Hanukkah Light in the Darkness - Day 3

We need more light in the darkness.

The following essays are my inner thoughts in these dark days, published for the celebration of Hanukkah, the holiday we, Jewish people, celebrate for the past 2187 years (yes, in 164 BCE the Jewish people, in the Land of Israel, also known as Zion, were able to yet again have their religion freedom in the temple).

Day 3 - The loss of innocence

How many of us remember the time when we grew up, and realized life is different from what we expected growing up? Being young and protected, with childhood dreams, and so many options for us to explore. The world was our playing ground, and we thought we could do anything and everything.

And then we grew up.?

Most of us at least. We had responsibilities. We had to pay the bills. Some of us lost loved ones. Some were betrayed. We learned new things about the world. We met new people. We expanded our horizons, and with that, our childhood vision and dreams became smaller. The things that looked big and frightening when we were young took their real size and were possible to face. But we also became aware of new visions and dreams.?

Do you remember a point in your life when you realized you are not a child any more? That you grew and lost some of your innocence?

I remember. And it only happened two months ago.?

The days before October 7 I was one person, and since then, I am a different person. My personal hopes and dreams, my beliefs and aspirations had mostly stayed the same. The thing that changed mainly, was the heartbreaking realization that the Holocaust can happen again. And not just to any nation, but specifically to my own people. To my family. To myself.

I grew up on the Holocaust memory. I’ve read books, learned history, watched documentaries and dramatic recreations. I’ve visited museums, researched my lost family members, and taught my daughters. I commemorated every year, and sent my girls to a Poland trip where they visited the camps. I talked with survivors, and heard heartbreaking stories.

The common thread throughout it all was this: it happened to them. It will never happen again. It was in black-and-white, in the old days. It was not possible to happen again in the modern world. Our societies are beyond that. We have all learned from that, and there is no chance anyone will give their hand to something like that again, not to mention create a state-driven machine that will actually do it.

On October 7, and more specifically on the following days that brought the world reaction to October 7, I felt I woke up to a nightmare, one that happened in the streets of Germany and neighbouring countries in the 1930s. One that preceded the Holocaust, but this time was in full colours.

And the antisemitism came close to home. It was not remote anymore. It was in the universities my daughters attend. It was on the buildings walls. It was on every social media page I visited. It was directed at my friends. It came from the media. It came from the world organizations that we all thought are neutral nd protect every person in the world, including the Jews.

Even with the existence of Israel, with it’s main premise to protect Jewish people so the Holocaust could never happen again, and with the accessibility to information in real time with the Internet and social media everywhere and in the hands of everyone - we are seeing that human nature overrides everything, and the human nature of the world is still filled with antisemitism, still wants to eradicate of the Jews. Eradicate my friends and family. Eradicate me.

I’ve not been the same since. I lost my innocence.

And I don’t know yet what to do with it. I am looking for the light.