Half as Much - A Wedding Toast

I know LinkedIn is a business and professional site. Please indulge me as I share a wedding toast I delivered to my daughter Fanny and son-in-law Tony on ~ September 3, 2017, in Wilmington, NC.

 Just Half As Much

 Welcome to everyone who has traveled from Hawaii, New Jersey, Virginia, Florida, New York and all places in between. Today is a special day in our lives; It is an honor that you can share it with us.

Those of you who know me understand that when it comes to giving emotional speeches, I’m like Niagara Falls – nothing but tears.

So bear with me for a few moments and keep your tissues close at hand.

Today is almost 40 years to the day that Ra El and I walked down the aisle together on a crisp September 11th in 1977.

Fanny is wearing Ra El’s wedding dress, and it has sewn within it a small heart, that is from my 90-year-old mom Bea Slater’s dress she wore on June 16, 1948. Fanny also carried in her bride’s bouquet the lace from my mother’s wedding dress.

These dresses are part of the thread of a story about my family. This is a story about the fabric of love.

When our beautiful daughters Sarah and Fanny were little girls, Ra El and I gave them the advice any parent would give.

Don’t touch a hot stove.

Don’t cross the street alone.

Don’t ever leave home.

Sarah heeded most of our advice, and to this day she doesn’t touch a hot stove or cross the street alone.

She does, however, live 10,000 miles away on the beautiful island of Hawaii in Kailua Beach.

Fanny, on the other hand, never listened to any advice we gave her. When we told her not to do something, you could see in her eyes her course of action.

She would immediately do the opposite.

We couldn’t get her to brush her hair – or even her teeth for several years.

Fanny insisted that she could do her homework in the morning on the way to school.

She would tell me while eating her breakfast surprise that it was much more important that she finished watching the latest episode of Friends.

When we asked her to set the table, she put the fork on the right instead of the left because it made it special.

If I asked her if she studied for a test, she would change the subject and tell me how much she enjoyed dinner and that she liked how I reduced the sauce and added sage to bring out the essence of the flavor.

I knew she would either be a politician or a host on a Food Network show.

When we suggested to her that she shouldn’t expect Britney Spears to become her best friend when she grows up, she didn’t want any part of that foolishness.

Fanny did listen to one piece of advice that we gave her over and over and over again.

It wasn’t a lesson in how to roast the perfect chicken, caramelized onions till sweet or even how to bake a world-class brownie.

The lesson was simple. It was about the fabric of love. Ra El and I would tell Fanny –

“When you grow up, you should find someone who loves you HALF as much as mom, and I love you.”

Just half.

If you can do that, you’ll live a happy life.

One day, Fanny told us that she met a guy in Wilmington at the Goat & Compass. They were just friends, and if I have the language correct – they were just hanging out. Nothing serious.

She told us a few things about this guy. His family is from Virginia. He has a good sense of humor. And best of all, he loved the Mets.

As time passed, she told us that she is starting to date this guy – moving on from just hanging out.

She said he was fun and silly and kind. Those are three adjectives we love. Best of all, she said he made her happy.

As things progressed along, we knew things were getting serious when Tony made two requests.

First, he wanted to meet Bea Bea.

Second, he wanted to go to Milburn Deli (an important landmark in my childhood from NJ)

(This is the part when you can take out a tissue)

We are blessed with two magnificent, intelligent, imaginative, healthy, compassionate, beautiful daughters, and they have filled us with infinite joy and happiness – beyond our wildest dreams.

But we never had a son, until today.

We didn’t understand what that meant since except for me, our house was all female. Well, we did have two special male cats named Lt. Mango and Shambhala.

A few summers ago, Tony joined us on one of our vacations to Hawaii, and we got a chance to get to know him. We saw how he watched over Fanny and was always willing to pitch in and help. We could see that he loved Fanny and we all quickly understood what Fanny saw in Tony.

Tony is a loving, kind and generous young man of impeccable character. He possesses a rare quality. He listens when people talk and gives his full attention. And he genuine loves to live in the moment.

His heart is open, loving and filled with an appreciation for the simple things in life.

We could see in his action, how caring he was with his siblings, their spouses, and his parents. He is a good friend and has a big heart.

When the time came to get engaged, Tony came to Raleigh from Wilmington to ask us for Fanny’s hand in marriage.

The smile on Ra El’s face and the tears from my eyes said it all.

So, with my Grandma Fannie’s wedding ring, Tony proposed.

It appears that Fanny had been listening to us all along.

Tony met our test, and we knew in our hearts, that he was in for the ride of a lifetime with Fanny.

Together they will be able to withstand the bumps and bubbles that come in any marriage. (Did you know that between Coleen and Lee, and Ra El and I, we have almost 80 years of marriage).

Tony wants Fanny to be everything she wants to be and was there to support and help her on her career path.

And Fanny wants the same for Tony, willing to nourish everything he dreams about too.

So please raise a glass to Fanny and Tony.

We wish for both of you joy and wild, crazy happiness, now and forever more.

May you love each other half as much as we love you wrapped in the fabric our family’s love.

Fanny and Tony were married on September 3, 2017, in front of friends and family in Wilmington, NC. It was truly a memorable day. To watch a tribute video that my wife put together of old photos of Fanny and Tony when they were little and then when they met, click here. My wife Ra El and I have been married for 40 years on September 11, 2017 as we celebrate the fabric of love.