A Handy Guide on How Not to Manage Perception in the workplace - Reflections of a Professional.

I had a conversation with my father earlier this week, where I mentioned in passing that a colleague asked me how I make time for writing.

My father, a proponent of erring on the side of caution, said in response;

You should be careful. Maybe you should post only on the weekends so as not to give the wrong impression, he suggested.

I bristled at this and immediately started to argue my case.?

You see Reader, I started writing short pieces to share with friends and acquaintances nearly a decade ago. In earlier years, there were periods where I would write and share posts every single day. As a result of this practice, my turnaround process now as it pertains to the writing itself is incredibly fast.

Do they know that? My father asked.

‘Isn’t what I do outside work hours up to me?’ I countered. Instinctively, balking at the idea of restricting myself because of what other people may think.

As long as it’s clear it is outside work hours. He stated.

I thought about this line of conversation after the call ended. My father is more cautious than me but when all is said and done, the rationale behind my his suggestion is one I strongly agree with.

Perception matters in the workplace.

It can determine the options and opportunities available to a person and influence the nature, quality and impact of interactions and relationships at work.

Examples of perception at play at work could be a:

‘I don’t think this person is ready for a promotion.’

‘I think this person would be a great fit in your team’

Perception, positive or negative, is a different thing from feedback. Perception speaks more to who a person is believed or seen to be, while feedback addresses a particular action, a behaviour and the resulting impact.

Perception matters in the workplace, because work is very much a ‘people’ affair.

I believe one of my roles in orchestrating my career is being aware and managing the perception others have of me. For me, it is about ensuring others’ perception of me is close as possible to who I am (emphasis) and what I can do. Accordingly, I am not an advocate of wilful deceit, manipulation, ‘playing games’ or other such things some might associate with the concept of managing perception.

In line with the above, managing perception is not being liked or getting people to like us. Being aware of and managing perception at work and in a broader professional sense is about being seen ‘correctly’: for who one is and what one can do in the relevant professional context.

The catch with perception is that it is subjective. It is just as dependent on us, our behaviours and actions as it is on the ‘perceptee’s’ interpretation of us, our behaviours and actions. As a result, there might be for example an instance where another person’s perception of me does not align with ‘who I am’,

The first question I will then have to ask myself is to what extent does this person’s perception of me hold weight for me or my ability to successfully perform my role/the task at hand/in general my career trajectory?

Perhaps a controversial opinion, but I do not believe everyone’s perception of us should hold equal weight to us.

A subsequent question depending on my answer to the first question would then be, what is in my power to do to bridge the gap?

To reiterate, this is not the same thing as ‘how can I get someone to like me?’.

An output of managing perception i.e. being seen correctly for who we are might very well be likeability but it’s not the driver.

I think a lot ?about the impact of sharing my writing on how I am perceived, as a person and as a professional. I am after all, using my own hands to create room, that would not be there otherwise, for an audience (many of who I do not interact with in person regularly) to form an opinion of me that is largely based on their interpretation of the words I have written. I try to be as clear as possible with my words, particularly with stating what I do not mean to reduce the likelihood of being misconstrued. However, there is only so much I can manage because perception is subjective. It is just as dependent on my words as it is on the perceptee’s interpretation of my words.

This agonising about how I am perceived also extends itself how I am/present at work. My personality is jovial and this means I am quick to laughter and jokes. ‘You bring good energy’ is something people often say, yet I often worry.

Should I laugh less? Should I joke less? Should I be more buttoned up?

These concerns while they may seem trivial do not feel that way to me because they tap into something that hits very close to home on something that matters to me.

Success.

Career success, how I define it for myself, is something I consider a non-negotiable in my life. I am constantly working to attain experiences and achieve milestones sometimes years out, that put me on the path towards the vision I have for my life. I am determined not to get in my own way, I sometimes say.

I often wonder, is my self- expression inadvertently me getting in my own way? I am lucky to be in a work environment where ‘being myself’ is a positive experience for me and others (ha). Beyond that, sharing my writing has brought a lot of good my way; in terms of people, connections and opportunities. I think about the messages I receive from people; and I am often flabbergasted. There is the fact that I default into ‘robot malfunctioning mode’ when my manager references my writing in conversation, but let's ignore that. My natural self-expression; be it in writing or just being myself (personality wise) has brought a lot of good my way. However, there is a little voice that wonders if I am being na?ve and short sighted.

