The Guy Who Saved My Life
Many years ago, I was planning a river rafting trip with some buddies. We were scoping routes, figuring out what gear we’d need, and, as we say in California, getting stoked.
Then, as I was on my way out the door for a bike ride, my friend called me to say she had invited another friend of hers to join us on the river trip. I…well… I did not get along so well with the friend she had invited. Let’s call him Brad.?
Brad believed he knew how to do most things better than most people, and wasn’t shy to correct your form on anything from a frisbee forearm to a carrot chopping technique. We’d been in the same circle for a year and it had gotten to the point where I chose to leave the room if he entered it.
I left the house breathing heavily and started cranking on my bike to let off some steam. I felt like Brad was going to ruin this trip that I had so been looking forward to.
I kept riding, kept fuming.
Then, as I was pedaling, I started thinking about my options. Should I back out of the trip? Should I invite someone else who might balance Brad’s intensity? Should I ask my friend to un-invite Brad?
I asked myself, “Is there?any?upside to Brad coming on the trip?”
I didn’t like to admit it, but there was at least one.?You know, if we got in a bind on the river, Brad is the kind of person who I could genuinely imagine saving someone’s life.?
It was true. And…what if it was?my?life he saved?
I couldn’t help it, but I started laughing on the bike, just picturing it. Cracking up, even. Brad could save my life! That was a definite upside.
That’s when I decided to try an experiment in?reframing. I said to myself, “Amelia, what would happen if you just pretend that Brad already?did?save your life?” From now on, every time I saw him, I would think to myself:?That guy saved my life!
A Change in Thought
Reframing is something we help companies and teams do at Experience Institute in our innovation workshops. What would happen, we ask teams, if you took one of your core limiting beliefs and chose, even for an hour, to believe the exact opposite?
Then, we guide them through a 60-minute reframing process, developed by Karim Benammar , a philosopher and curator at THNK School of Leadership .?
Along the way, they:
They end up with a new, “flipped” belief. Here are a few recent examples of powerful reframes from our clients:
FROM?“Gen Z just doesn’t want to work hard or put in the time."
TO?“Gen Z knows how to work smarter, not harder.”
领英推荐
FROM?“Our talent pool is limited or non-existent.”
TO?“Our talent pool is limitless.”
FROM?“Being great at this software isn’t worth my effort.”
TO?“Investing in learning this software will pay dividends.”
FROM?“No one likes change.”
TO?“Everyone craves change.”
FROM?“We don’t have time to train our front line staff.”
TO?“We don’t have time NOT to train our front line staff.”
The real progress happens next, when leaders apply that flipped belief into the innovations they are working on. They ask themselves, “How might we solve this problem if we believed X instead of believing Y?” Or even, “How might our solution enable a shift to this new belief?” For many of our clients, this reframe is the critical insight that unsticks them from wherever they are stuck. Just like mine did, with Brad.
Take the first example I shared about perceptions of Gen Z. When that team fully flipped their belief about Gen Z, they realized managers should ask their Gen Z employees to share tips with the rest of their teams on how to leverage AI and work efficiently rather than demanding the Gen Z-ers adhere to rigid working hours. This reframe unlocked a solution that upped both productivity and employee satisfaction—the definition of win-win!
What’s more, reframing is a bit addicting. Once you start seeing opportunities to reframe, you can’t stop. I think it’s because of the feeling of freedom you get when you unchain yourself from a core limiting belief.
A Life-Saving Reframe
I certainly felt that freedom – even a bit of euphoria – from my reframe about Brad. While I didn’t completely convince myself that Brad saved my life, the reframe worked. I won’t say we became best friends on that river trip. But he didn’t ruin it for me. Since we shared many of the same friends, I kept running into Brad long beyond the trip. And each time I saw him, I thought silently to myself, “That guy saved my life!”?
This simple thought broke my pattern with him. I was too busy laughing at the joke inside my head to seethe. Powered only by imagination, I went from “I can’t stand that guy,” to “Thank God for this guy.”
So, what is one of your limiting beliefs? And what new freedom might you discover if you flipped it on its head? Bonus: If you think you share this limiting belief with a family member, friend, or colleague, share this post with them and tell them what belief you are trying to flip.
Happy Wednesday,
Amelia Rosenman and the Ei Team