Handling Conversation Domination

Conversation domination is a common barrier to innovation, collaboration and ideation.

When a few people take up all the air time, it blocks other team members contributions, reducing the diversity of ideas, opinions and inputs. This in turn reduces knowledge sharing, learning, growth and creativity.

But it also harms people's subjective experience at work.

It negatively affects the ability to produce quality outputs and when left unchecked, can lead to apathy - the belief that if my voice doesn't matter, why bother contributing?

In Unspoken: A Rhetoric of Silence, author Cheryl Glenn equates the experience of silencing to a feeling of deprivation. She says when someone has something to say and they are cut off from the possibility of speaking, the feeling of deprivation is experienced in the body.

Carol Gilligan says:

“To have a voice is to be human. To have something to say is to be a person.”

Blocking voice through conversation domination (or any other way), has consequences than run deeper in the psyche than simply creating a source of frustration, anger and regret.

And yet very few people proactively manage conversation domination when it occurs.

In a polled in LinkedIn last year I asked if people would interrupt someone who was dominating a meeting and 65% said no.

While we don't like listening to a few voices drone on and on, we're also not likely to take any action to manage it.

To help, here are five ideas that may be useful next time you're in a meeting, or running one, where a few voices are dominating the air time:

1. Interrupt with grace. Acknowledge the person speaking and thank them for their contribution then use a phrase to bridge to the importance of allowing others to speak e.g. "Thank you for your contribution - let's now hear from Lucy".
2. Set expectations at the start. If you're the meeting facilitator, let attendees know you're expecting to hear from a variety of voices.
3. Invite people to contribute. Ask a question such as "Jane - would you like to add anything to that point?"
4. Advocate for others. When you know your colleague or team member has expertise on a topic, or an opinion to share, but they're not getting a word in, interupt on their behalf. Try something like 'excuse me John, I know Sarah has an interesting perspective on this - Sarah, would you like to add anything?"
5. Create a time limit. If you're looking to hear from everyone, let them know they have 1 minute to share. This provides a framework to help you keep things moving.

Creating the conditions for people to speak when they have something to say indicates all voices are valued - and that's good for business!

If you'd like to learn more about How to Handle Conversation Domination, register for my upcoming session on 22 November here.

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Sharon Natoli is the author of Why Smart Women Don't Speak Up (coming in 2024). She works with leaders and teams to create the conditions enabling all voices be heard. Contact [email protected]