Habits and How to Break them: A 5 Stage NLP Approach

This article was written as part of a series for Fitpro Magazine in 2001/2002.

'It is important to have an understanding of what a habit is and how they develop'. Pam Rigden BSc (Hons) Sports Sciences, MA, YMCA Personal Trainer, NLP Master Practitioner, Coach and Trainer writes about how cutting edge Fitness Professionals are achieving their results. 

One of the most obvious applications of NLP in health and fitness is the role it can play in assisting clients in giving up their bad habits. A host of techniques exist for example which can help a client break bad habits and replace them with more useful ones. Cutting edge fitness professionals are adding these complementary skills to their tool box and are seeing their clients succeed as they are able to offer something beyond the conventional approach.

So what is a Habit?

Habits are learned patterns of behaviour which we have developed because right back when we first tried the behaviour it either made us feel good or simply enabled us to feel less bad. People want to move away from pain, discomfort and unhappiness and most people move away from those experiences by using smoking, drugs and excessive alcohol. Many people go about trying to feel better in ways that almost invariably and eventually leave them feeling worse. The problem is that in the here and now many of these behaviours have gone right past their sell by date but, because the unconscious mind wants us to feel good, it is difficult to override the old patterns even when we would like to.

The Swish Pattern provides a way to make changes automatic by having the client replace one internal picture (of how they do their habit) with another picture (of how they will not do their habit and of what they will do instead). The technique is successful because it installs new neurological choices for a new behaviour rather than just removing old habits. This is accomplished by identifying what actually triggers the bad habit, as the technique uses the existing trigger of the bad habit to create the movement and momentum towards a new behaviour. It is this positive Moving Towards a new behaviour which will guarantee success.

Another technique which is useful in the quest to help clients break habits is the

Removing Unwanted Behaviour Pattern which aims to replace an unwanted behaviour with three more user friendly alternatives. Integral to this technique is the fundamental NLP belief that all behaviour, no matter how negative it might seem, has a positive intention, otherwise we wouldn’t be doing it. The technique enables us to recognise what this positive intention is ( and it usually satisfies a fundamental human need – such as providing security in the case of comfort eating) and encourages the unconscious mind to come up with a number of alternatives which will both satisfy the positive intention of the original behaviour and serve the client better.

Both the Swish Pattern and the Removing Unwanted Behaviour Pattern ( The Six Step Reframe ) are taught at NLP Practitioner level, and while you can gain a considerable amount of knowledge through reading text books and articles, there is no substitute for taking an experiential training where you will see the techniques demonstrated and have the opportunity to practise them while supervised by qualified NLP trainers.

However there are a number of steps you can consider when working with clients who wish to break habits which can help you.

1) Readiness

A client’s attempts to break a habit will be unsuccessful if they are not truly ready and committed to making the change. It is important to help them assess their readiness – it may be that your client is contemplating change, but is not quite ready yet. The following questions have proved useful

• Would you like to break your habit?
• Are you prepared to change?
• If not, what’s stopping you?
• Are you ready to make a change now?
• If not, when will you be?

2) Elicit (find out) the Positive Intention

The key to breaking the habit is to illicit the positive intention behind it ( NLP presupposes that there is a positive intention behind all behaviour) and find another way of making sure the intention is satisfied. This in itself will make letting go of the bad habit a great deal easier. For example, where it is established that a client is ‘comfort eating’ you might want to explore other healthier ways to satisfy their need for comfort.

Clients give up on their good intentions to break a habit because there was a good intention behind the unwanted behaviour in the first place. This has been there much longer and therefore feels comfortable and familiar on one level even when a person professes the desire to change.

3)   Beliefs and Identity

A useful question to ask your client is “ Who do you need to be to live the life that you want?” – the client literally has to start getting into role as the new non-habit person. Eventually as the client plays a different version of themselves, like an actor playing a part, their family friends and work colleagues will start relating to them as that new person. Such recognition reinforces the client’s new ‘image’ of themselves, making it easier to adopt new behaviours which support that image. It is important to celebrate each small achievement, each choice for health if you like, however small – because the more evidence there is to back up the client’s belief that they are succeeding the clearer the direction for the unconscious mind.

Many clients will tell you they want to stop over eating or give up smoking but will constantly find reasons why they can’t and tell you it is too difficult. The first thing a client with this mind set needs to do is to use their energy in a more productive way and focus on what they want. You need to persuade them that they are not stuck with their current situation – they can change their negative thought patterns and behaviours by focussing on what they want and they can do it now. Procrastination is just another bad habit!

You are more than your behaviour

• Identity              I am a non-smoker
• Beliefs               Smoking kills
• Capability          I wouldn’t know how to smoke if I tried
• Behaviour         I have never smoked
• Environment     My workplace operates a no smoking policy

How do you react as a non smoker for example to situations which were difficult before?

4) Focus on Positive Outcome

While discomfort with a habit can initially be motivating and can persuade a person to take action, it also keeps the focus on the unwanted behaviour, and focussing on what you don’t want is rarely as successful as moving towards what you do want. It is therefore vital to set a positive outcome frame and have your client shift their thinking toward that outcome. The aim is to let the unconscious mind know what it is aiming for; when we begin to think like a non-smoker for example, the behaviour follows suit….and the more we practice the new thoughts, the easier it will become because we learn by repetition.

It is as simple as that; you use the skills which landed you with the habit in the first place to learn how to behave differently.

5) Belief in your Client

Finally the most important element of this approach is your belief in your client’s capability to break their habit. If you don’t believe they can do it, they are unlikely to be able to believe it themselves.