Happily Ever After?

As kids, we were told a lovely story: get a job, find the right partner, have a few kids, buy a house, and live “happily ever after,” riding into the sunset. Sounds simple, right? But real life doesn’t follow that neat script. There's always a better job, a shinier car, a bigger house just around the corner, tempting us to believe this is the key to happiness.

But here’s the twist: we never quite arrive at that fairytale ending. Why? Because we’re all on the "hedonist treadmill"—always chasing, but never catching.

The Great “I’ll Be Happy When…”

It usually goes like this: I’ll be happy when I get that promotion. I’ll be happy when I buy that house. But the catch is that as soon as we achieve one goal, another takes its place. We’re conditioned to think happiness is at the next milestone.

Think about it. Have you ever reached a life milestone—like landing your dream job or buying that new car—only to find the excitement fades faster than expected? Soon enough, you're back to chasing the next big thing. It’s like trying to catch the horizon—it always moves just out of reach.

Take me, for example. In my career, each promotion consumed my thoughts for months. I obsessed over the title, the new responsibilities, and the bigger paycheck. But the moment I achieved it, my "happiness index" crashed, and I found myself eyeing the next one. Sounds familiar?

The same goes for that fancy car or motorcycle (in my case). Sure, the first few drives feel exhilarating, but after a few weeks, it becomes just another vehicle in the driveway. The sparkle of achievement fades. The cycle repeats, but happiness always seems a little beyond our grasp.

The Hedonist Treadmill: Running in Place

This endless chase is known as hedonic adaptation, or the "hedonist treadmill." We quickly adapt to new circumstances—whether it’s an achievement, a shiny toy, or a change in status. The initial joy fades, and they become part of the new normal. We think we’re moving forward, but we’re just running in the same place.

It’s like being on vacation. Picture yourself on a beautiful beach, feeling the warmth of the sun and the sand between your toes. By day three, though, your mind wanders back to work. We adapt quickly, and the magic fades.

There’s No “Happily Ever After”

Fairytales are great, but they forgot one thing: life keeps going. There’s no final chapter, no ultimate happy ending where everything is perfect forever. Instead of waiting for happiness to magically appear at the end of a distant goal, we need to start noticing it right now. While we chase the next "I’ll be happy when…," we miss the joy happening around us every day.?

Rewriting the Script: Happiness in the Here and Now

What if we stopped waiting for happiness and started inviting it into the present? Instead of saying I’ll be happy when…, how about I’m happy now, while I’m working toward X (my goal)? ?Life doesn’t have to be a race from one achievement to the next; it can be a collection of joyful moments we savour along the way.

That first sip of coffee in the morning? A burst of joy. A silly moment with your kids followed by endless giggles? That’s happiness right there. The key is to notice these moments instead of rushing through them.

Hit Pause, Take a Breath

Is it possible to step off the treadmill? Maybe not entirely, but we can definitely slow it down. Here are some ideas to help savour life’s little joys:

• Savour the small stuff: Pay attention to the little things that bring joy—like that perfect cup of coffee or a lazy Sunday morning.
• Practice gratitude: Make a habit of noticing what’s already good in your life.
• Catch yourself: Next time you say, "I’ll be happy when…," pause and ask, "Why not be happy now?"?

A Fairytale Worth Rewriting

So, the next time you chase that elusive “happily ever after,” remember: happiness isn’t a prize at the end of a finish line. It’s created moment by moment. It’s not hiding in some distant future—it’s right here, waiting for you to take notice.

We have the power to rewrite the fairytale. Instead of chasing the next milestone, we can cherish the moments that make up our lives. The coolness of the breeze, the joy of a shared smile, a moment of love —happiness isn’t a destination; it’s the journey itself.

So, stop chasing the horizon and start finding joy in the here and now. You don’t need to rewrite your life for a perfect ending—just start living the happiness that’s already here.

"Happiness is not a goal; it is a by-product of a life well-lived." — Eleanor Roosevelt?

Further Reading and Resources:

• Books: The Happiness Project by Gretchen Rubin – A personal journey into finding happiness in everyday life.
• The Art of Happiness by His Holiness the Dalai Lama and Howard Cutler – A blend of Buddhist wisdom and modern psychology on happiness.