Guiding the Next Generation

If you're raising boys, Wild at Heart by John Eldredge offers incredible lessons on the stages of manhood. It's not just a guide for parenting—it’s a mirror for self-reflection, helping us understand where we are in life and the unfinished stages we may need to revisit.

Life is a journey of growth, marked by stages that shape who we are and how we lead others.

Insights into Growth and Legacy

Every man’s life is a journey marked by growth, challenges, and transformation. In Wild at Heart by John Eldredge, the six stages of manhood offer a powerful framework for understanding this journey.

Each phase builds upon the previous one, shaping a man’s character and purpose. Eldredge emphasizes that progression through these stages is not always linear, and unresolved wounds from earlier stages can impact growth.

While the ages aren’t rigidly defined, each stage overlaps, with transitions often unfolding imperceptibly throughout life’s journey:

Understanding these stages helps us navigate our own lives and better mentor those who come after us. Whether you’re raising the next generation or seeking clarity for yourself, these are invaluable insights to consider:

1. The Boyhood Stage (Birth to ~12 years)

• Focus: Innocence, play, and learning foundational trust.
• Key Need: Affirmation of identity and the question, "Do I have what it takes?"

A time of wonder, learning, and the foundation of identity. Boys need their fathers or strong male figures to affirm their value.

2. The Cowboy Stage (~12 to early 20s)

• Focus: Adventure, exploration, and testing limits.
• Key Need: Opportunities to take risks and discover strengths in a relatively safe environment.

Exploring freedom, adventure, and responsibility. Young men begin stepping into challenges that shape confidence and resilience.

3. The Warrior Stage (~20s to 30s)

• Focus: Fighting for what matters—career, relationships, and causes.
• Key Need: Learning discipline, responsibility, and perseverance.

Overcoming fears, defending values, and building strength. Men take on challenges with purpose, often defining their mission and values.

4. The Lover Stage (~30s to 40s)

• Focus: Deepening relationships, vulnerability, and beauty.
• Key Need: Emotional and spiritual connection, cultivating a sense of wonder and appreciation.

Embracing relationships, beauty, and emotional depth. Men learn to love well—both romantically and in broader relationships—and appreciate the beauty of life.

5. The King Stage (~40s to 60s)

• Focus: Leadership, stewardship, and serving others.
• Key Need: Wisdom and responsibility to guide others and leave a legacy.

Leading with wisdom, integrity, and service to others. Men step into roles of authority, shaping the lives of their families, communities, and organizations.

6. The Sage Stage (~60+ years)

• Focus: Offering wisdom and counsel from life’s experience.
• Key Need: Recognition of their value in guiding others without being the central figure.

Passing on hard-earned wisdom and nurturing future generations. Elders become mentors, helping younger generations navigate life’s challenges.

The stages of manhood are not rigid or strictly sequential. Instead, they often overlap, and a man may find himself in multiple stages simultaneously.

Life’s journey is not always linear—unresolved challenges from an earlier stage can resurface, and growth in one area may happen while another remains incomplete.

For example, a man stepping into the King stage (where he leads with wisdom and responsibility) may still find himself revisiting the Cowboy stage, seeking adventure and testing his strength.

Similarly, wounds or lessons from the Beloved Son stage might need attention even as he steps into the Warrior phase.

These stages are a progression, not a checklist, and men often cycle back to unfinished parts of their journey for deeper healing and growth.

Where are you on this journey, and how are you leaving a legacy?

#Parenting #PersonalGrowth #Manhood #Legacy #WildAtHeart #Leadership