‘Hannah Cornelius Should have been here’
Published to Netwerk24, 6 May 2019: https://www.netwerk24.com/Stemme/Die-Student/hannah-cornelius-should-have-been-here-20190506
It has been two years since the early morning of 27 May 2017 when my fellow Matie student Hannah Cornelius was raped and killed. I’ve read lots of murder and rape stories, but this one still affects me deeply. As a Stellenbosch student, there are many faces that pass by in a day on the university campus – but I often remember that there is one face missing. There is one life that should have been here with us, yet it was taken for no reason: Hannah Cornelius.
I am aware that murders, even in Stellenbosch alone have occurred to others without making news headlines. The months after Hannah’s murder, however, unexpectedly became a dark time in my life. I became depressed around June due to many factors – I only realised during therapy that what happened to Hannah and her friend Cheslin contributed significantly to the despair I experienced during this time. It has surprised me how often I remember Hannah even now- two years later.
The ‘what if’ question is one I have considered countless times when recalling the odds of what occurred on 27 May. It was largely chance and not premeditated murder. What if she had dropped her friend Cheslin two hours earlier? What if they decided to take a ‘rain check’ on going out that night?
Another part of the pain is also how close the incident was to my home. I used to live 550m from Noveau, the apartment where Hannah’s car was taken. In my first year of University in 2016, Hannah was in my English Tutorial class. On Friday 19 May, we sat next to each other at a hairdressing school in Stellenbosch Central. We both helped as models for hairdressers-in-training – a week later she was killed.
It has struck me time and time again that what happened to Hannah could have easily happened to me. I have walked the roads of Stellenbosch at inconceivable hours. I have made the same mistake and sat outside a friend’s house after dropping him. Hannah behaved in a way that was no different to this. She did not survive.
The rape and murder of Hannah is a tragedy that has deeply wounded my trust in humanity. I cannot reconcile what God was doing while Hannah endured multiple rapes, a screwdriver to the neck and two fatal blows to the head with a rock. I was horrified to discover a Facebook account with the name of Geraldo Parsons (one of the gang members guilty of her rape and murder). Parsons is in prison serving a life sentence, yet the Facebook account was reactiviated in January 2019 and describes what Parsons thinks of himself: “A kind & loving person just 2 my wife 2 be”. So, this is justice? As a political science graduate I am driven by justice - prison doesn’t feel like enough for these beasts.
A final part of my pain is knowing that Hannah should have been at Stellenbosch University for longer, or maybe entering the world of work by now. That pain was very tangible in December of 2018, when I graduated with hundreds of fellow Maties in the Coetzenburg Stadium. I constantly thought that Hannah should have graduated with us. She would have been a BA student with hopes and prospects for her future, just like us. I may never have spoken to her or got to know her, but she would have been with us in Stellenbosch. I would have seen her on campus and suspected strongly that she had opinions, a love of nature, a confidence and an open heart and mind.
Hannah hoped, like most of us, to attend more lectures, write more tests, meet more people and fall in love and out of love. But time ran out to have more conversations, make mistakes or help more students at the hairdressing school. Or to go out with her friends again, fail a test or get a distinction. I have done all of those things.
I wish I could tell Hannah that my heart aches when I see her face in pictures and on news websites. I want her to know that every time I see a blue golf with white at the bottom like the one she drove – I think of the hell that she endured inside it and her final moments. When I drive past Bird street I remember that at one point it was dark, and no one was around when her car stopped there.
I barely knew Hannah, but I now know in a very tangible way how precious life is; and how suddenly it can be snatched away. When I picture her in heaven as an angel I have a message for her: Hannah, I carry the memory of you in my mind more often than I expected. We will never forget the horror of the random cruelty you endured. The pain and injustice of our loss leaves us with the begging question - why it had to be you?