To The Gust I had to let Go

I’m sorry for the pain I’ve caused

I know my explanation will make things worse, but just give me a chance.

I’m not the person you thought I am. I hid my real-self behind a fa?ade just so you’d pay attention to me just so we’d have some things in common to talk about.

Before you happened, I was this girl who was always shy and scared. I wasn’t enough. And when I met you, I knew I had to be better. I had to act like I’m a calm person. I had to see the world in colors, even though I’ve hated everything around me.

Your brave and caring personality intimidated me, and I had learned so from you after we became friends. I started watching documentaries and listened to the artists I’d never known existed just so we’d have more things in common

I know I was being selfish, this one is on me, but I need you to know the truth. I’ve been alone for so long that I needed to be with someone. A companion. A friend. A lover. Somewhere within, I’m still that insecure person, and perhaps, I cannot be changed for good. I couldn’t bury the demos.

Sometimes, I wondered if you knew I was faking it and you were still here because you pitied me? Perhaps, you didn’t you’re just nice that way. I know I shouldn’t be overthinking.

When I couldn’t hold the fa?ade any longer, I started panicking. My secret might come out. You’d leave me. So, I did what I’ve always done. I left before you could. It was a reflex. I’m sorry to hurt you but had I stayed any longer, I’d have hurt myself more.

I know this is a mistake. You did everything you could. Trust me, I did too. We are perhaps star-crossed lovers. Maybe when we are 40, we’ll look back and smile at what we had. Or maybe, then we’ll find a way back to each other.

Ending this letter with the quote- “but I’m a sunflower, a little funny. If I were a rose, maybe you’d pick me” because this one makes sense to me.?