Halloween Shocker - Your bank really cannot be asked to stop scammers

We all know about Fraud, theft, money laundry, GDPR don’t we???… well think again – Because the banks are about as “Hard” as a soggy baguette…

Down the pub - Would you accept this?

“Hello Mort, lend me a tenner, I’ll pay you back tomorrow”

I dutifully lend him it, he goes to the bar and buys then knocks back a beer or two.

The next day you go and ask for the money back – “Sorry I’m skint”.

The next day you see him drinking away, splashing out the cash.

“Can I get my tenner back please?”

“No sorry, I’ve spent your money, this has come from someone else.”

To your Bank it is totally reasonable!

This is exactly how my Bank went about retrieving a few quid I stupidly sent by bank transfer to a scammer – I admit was (and am) stupid but the experience and response is even more maddening...

My Bank was sympathetic and told me they would contact the other bank.

I heard nothing for 3 days so rang them.

After multiple security repeat questions and begging to speak to the fraud department, here is a summary of the conversations:

Bank: “We rang them, there were no funds in the account – The case is closed”

Me: “Can you ring them again?”

Bank: “No, your money has been spent”

Me: “But won’t they might have more money there tomorrow or the next day”

Bank: “Possibly but that’s someone else’s money”

Me: “Is this candid camera, are you having a laugh”

Bank: “No all banks do this, the FCA set the rules not us”

FCA: “Nonsense - Banks have a duty of care to their customers, the FCA has nothing to do with this – Here are the direct numbers of chief executive officers departments of both banks to complain. Try the BBA too.” - Full marks to the FCA...

I complained to both CEO offices - they both promised to get back in 8 weeks. I am sure the scammer will be losing sleep and will have changed his behaviour in the meantime.

I also rang the BBA – I have been on hold for 3 weeks now.

Don't get angry, get even

When a bank makes a loan and you miss a payment they will mercilessly hunt you down – yet if it is a loyal customer's money they roll on their backs and surrender...

One of of the many call center staff I spoke to go gave me some sage advice – Blitz the scammer with few dozen 1p Bank transfers each with choice “reference” to the scammer, a little like a financial obscene phone caller (No obscenities though, a friend once tried to open an account called Megasuarus and it was blocked)

If their account has not been closed down they will receive them all and you might just hit a raw nerve and make them feel guilty. But be warned don't won’t claim the 30p or 40p as the chances are the scammer will have emptied his account.

So, to conclude

Never send money via bank transfer to anyone ever

I'd love it you could suggest some short phrases I can send the individual that will make him regret being born…

Thanks for reading...

Morton Geppert

PS. If you want his name, sort code and account number I am more than happy to share - who knows he may even send you some "references" back...

Because Linkedin need not be boring