Hacking Happiness

When we descended on Shoreditch House last week as part of our quarterly Creative Superpowers sessions, I honestly didn’t know what to expect. While we’ve used Hacking for lots of areas in the workplace (Inclusion, Masculinity, Carers & Parents), we’ve never used it for something quite as big or as personal as Happiness.

But what does happiness actually mean. The Oxford dictionary defines it as “the state of being happy” which isn’t particularly insightful! The definition of happy itself, “feeling or showing pleasure or contentment” is perhaps a little more useful. Obviously we all have our own definitions of happiness but one of my favourite definitions came from the event itself:

The first time I truly appreciated happiness is when someone described depression to me as the inability to be happy. It was such a stark description that really hit home and made me realise I needed to learn more about mental health. Until that point, I’d been lucky and it wasn’t something I’d had to think about as my mental health has been excellent most of my life (some people have even gone so far as to call my smile one of my biggest superpowers!!). 

Not long after I had the privilege of travelling around Central America with Tina, my wonderful wife, which gave me time to think, really think about what was important to me. It was during that trip that I started to explore the true meaning of wealth and came up with the following equation:

Positive Wealth = Happiness = Purpose + Family + Health

Where:

Family = those people you want to spend time with (so you do not need to be related to them)

Health = Financial Health + Physical Health + Mental Health

I suppose the reason that I wanted to define happiness in this way was to simply show that money is just one component of what contributes to wealth and overall happiness. However the focus at this event was mental and physical health and I was honoured to be joined by three brilliant people who are hacking three very different areas to help improve people’s happiness:

●     Jo Carnegie, Wellbeing Writer – “I am hacking loneliness because I believe that modern day ‘invisible loneliness’ is something many of us are experiencing. The good news is that it’s so easy to fix. In every interaction we have, are we choosing to disconnect from others when we could be engaging with them on a more human level instead?” 

●     Hilary Gallo, Author of Fear Hack – “I am hacking fear because I noticed professionally, as a negotiator, that fear was the #1 reason people got stuck. Also I have suffered from fear terribly myself and have noticed how my life has come alive since I started to change my relationship with it.” 

●     Michelle Morgan, Founder of Pjoys – “ I’m hacking mental health because I was once told that it felt awkward for people when I talked about my poor mental health. That was a crushing moment, I was silenced. No one should ever feel awkward talking about their mental health, we should be talking far more about it."

There was total agreement from all three that there is no single fix and that hacking i.e. making lots and lots and lots of small changes was the way forward. Jo in particular discussed her personal journey of investing significant time and money hoping to discover a magic formula for happiness until she touched on the best hack of them all “Just expect less. Once you do this, you are far more likely to be happy when you receive more.”

Jo also believes that by breaking down our worries and confronting them, they become much more manageable: “We can often feel stymied or paralysed by all our worries and/or choices - so much so that we do nothing about them. The great thing about hacking is that you can begin to dismantle these seemingly insurmountable problems or dilemmas right there and then. By adopting the mindset: a) what can I easily and achievably do in the next moment/minute/hour/day? and b) does this action/decision make me feel better or worse? - you are well on your way to hacking anything you want to - especially happiness!”

For Hilary, hacking forces you to step back and provides you with a different perspective “We can continue to take repeated blows at the same log in the same place in the same way but what I like to do is to step back, look at the log, turn it around and take a fresh cut at it from a better angle.”

Here are some of the best hacks from our speakers and the audience (understandably the focus from the audience given the line-up was mental health). We do hope they help and do please share in the comments below your own hacks. And if you are interested in our coming to one of our free workshops around Mental Health Awareness Week, please do scroll down to the bottom of the article.

In the meantime, hope your day is filled with happiness.

Mental Health Hacks

●     Always start the day with a really good coffee, preferably in ceramic. Nothing brings me greater joy (Jo Carnegie)

●     See the signpost that is fear - that says "danger keep out" - as an invitation that says "all that will grow you lies here" (Hilary Gallo)

●     Ask yourself what real life evidence you have for what you are fearing actually being true (Hilary Gallo)

●     Write a list of powerful statements on a good day to read on a less good day

●     For every negative thought you have, come up with two positive thoughts

●     Concentrate on your breathing

●     Make your home a safe place away from negative thoughts - if I get that feeling of negativity I have to ‘take them outside’ (usually on a walk or to the gym!)

●     Schedule me time

●     Keep a brag journal – write down all the wonderful things people have said to you and refer back to it when you are feeling low or need a confidence boost

●     Get the hell out of the city (if only for a few hours so as to give yourself perspective)

●     Put things in perspective - tell myself I won’t be worried about the thing I’m worrying about in a day/week’s time

●     “Wishing Well” - as you walk by someone in the street, send them a wish for a good day (in your own head)

●     Do not always focus on how to help others, sometimes focus on helping yourself

●     Keep a notebook by your bed. If you can’t sleep because your brain is whining, write it all down without turning on the light. Don’t give power to your anxieties to keep you awake

●     Don’t talk to yourself the way you wouldn’t let someone else talk to you

●     Embrace your vulnerability

●     Have a friend you can be totally honest with and message any time of day/night to share your inner dialogue

●     Spend time in silence 

●     Surround yourself with physical beauty e.g. going to an amazing space to be lifted

●     Give your inner critic a name so you can separate and identify this so when they pipe up you can tell them to f ‘off’

Financial Health Hacks

●     Divide your remaining money by how many days you have left that month and just spend that per day

●     Don’t fight about money - talk to a financial advisor

●     All you need is less

Physical Health Hacks

●     Go for a walk

●     Eat good stuff (and learn about nutrition)

●     Regular cold showers

●     If it’s less than 40 mins away, walk there

We are running a Street Wisdom Wellness Special Edition with Michelle Morgan on 10th May. More details and registration HERE

Jo Carnegie will be running a Hacking Loneliness with Utopia on 15th May as part of Mental Health Awareness week. More details and registration HERE

If you want to know more about the Hacker Creative Superpower, you can buy our book HERE