The current landscape of leadership in the corporate environment seems to look and sound a particular way. This is my perception, informed by what I see many at the top of the ladder are like, how they present if you will. If truly there is some sort of mould, to what extent will it be a blocker for my continued career success if I do not attempt fit into it?

I can’t help but think that when even I see leaders start to break out of ‘the mould’, it seems they do so only after getting to a certain level in their career.

Will it in the future, be to my detriment, that I am someone who ‘puts themselves out there’? Or worse, is it even currently to my detriment and I am blissfully unaware?

Between you and me, I am very afraid that I could lose out on a ‘dream opportunity’ because somebody out there reads something I have written and forms a perception of me that leads them to make the decision that ‘we can’t have someone like this in our team or organisation’.

It is all well and good to think, ‘Well I do not know if I would want to be in such a team or organisation anyway’ but I suspect that deep down, I do not really believe that. The truth is today, I think to myself that there are some opportunities for which I will be willing to give up certain parts of myself.

As I write this, there is a part of me that thinks this is sad. Yet, there is another part of me that thinks ‘who I am’ is not a rigid thing. I can be my ‘authentic self’ and present in many different ways depending on context. Therefore, a choice to make the parts of me, that ‘go against the grain’, less visible or accessible is only me adapting to the current landscape/what is required of me. Right?

Because career success matters so much to me and I know perception has an influence on that, do I play it safe and act in ways that eliminates any risk of being misconstrued as not fitting in the mould? Or do I dare allow myself to be perceived and hope that with my due diligence others’ interpretation of my words is aligned with ‘who I am’ as a person and a professional?

Ultimately, I end up asking myself, what is at stake?

Success or self-expression?

There is a part of me that questions my own hypothesis. Is it really one or the other? And in the worst case scenario that it is, do I dare chart my own course as a leader towards success?

Who do I want to be?

I am afraid to answer this question because I worry that my answer could very well be;

‘I want to be successful, so I will bend and twist myself into whatever shape is necessary to achieve that.’

An easier question for me to answer is, who am I?

I am a person, a professional with an abundance in me to pull out from. I am a leader whose seeks to affirm others in their skills and talent. I like to make people feel good, and this often involves a lot of laughter. I try to do this with integrity; never giving praise or compliments I do not mean. Moments of connection tap into something deep within me. I am a professional who asks to be held to the highest standard of performance. I do not want to feel too comfortable, to ever get complacent in my role. I am person, a professional who does things afraid, because there is a bigger goal in sight. I am a person who balks at the idea of making myself smaller. I am person who is astute. I am a professional who wants to do hard and impressive things on their career journey and enjoy it. I think I am a star and in the same breathe I can shine the spotlight on my weaknesses. I deeply value the trappings of traditional career success. I am committed to discovering what leadership at its’ very best looks like as me. I am driven by a personal and career vision that is bigger than me.

I think the question I really need to answer for myself is not who do I want to be, but do I want to be who I am?

Reader, I cannot and do not want to let go of having a successful career in the multitude of ways I define it. However, agonising is a burden my shoulders no longer wants to bear and so I have to make a choice.

In writing this, I force myself to make a choice and commit to it.

I think of how much more my choice requires of me.

I choose to continue to hold on tightly to my dreams and my ambitions, tighter even.

I dare. I choose to shine, and let go of the agonising.

This does not mean that because I am a person who laughs a lot, I will insist on laughing and cracking jokes everywhere. Nor does it mean that because I am an open person who shares their thoughts, I will insist on always sharing said thoughts in whatever context I am in. Afterall, who I am is not a rigid monolith.

It is simply accepting and being okay with the fact that maybe who I am, is someone a little bit different and special. ?My responsibility to this maybe a bit different and special person is to be a steward. To focus my energy on tapping deeper into the abundance that is in her; the resourcefulness, the perceptiveness, the adaptability and surrounds her; the trust, the goodwill to achieve what she has set her heart on.

Perception matters in the workplace and there is no way around it.

However, in ensuring others’ perception of me is close as possible to who I am, I too need to know, accept and embrace who I am, and out of that deep self- assuredness, continue to show all I can do.