Half the World Away

As you probably read recently, earlier this year, I was lucky enough to complete my citizenship. Today, I want to talk about what it’s like to move halfway around the world or to live far away from home and family.

How did we even get here?

At some point back in England, I decided to stop working in the music industry and pursue a more stable job. This is not to discredit anyone in the music industry; I couldn’t make enough money and wanted a 9-5 position with a steady salary to pay the rent. I took a job at Asda , then part of 沃尔玛 . Over time, my special set of skills led me to work in California. Walmart took care of getting me a Visa, and they paid to ship myself, my furniture, and my cats across the world.

At first, living in a foreign country felt like a long vacation – experiencing different foods, exploring like a tourist, and immersing myself in various cultures. But over time, I noticed many challenges. Let’s explore some of these.

Language barrier

One of the most apparent barriers is the language difference. Although I speak English, some Americans have a hard time understanding me due to my accent and fast-talking. More often, people where English isn’t their first language. I definitely see this as a me problem; I talk too fast. This experience has given me empathy for those facing language barriers in much worse situations. Occasionally, someone will hear my accent and ask where I’m from, but unfortunately, there have been rare instances where someone has told me to go home, which opened my eyes to the reality of racism others face and the pain it can cause.

Feed me

The food is something I dearly miss. When I arrived here, finding English food, even basic items like chocolate bars, was challenging. The price differences were also frustrating when I knew the cost of something in England and couldn’t justify paying the inflated price here. Fortunately, I recently discovered a great website (https://www.britishcornershop.co.uk) that offers good prices and fast shipping for a wide range of British treats. While it’s a welcome taste of home, it can’t compare to a Sunday pub lunch or carvery, a J D Wetherspoons curry night, or just good fish and chips.

Whenever someone recommends the best fish and chips in the area, they never live up to the authentic experience back in England. None of these places have ever heard of scraps, and it’s not one giant piece of cod or haddock and more chips than you can eat wrapped up in the old newspaper.

English bacon is also a rarity, and I only manage to get it once a year, swallowing my pride as I pay for a frozen pack for a full English during the Christmas break.

Four weddings and a Funeral

Living far away has also brought the reality of distance to important life events. When I first moved, I planned to attend specific funerals and weddings, but as time went on, flights became more expensive, and the reality of missing some significant family events set in. The grim realization that there will be funerals I can’t attend has been difficult to cope with.

Isolation

You might think I’d find solace in connecting with other British people in California. Still, I’ve noticed that they tend to fall into one of three groups: those who dislike Americans and America and complain about it, those who dislike England and want to complain and mock its demise, and those like me - who appreciate both countries, are happy to be in the US, but still cherish our English roots. The latter category is definitely harder to come across.

Politics!

Brexit and politics have also been a complex issue to follow from afar.

Wow, well, that tore families apart.

Let’s have a vote to decide if we should be part of Europe or not, a referendum. Sounds like a great, fair democratic plan.

Now let’s say the winning party is just the majority - 51% or higher. Oh, but now we’ve counted the votes, and it’s only 52%. That isn’t fair, and it isn’t democratic.

I’ve changed my mind!

What’s ironic about politics when you don’t live in a country is that any political opinions you have are easier to put to one side; it is Easy to be on the outside looking in when not living it, But also easy to see problems when you aren’t so close to them.

• I can see all the benefits Brexit offered and why so many people from all demographics felt it was right for them.
• I can see all the risks and concerns of leaving?threatened and why so many felt it was a bad idea.

I could also see all the propaganda both sides postured. I enjoy reading UK newspapers that are pro-conservative and Pro labour and trying to see the middle ground.

If you hear both sides of a story, you can normally find the truth.

What's on TV?

(Not the magazine, like actually - what do I watch?)

Regarding TV, I still watch a lot of English shows, and fortunately, my American wife enjoys the British sense of humor as well. (fortunately for me or fortunate for her - you decide)

We love shows like GBBO and my eldest daughter dreams of participating someday as the English kid from California.

I also watch a lot of American TV shows; I always had, though; I don’t watch any daytime shows or any news. I consume my news online now. American news and chat shows were very overwhelming, and once I adjusted to online news as my only source, it seems faster to read than to watch.

Rose-tinted glasses?

Living abroad has made me realize that the world I left behind has likely changed, and my memories of England may differ from its current reality. The phrase “the grass is always greener on the other side” rings true unless, of course, that side is in the shade.

Let's bring this to a close.

Living in another country has been and continues to be an adventure. My career has flourished, and the life I can provide my children is better than what I might have had if I stayed behind. Meeting my American wife wouldn’t have been possible if I hadn’t moved here. Nonetheless, living away from home can be isolating, and there are moments when I miss England dearly. But, overall, this experience has shaped me and broadened my perspective in ways I wouldn’t trade for anything.

When you turn your back on something, it often grows and blossoms?without you, or wilts in the darkness.

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