Half Empty or Half Full?

I've been in two minds about writing and sharing this but sometimes you need to let an "idea" breathe and so I am going to share something very private and something that is probably my biggest challenge emotional, mental and physically.

One of the challenges of looking after an aging parent is to deal with their unhappiness and stress and a fixed mindset (Which has taken its toll and so I have had to think harder on how to deal with it. Caregiver stress is one of the most stressful things).

When we age many things change, our health, cognitive decline, lack of energy, lack of purpose/goal, feeling of a lack of "control"/relevance, reduced social engagement which can all lead to depression and unhappiness which can then effect things like physical activity, appetite, social engagement and ability to focus.

In addition they can be very set in their ways/fixed mindset, unwillingness to change or even try something and have beliefs and views that don't work for them so starting any change can often be rebuffed by them knowing better, they have tried it before or other "reasons".

Many problems are about mindset and helping people change their mindset is perhaps the most difficult and if you are empathatic it is likely you will get sucked in and in trying to save the drowning person you end up drowning yourself.

It is easy to ruminate and focus on things that are wrong and fixate on what might seem as trivial.

It is natural to focus on the things that cause us pain and to magnify them but we we stop for a moment we will realise we also have a lot to be positive about especially when we are fortunate to live in a 1st world country rather than in an area that is war torn etc.

One of the things I have been trying to do is to create a sense of gratitude of all the things that are actually alright to get a more positive mindset/deflect from the negative and to take positive action on the things you can do and not stress about the things you can't control.

Change comes in small steps so aim for the smallest step because a big first step will always face rejection.

Now its too early to say if its a "success" but this week has been a good week so far with some positive outcomes.

I would love your thoughts on feedback on this "mind exercise".

We have a tremendous capability to create synthetic happiness to regard happiness as a mindset and be content with things if we choose to be.

Gratitude - being glad/thankful of all the things that are ok.

So I have asked her to look at all the things that can make people unhappy, stressed or depressed and then to cross out what doesn't apply to her.

Things that make us unhappy

Personal Circumstances

1.Financial Insecurity

?? - Debt

?? - Poverty

?? - Unemployment

2.Health Issues

?? - Chronic illness

?? - Disability

?? - Mental health disorders

3.Emotional Challenges

?? - Grief due to loss of loved ones

?? - Breakdown of relationships

?? - Unresolved past traumas

4.Lifestyle Factors

?? - Lack of sleep

?? - Poor diet and lack of exercise

?? - Substance abuse

Social and Relationship Factors

1.Family Dynamic;

?? - Domestic issues

?? - Parenting challenges

?? - Family conflicts

2.Romantic Relationship;

