It’s not gaining wealth and lead a lavish life only, it’s a duty to give something back to entire world.

How to be happy?

To be happy with living, yu must be happy with yourself first. To accept yourself with all your inabilities.

“ When you love yourself, you understand that saying no to something you don’t want is an act of kindness. It keeps negative feelings away.”

Now you must be thinking how you can be happy with yourself! Is it so easy!! If that is so, why couldn’t you discover that so far?

Let’s check the process.

1.      Commit to do one nice thing for yourself everyday. Be it physical care, be it mental health, be it emotional intelligence. Every moment of living needs food. You have to supply food for mind also. And that’s healthy thought process. Take good care of health. Eat healthy, sleep tight. Don’t skip meals for any excuses. Breathing has a great effect on body and mind. Practice deep breathing. Inhale through nostrils and exhale though mouth. It can increase oxygen supply to lungs as well as can reduce tension to a great extent.

2.      Forgive yourself and accept as it is. Loving yourself means accepting that you are not stuck inside your imperfect skin. Nobody can do everything. So as you. Being incompetent in some fields does not mean you are good for nothing. Rather consider it as an eye opener and try to find hidden skills in your nature. Be intimate with yourself. Explore all possible corners where you never paid too much attention. Trust me, it’ll be a treasure hunt for you. And you’ll start feeling happy in this expedition. Listen to your inner critic. If you can forgive yourself for all mistakes you’ve been doing till date, you’ll feel less stressed and your guilt consciousness will decrease significantly. In this self sanitizing process, do one more thing for your mental health. Just identify and eliminate toxic people from your orbit. They always drag you to deeper frustration. So, disconnecting such companions will enhance the scope of mental freshness.

3.      Give yourself a welcoming space. It’s a trick to experience regular freshness. Be it study table, work space, drawing room, dining hall. Just rearrange things, covers, cushions, wall paintings etc. A new look can attract you more and placing things in new places will give you fair chances to memorize where to put the books and where the spoons. It’s an amazing practice to feel like a newcomer at your own home or office and eventually will reduce boredom.

4.      Express yourself to regular sunlight. It has two way benefit. One is physical benefit i.e. vitamin D synthesis rate increases with sunlight and another is emotional well being. Bright yellow light is antidepressant. You’ll feel mush relaxed in brightness and can minimize lots of small ill feelings which apparently have no material value except keeping irritation alive in your thought process. Find or try to find someone or something regularly that triggers a feeling of gratitude. It’s the ultimate source of happiness. Nobody is perfect as well as self made in this world. You’ve to learn continuously as long as you’re alive. Be genuinely grateful to every person or object that could make you learn something. You will fell less pressure in mind and can spread happy vibes to your surroundings.

5.      Slap a label to your negative thinking. Labeling your emotions can ease your sufferings. Attaching a label shifts activity from emotional part to thinking part of your brain making your comfortable and feel more in control.

6.      Sit up straight. Poor postures can cause negative emotional state. Studies show that people who slouch experience more bad mood, lower self esteem and poor confidence level. Actually others observing them in such postures also get the same impression.

7.      Make a journal of good habits and practices. Note down all small or big achievements. That should be a handbook of positivism only. Don’t forget to celebrate small achievements. This will give you more confidence on own decisions and strengths. You can gather more energy and make a new start as like as a fresh one.

8.      Find positive meaning of every negative event. It’s like analysis of cause and effect. Whatever incident can upset you by pointing your misjudgments can equally save you from living in misinterpretations.

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