Happiness is a decision, 5 techniques to increase it.

Given that happiness and sadness are nothing more than subjective appreciations of the reality we live in, we can say that happiness exists when we adapt to the life we choose. Therefore, we can say that unhappiness is nothing more than a lack of adaptation or the inability to deal with what happens to us.

We are clear that not all processes of stress and anxiety are harmful since they exist to prepare the body in case of risk or external attack. But since the reality we live in always happens in our minds, it is common for us to spice it up with fears that do not always have a reason to exist or to compare it with longings tainted with subjectivity. Thus, we fill our present existence with many situations that never happened and perhaps never will or memories tainted by our minds.

1 - Mens sana in corpore sano (a healthy mind in a healthy body)

One of the main reasons we are unhappy is the vehicle we travel in. This body is composed of all the sensors that feed data about the image of our reality. Therefore, if the body is not well, the data that arrives will be loaded with information about pain or lack of strength.

Exercise allows us to produce dopamine and oxytocin and improves our body’s structure by providing greater muscular support and preventing the joints from bearing the brunt of our actions.

Thus, "no pain" in the body is one of the variables that contribute to our happiness. Exercise also leads us to a place of conscious meditation that will always work in our favor.

2 - Carpe diem (seize the day)

The human mind has, among other responsibilities, the mission of maintaining our history since any alteration of it leads us to experience some despair. Each experience has a place in time, and trying to live in a moment that does not correspond to us results in significant stress.

Living in the past causes us to long for and distress ourselves, remembering and wanting to relive something that already happened; unfortunately, this cannot be done, and therefore, our brain will conflict with the timeline in which it lives. On the other hand, when we focus our lives on what has not yet happened, our minds become stressed since we produce scenarios that do not exist and may never exist, loaded with pain or sadness, giving our minds a considerable workload and causing anxiety.

The only moment that does not cost to live is the present, what surrounds us here and now, something we do not long for or foresee. In the present, we produce reality from the data that enters; in the other “times,” we produce scenarios from memory and, therefore, idealize them for better or worse.

Therefore, the path is to learn to recognize when we put our minds and discard any thoughts that are not from the present. Closing your eyes and saying aloud, “This is past” or “This has not happened yet,” seems to be one of our best tools. Remember Confucius’s words, "Today is the tomorrow that yesterday worried you so much."

3 - Positivum cogitandi (positivity)

Just as with time, the meaning we give to what happens to us will determine whether we will have a good or bad time. Positive thinking is our tool to provide color to events. Making our present happy depends on the conscious decision we make. That decision will be composed of experiences, memories, past experiences, and expectations based on what you expect from the future.

Although the mathematics of this is simple, since we speak only of what adds or subtracts, we need to say that it depends absolutely on our conscious mind, that we are the ones who decide subjectively whether something will cause us happiness, terror, or displeasure. You need to understand that better or worse are qualifying adjectives; that is, we use them in a way in which we unconsciously compare moments, trying to know if they are good or bad.

The answer lies in the same process. While we compare, we forget that happiness is not a result; happiness is in “deciding” to make each moment good and learning to enjoy the journey.

4 - Divitiae bonum non sunt (material wealth is not everything)

The society in which we live has tried to make us believe that belongings can bring us happiness, but in reality, this happens if and only if we decide that this object will bring us joy. Assigning joy to the possession of objects or people to whom we are objectifying and imbuing with the power to affect our ability to enjoy life is a conscious decision that has nothing to do with the object or the person itself.

The idea that wealth is related to happiness comes from eras of famine, from moments when we lacked something that caused us harm. Once we cover the basic needs, we go for more, just in case or because we decide to fall into the endless game of having.

The solution is again on our side, in a conscious decision, in understanding that happiness lies in being, that it does not matter what you have or who you surround yourself with if you do not embrace your own existence. Remember that, finally, you are the one who renders this reality, that you own the palette of colors, and that these can be as clear or as dark as you decide.

5 - Per viam (Purpose)

One of the most straightforward paths to happiness is the firm decision to achieve a particular end. Thus, each milestone achieved on our way to our purpose will give us moments of joy and the possibility of deceiving ourselves until we understand that happiness lies in the ability to enjoy our path since the milestones last only moments, and the path is eternal.

The purpose is not there for us to live anxiously waiting for it, but as a guide, a point in space and time that we wish to reach, as a way to adhere to the sequence of steps that require us to learn about the path we have chosen or that we face.

We aspire to achieve happiness without any purpose since the goal is to understand that the path we take does not matter; what matters is how we take it. But until we learn this, having a purpose is like putting "training wheels" on our joy. A purpose, a series of milestones to conclude, so that we learn to enjoy the now by embracing our being and recognizing that we are more than the past and the future, that we are the owners of that moment when things happen and the only ones who can decide how we are going to feel about them.

Conclusion

You are the one who decides how you live and how you feel, who determines the value of your experiences, who enjoys or suffers what you are experiencing in the here and now; you are exactly in the place of this existence where you choose to be. Otherwise, you would make changes.

Author: Fabian Mesaglio