?? - Divorce or separation

?? - Infidelity

?? - Unfulfilled romant

?? - Social isolation

?? - Peer pressure

?? - Bullying or harassment

4.Workplace Environment

?? - Job dissatisfaction

?? - Workplace bullying

?? - Lack of work-life balance

Psychological and Emotional Factors

1.?Self-Perception

?? - Low self-esteem

?? - Body image issues

?? - Feeling of failure or underachievement

2.Cognitive Factors

?? - Pessimism

?? - Perfectionism

?? - Unhelpful thought patterns

3.Existential Concerns

?? - Lack of purpose or meaning

?? - Feelings of emptiness

?? - Fear of death or the unknown

Socioeconomic and Political Factors

1. Community and Societal Issues

?? - Discrimination and stigma

?? - Political oppression

?? - Crime and Safety

2. Economic Challenges

?? - Inflation

?? - Economic recession

?? - Income inequality

3.Global Issues

?? - Climate change and natural disasters

?? - War and conflict

?? - Pandemics and health crises

Environmental and Daily Hassles

1.Living Conditions

?? - Poor housing quality

?? - Noisy or polluted environments

?? - Lack of access to nature

2.Daily Inconveniences

?? - Traffic and commuting stress

?? - Technology overload

?? - Over-scheduling and lack of downtime

Stressors in Life

Personal Stressors

1.???? Health-Related

1. Illness or injury
2. Chronic pain or disabilities
3. Mental health issues

2.???? Emotional Problems

1. Anger or frustration
2. Grief
3. Fear and uncertainty

3.???? Life Changes

1. Moving to a new home
2. Starting a new job or school
3. Major life events like marriage or childbirth

Interpersonal Stressors

1.???? Family and Home Life

1. Family disputes
2. Parenting challenges
3. Caring for a family member

2.???? Relationships

1. Difficulties in romantic relationships
2. Problems with friends or coworkers
3. Social isolation or loneliness

3.???? Social Expectations

1. Peer pressure
2. Social norms and fitting in
3. Discrimination or social exclusion

Professional and Academic Stressors

1.???? Work Demands

1. High workload or long hours
2. Job insecurity or dissatisfaction
3. Harassment or conflict at work

2.???? Educational Pressures

1. Exams and grades
2. Balancing studies with other commitments
3. Post-graduation plans

Financial Stressors

1.???? Economic Concerns

1. Managing debt
2. Living expenses exceeding income
3. Saving for future needs

2.???? Market Fluctuations

1. Investment losses
2. Economic downturns
3. Job market competition

Societal and Environmental Stressors

1.???? Environmental Issues

1. Living conditions
2. Climate change and natural disasters
3. Urban crowding and noise

2.???? Political and Cultural

1. Political instability or conflict
2. Cultural clashes or identity crises
3. National or global crises

Daily Hassles

1.???? Routine Activities

1. Commuting or traffic
2. Chores and daily maintenance
3. Time management

2.???? Technology and Information Overload

1. Keeping up with communication
2. Navigating misinformation
3. Cybersecurity concerns

Existential and Cognitive Stressors

1.???? Personal Beliefs and Values

1. Ethical or moral dilemmas
2. Spiritual or religious struggles
3. Self-expectations and perfectionism

2.???? Life Purpose and Goals

1. Searching for meaning
2. Achieving personal goals
3. Aligning actions with personal values

How to deal with it?

Personal Circumstances

1. Financial Security: Create a budget, seek financial advice, reduce expenses, and consider alternative income streams.
2. Health Management: Prioritize medical care, adopt a healthy diet and regular exercise, and manage health conditions proactively.
3. Emotional Well-being: Engage in mindfulness practices, seek therapy or counselling, and build a strong support network.

Social and Relationship Factors

1. Family and Relationship Harmony: Improve communication skills, engage in family therapy, and set healthy boundaries.
2. Social Engagement: Join groups and clubs, volunteer, and make efforts to maintain and form new friendships.
3. Workplace Balance: Assert boundaries, seek jobs with better work-life balance, and address issues with HR when necessary.

Psychological and Emotional Factors

1. Self-Esteem: Practice self-compassion, engage in positive self-talk, and challenge negative beliefs about oneself.
2. Mental Resilience: Learn and practice cognitive-behavioral techniques, and develop problem-solving skills.
3. Existential Fulfillment: Explore personal values, set meaningful goals, and perhaps engage in spiritual or philosophical exploration.

Socioeconomic and Political Factors

1. Community Involvement: Get involved in community service or advocacy groups to address societal issues.
2. Economic Participation: Participate in economic education programs, and support policies aimed at reducing inequality.
3. Global Awareness: Stay informed, support relief efforts, and engage in sustainability practices.

Environmental and Daily Hassles

1. Quality of Living Space: Optimize your living environment for comfort and calm, consider soundproofing, and spend time in nature.
2. Daily Stress Management: Prioritize tasks, delegate when possible, and break larger tasks into manageable steps.

Holistic and Integrative Approaches

1.???? Physical Activity: Regular exercise can alleviate stress and contribute to overall emotional well-being.

2.???? Relaxation Techniques: Practices such as deep breathing, meditation, yoga, or tai chi can reduce stress responses.

3.???? Creative Outlets: Engage in hobbies or artistic endeavours to express emotions and reduce stress.

4.???? Diet and Nutrition: Maintain a balanced diet rich in nutrients that support brain health and reduce inflammation.

5.???? Sleep Hygiene: Ensure adequate sleep, establish a regular sleep schedule, and create a restful sleeping environment.

6.???? Professional Help: For persistent issues, therapists, psychologists, and psychiatrists can offer specialized strategies and treatments, including medication if needed.

7.???? Time Management: Learn to say no, set priorities, and use tools like calendars and lists to manage time effectively.

8.???? Mindset Shift: Adopt a growth mindset, where challenges are seen as opportunities to learn rather than insurmountable obstacles.

What we can and can’t control?

Within Our Control

1. Reactions and Attitudes: How we respond to events and challenges, and the perspective we choose to adopt.
2. Personal Behaviour: Our habits, such as diet, exercise, sleep, and how we manage our time and energy.
3. Emotional Regulation: Techniques for managing our emotions, like mindfulness, meditation, or cognitive restructuring.
4. Relationships: The effort we put into maintaining and improving our personal and professional relationships.
5. Goals and Aspirations: Setting personal objectives, pursuing dreams, and creating plans to achieve them.
6. Learning and Growth: Seeking out knowledge, personal development, and new skills.
7. Health Management: Engaging in preventative health care and treatment adherence.
8. Financial Planning: Budgeting, saving, investing, and spending practices.
9. Leisure and Recreation: Choosing how to enjoy and make the most of free time.
10. Responses to Mistakes: How we learn from errors and apply that knowledge in the future.

Outside Our Control

1. Other People’s Actions: How others behave, their feelings, and the decisions they make.
2. Global Events: Political, economic, and natural events like elections, market crashes, or natural disasters.
3. The Past: Previous events that have already occurred and cannot be changed.
4. Genetics: Inherited traits, predispositions to certain health conditions, and physical characteristics.
5. Aging: The natural process of getting older and the changes that come with it.
6. Cultural Norms: The societal and cultural standards that influence the behaviour of groups of people.
7. Weather and Environment: Weather conditions, climate change effects, and geographic limitations.
8. Traffic and Commutes: Delays and the behavior of other drivers or passengers.
9. Birth and Death: The circumstances of our birth and the inevitability of death.

If you are trying to help a friend or family member be more positive, try this and let me have your feedback.

?