Handling Conflict In A Family Business

Recently, we had the opportunity to speak at a major family business conference. While it was a privilege to speak there, it was also a great learning experience to see what these family enterprises are dealing with. It also reinforced the work we do with first-generation family businesses.

You see, these family enterprises are multiple-generation businesses with direct and extended family working there. With that come layers of complexities you don't see in most companies. So it's important to lay a solid foundation of how you operate from the beginning.

In these next few articles, I'm going to pass along some of the learnings we took away from the conference which will hopefully help you as you build your family enterprise.

And since this week is Thanksgiving, conflict seems like the best place to start.

What could go better with some turkey, stuffing, gravy, cranberries, and pumpkin pie than a little sprinkle of conflict?

Can We Still Meet For Thanksgiving?

One of the family business speakers told a story of how he and his brother wanted to be bought out of the family business they were running with their oldest brother. - Let's call them the "Madisons."?

If you've ever been part of these buyout situations, it can get messy. Especially when the family is involved and it's a nine-figure business.

But their number one rule?was that they would make this decision as long as they could still meet for Thanksgiving...and continue to play golf.

In other words, family first and business second.

Types of Conflict

A buyout situation is one type of conflict that can come up in running a family business but here are some other interesting ones.

1.?Needing to share some constructive criticism with your spouse

2. Family or?friend?wants a job

3. Needing to let a family or friend go

4. Pretty much any disagreement

Invest Into The Relationship

All of the above can be sticky situations and it can be a challenge to figure out the best way to handle them. But the key to managing conflict well starts before it even happens.

The buyout situation with the Madisons I mentioned in the beginning, went as smoothly as one could possibly imagine.?All three of the brothers wanted the best for each other.

The audience was in amazement and the family business table I was seated at mumbled, "That wouldn't happen in our family."? Were these brothers born freakishly agreeable?

No, their dad set the tone and culture of the family business early on. Here are a few tips that can be helpful.

1. Communicate - Part of their communication strategy was establishing a no-gossip rule. This was for family members?and the entire organization. Nothing can undermine relationships and company culture more than gossip.
2. Relationship - Invest in the relationship outside of work. It's easy to take each other for granted. Especially when you work together. Just because you work together doesn't mean you're connecting on a personal level.?So weekly lunches with the brothers were essential.
3. Praise - Whether you're working with your spouse or other family member, the communication?tends to be mainly around what needs to be done or fixed. Being intentional about acknowledging what the other has done well on a frequent basis goes a long way.?
4. Boundaries - It's easy to take a business issue personally. So be clear on what is business vs personal.?

Conflict tends to get heated out of years of pent-up frustration. So investing in relationships pays relational dividends that will be a gift for years to come. It's also good for business.

Be like the Madisons.

Since these tips are proactive, it may be too late to help this Thanksgiving gathering. But maybe start to institute these practices this year for a better year and Thanksgiving in 2024.

Happy Thanksgiving!!

Robert Fukui

P.S.?If you want to pick our brains, feel free to?book a complimentary discovery call ?We’d be happy to help you win in marriage and business.

Biography:?Robert and his wife Kay Lee run a consulting business that assists entrepreneur couples to create better balance in life and business. If you need a roadmap for greater work-life balance, buy their newly released book,?Tandem: ?The married entrepreneurs' guide for greater work-life balance.