Guiding and Growing: Reflections on My Mentorship Journey.

I used to think 'mentorship' was just one of those trendy terms people toss around. As a young lawyer, with my head buried in memos, cases, and the daily grind, I couldn't see mentorship as anything more than just another box to tick on an already overwhelming to-do list.

The legal world generally has rigid hierarchies and formal structures that foster an atmosphere of distance and inaccessibility. I couldn't shake the perception that mentorship was just another hierarchical construct.

I was sure that bombarding those above me with what I thought were silly questions and awkward small talk would be nothing but a nuisance. But, as it turns out, there are no stupid questions, and mentorship doesn’t have to be the formal, buttoned-up affair I once imagined. It is simply another form of human connection—something easily overlooked.?

When you shed the notion that mentorship is a one-way street, where one side must constantly gain from the other, it suddenly feels much more accessible. Mentorship is everywhere—whether in law school, at a firm, at home, or any organization. Mentorship is people’s way of giving back the help they once received because some people genuinely love to give back the help they once received. Not every mentor comes with an official title, and their guidance often emerges through formal advice and casual conversations. Likewise, not every mentee is someone formally assigned to you; it could be anyone you’ve helped along the way, someone who naturally stepped into that role.?

As your career progresses, you will find mentorship in many different shapes and forms. I’ll share my first experience with intentional mentorship.

On October 15th, 2022, I attended an event hosted by the UAE Black Professionals Network . As I listened intently to the diverse panelists, each offering unique perspectives from various professions, one speaker Lesley Chidume stood out. Her candidness and empathy resonated deeply with me, and I found her journey strikingly similar to my own, making her story particularly impactful.?

For the first time, I found myself seriously considering the idea of seeking out mentorship. I mulled over it for a while until I eventually pushed past my hesitation and decided to reach out. To my surprise, I received an immediate 'yes,' which left me both excited and utterly clueless about what to expect. Would our meetings be filled with her recounting her experiences, or would I be bombarded with a barrage of questions? I wasn’t sure.?

I found it crucial to understand her ground rules, which quickly clarified things for me:

1. I would be taking the lead. This included setting the agenda, selecting clear topics for discussion, and choosing a suitable venue.
2. Adhering to agreed-upon times was essential and non-negotiable.
3. Being teachable and respectful.
4. Providing updates on action items was key to demonstrating progress and assessing our impact.

It is almost 2 years since our first session and the following have been my highlights:

1. My mentor has helped me realize how much of an asset the power of personal branding and visibility is. I've had to learn the elevator pitch, refine my CV and LinkedIn, and learn the use proper body language in communication – less slouching, eye contact, voice tone, firm handshake. Body language communicates more than words can ever convey. ?I’ve learned my strengths, and I confidently lean into them. Investment in personal branding is worthwhile and the basics must be right. This is psyop 101 for lawyers as the impression you create from the get-go matters.
2. My mentor has constantly emphasized the importance of networking. Many people tend to view this from the angle of attending “networking” events and sharing business cards. This approach has a certain level of inefficiency as relations are never really cemented. We ought to view this from the lens of any community we are part of, a church, a professional network, a diaspora group, a class group, a cycling group, a hangout group, a travel group, etc. The legal field is inherently a relationship-heavy field. The importance of building rapport with the community, classmates, coworkers—peers, juniors, and seniors cannot be overstated. As a lawyer, seize the opportunity to speak, always be prepared, and make an impact. Let those relations you build count.
3. Professional growth: Growth is a continuous process, and one cannot afford to get comfortable. In every session, we have had – without exception, this has been a key point to discuss. She has not only led by example but also guided me on the right courses, sharing her journey (the triumphs and pitfalls), and personally supporting me through every step of mine and following up relentlessly.
4. Efficient communication with clients and colleagues, including managing upwards with your superiors/ leaders. This involves clear messaging, active listening, and adapting your approach to ensure you both are on the same page. Read the room and be very well prepared. Don’t be afraid to ask - the worst response you can get is a ‘no’, either way, you do not lose anything.
5. ?Prioritizing and setting boundaries: I learned something profound about prioritizing. The first hour of the day should be dedicated to accomplishing personal tasks close to your heart especially family and personal growth. These should never be relegated to the end of the day. Setting clear boundaries goes a long way in helping one balance work and life. Saying ‘NO’ is ok.
6. Show up; show up afraid, show up nervous. The point is to show up. Through our discussions, I have learned that every person has their own fears, but they always show up and confront whatever monster it is. This is invaluable.
7. “Be switched on”. Initially, I didn’t understand what that meant but now I have an idea. You must smell the coffee. The world is evolving at a staggering pace, and you must be in tune with changing times otherwise you become a fossil. Read, listen, watch, smell, hear, and be in tune with what is around you.

Mentorship Generally.

1. Mentorship gives you an insight into what you don’t see on paper. It offers valuable insight into the interpersonal aspect of things (soft skills). You watch brilliant minds at work and observe how they balance their crazy schedules. Joining organizations and helping behind the scenes is an amazing way to build rapport and absorb skills as you go.
2. It’s important to remember that mentorship is a two-way street. You cannot expect a mentor to continue to reach out enthusiastically if it takes you a week to reply to their emails. Likewise, a busy mentor may not be able to provide the guidance that you specifically need; often, mentees feel bad about bothering their mentors for things they deem to be “unimportant,” but most mentors encourage questions.
3. Your discussion should not become a whine-fest! Your mentor is there to help give you objectivity and help you unravel how you feel about certain situations and what you need to get what you want. So be open and be fulsome with context (especially your perception of your needs and wants, which you should be ready to stress test).
4. Mentors can help you challenge your assumptions, especially about the longer-term realities of your short-term choices.
5. Listen. Ask multiple open questions.

I encourage everyone at whatever level of their career to embrace mentorship. The good old passing of knowledge and skills from generation to generation is still relevant. It is not a cliché. Identify that mentor and be intentional about reaching out to them. It is worthwhile.

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