"Hang On, Help Is On It's Way".

This catchy tune from the Little River Band is one that I enjoyed listening to in the late 1970s, but I never took too much notice of the lyrics. Today, I believe the lyrics are more important than ever before, although I would change a couple of words. Let's look at the first few lines of that song.

"Why are you in so much hurry?" Is it not true that the dynamic world in which we now live has caused us to move much faster than previously. We seem to be in a continual race to try to get to the end, the end which is never there. Slow is smooth, smooth is fast. Life is a marathon, and while we do still have to run a marathon if we are to achieve our goals, we don't need to run as fast as we would if we were in a sprint.

"Is it really worth the worry?" Worry comes from fear and fear is what keeps us safe, but with our hurried behaviour our fears (worries) have increased significantly. Type 2 stress is detrimental to our wellbeing and is described as chronic worry, the definition of anxiety is worrying thoughts. We do need some worry to keep ourselves safe, however we do not need to worry as much as we once needed to.

"Look around, then slow down." Perfect. To bring ourselves back to the moment, every so often lift your head up, look around you, take a long deep breath, and off you go again. Small rechecks across our day will keep us in the moment, in life.

"What's it like inside the bubble?" Wow, how prophetic a line for this current Covid-filled world that we live in, we are all safe if we stay in our personal bubble. But that's not the bubble they sing about, the reference is about the bubble inside of our heads, our mind. How often do you stop to think about what you are thinking about? If we allow our thoughts to wander they will always end in a negative thought.

"Does your head ever give you trouble? Whose head isn't giving them trouble at the moment. Perhaps you are feeling a little shaky or wobbly, maybe feeling fragile or even vulnerable, a lack of certainty perhaps. Life is never a straight line, it is filled with ups and downs, twists and turns. Learning to adapt to these changes is how we can maintain our wellbeing.

"It's no sin, trade it in." We must get on top of our worries as soon as possible. It's not a sign of weakness to change our path, to not achieve, to apologise, to ask for help. Its certainly not a sin, it's a sign, a sign of true strength.

"Hang on, help is on its way" In the work that I do, this is one word of the song I would change, replace 'Hang' with 'Hold'. It might be a personal thing, but for me, telling someone who is suicidal to 'hang on' is not the right word. I recall at the end of a long suicide intervention I asked the person to "Jump down" off the ledge of the bridge to my side and they stopped and looked over the high side, my heart sank. They were making a small joke to lighten the moment, a joke I shall never forget.

"I'll be there as fast as I can" It is often difficult to get help, long-term. Despite the many wonderful agencies able to offer immediate support, getting longer term support can be a challenge. It's the long-term help that we all need after being in the mire and it is very important to know that people do care about you. They are most likely swamped. We are here, we want to help, and we will help. If we don't get back to you soon enough, try someone else. Someone is definitely here for you long-term.

"Hang on, a tiny voice did say" That voice inside of our head that keeps us inline, the internal narrative, designed to keep us safe. That voice that often seems so real, the one that comforted us as a child but has now turned on us. It seems so real, that voice, it sounds like it wants to help because it is no longer our voice. It's so strong now, so certain.

It's NOT real. It is nothing more than yourself, talking to yourself, about yourself. But, if it tells you to HOLD on, listen to it.

"From somewhere deep inside the inner man." And inner woman I might suggest, "inside the inner human" might be better. Deep inside of us is our true self, inside of our heart, the real you, the one who cares deeply about you. That's your true self. Listen to your heart and hold on to what you love so dearly. Keep returning to it when your mind wanders.

And so the song goes on. Then comes the real solution to our personal inner turmoil - "Don't you forget who'll take care of you, it don't matter what you do, form a duet, let him (them) sing melody, you'll provide the harmony."

It doesn't matter what you have done, we all make mistakes. Nor does it matter what you are worried about for we all have worries. The best way to deal with life's issues is to talk about them with others. It's not a shame to do so, it's not a sin, it's courageous to talk openly about whatever is troubling us. Each of us is limited to our own experiences therefore we may not find the solution to resolve our worries within our own library of reference material, we must externalise our worry to find an answer in an athenaeum.

Hold on, that tiny voice did say, somewhere deep inside is our true self. Things can change, they do change, they will change. Hold on, help is on its way, we just might have to look a bit harder to find help. Hold on, help is inside of us all. Our true self, our spiritual self, our inner strength. Our heart. The heart will always overcome the brain when the brain has gone astray.

When conducting a suicide intervention, we always ask the person what has kept them going, the hook we call it. The hook is always linked to the heart.

We are all better than we think we are and we are all stronger than we think we are. We, together, form an even stronger self. Hold on, reach out, we are here for you.

Let's talk!

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Lance, a former police crisis negotiator and personnel development manager, now provides enhanced communication, safety management, and personal resilience support to businesses across all industries; https://www.warninternational.com/ 

Lance is the author of Behind The Tape - https://www.amazon.com/Behind-Tape-Gripping-real-life-negotiator-ebook/dp/B01EH172QC and has created a series of eLearning courses.