Hang on, your invoice is being processed

It’s the last working day of the month, and I’ve got only one thing left on my to-do list for the day – sending invoices. I proceed to fill it out carefully, cross-check the amount a few times, convert the document to a PDF, and hit send. Done. Now all I have to do is wait for my fees to be processed – how long could that possibly take?

Okay, it’s been two months. The campaign we had pitched to the client has been executed to the T, and still, there’s no sign of our fees. Of course, the client – let’s call him Sharma ji, shall we? – isn’t ignoring me. He responds to my emails… occasionally. He assures me that the process is well underway, and my invoice would be processed shortly. I always wonder what goes on in the so called 'payment processing' activity. Here's a recent dream that I had about what must be going on behind the scenes.

The email with my invoice first lands in Sharma ji’s inbox, where it sits – unread – for at least five working days. No, it’s not because the otherwise overeager client is now unconcerned after the completion of the campaign. Pfft, of course, he still cares. He’s just overwhelmed due to the success of the campaign we crafted for him. His inbox is filled with congratulatory messages from his colleagues and bosses – he’s even in line for a promotion! But he’s a man of his words. He will always give credit where it’s due, and so, after one week and several reminder messages from me, he forwards my invoice to the finance team, with the subject: URGENT.

Ms. Patel is a part of the finance team, and she takes her job very seriously. In fact, the element of her job that she devotes most of her time to is going through invoices. An ordinary professional would spend an average of five to ten minutes to study and forward an invoice to their boss. But not her. You see, Ms. Patel is a Sherlock Holmes fan. And as a rule, she investigates every detail of the document before sending it through – even if it takes weeks out of her valued time. She goes through the work submitted with a fine comb and apart from that just for kicks she does background checks on every member of the agency, browsing through their social media for clues. Ms Patel has now stalked my Instagram profile as well by this time. And only when she’s fully convinced that the document and all the parties associated with it are innocent, she sends the email to her boss, John sir.

You should know something about John sir. He cares very deeply for his employees, and even more so for his creative agencies. As a boss, his job is not simply to manage his teams, guide them when they falter, and at the end of the month, pay their salaries. It’s also to teach them life lessons and prepare them for the worst. And for this purpose, he purposely delays signing off on salaries and invoices for as long as possible. It may sound counterproductive, but he has a fool-proof theory. Just hear him out, guys. He believes that today’s world has learned to live in surplus. And to correct this lifestyle, he’s doing his little bit. By holding off on paying people for months altogether, he’s teaching them to survive with lesser than they think they need (or deserve). It may be a small step, but surely, Sir John’s minimalism tactics will one day save Planet Earth.

After two months, when John sir has finally approved the invoice, all that’s left to do is send the communication to the bank. That can’t take long, right? It turns out that Ms. Patel has already typed out the email, and just as she’s about to send it, her laptop screen goes blank.

In fact, the entire office is dark. Power cut, shit.

Two days later, I receive an email from Sharma ji, stating that their company has lost its entire database to an unexpected blackout.

He asks if I can send him a fresh invoice.