Guidebook to your Therapist: The first chapter

Choppo nervosa

There is this amazing phenomenon occurring globally at all hair salons. Customers pore excitedly over hairstyles and unicorn colors with the precise instructions on how to help their hairstylist achieve it. They imagine themselves perched precisely over the cushy chair, waving their hands at their hairstylist and?presto! Blake Lively or Beyoncé. Or Dilraba Dilmurat, if they’re Asian. After the miracle, they walk away; heads higher and 5 inches taller.

But that never ever happens. Somehow the height of the chair is too high; customers end up clambering into it, all flustered. The hairdresser pays more attention to the next customer. Your appointed hairstylist takes a look at your desired hairstyle and says, “Nahh. Your shape/jawline/coloring/bleached hair/(fill in the blanks) does not suit that style.” BAM. Cowered and shriveled, you tell the hairstylist to “just trim the ends”.?

There is a name for it—hairstylist anxiety. I call it?choppo nervosa, the anxiety that overcomes a person when it comes to hair changes/haircuts. But then I ruminated further. Does it only apply to haircuts? What about other professionals—like clients meeting their therapists for the first time??

Hence, the guidebook to your therapist—the what-what-what-WHAT? on what to ask and how to ensure your therapist machine does not glitch.?

The first chapter

There are several things your therapist must and should explain to you during the first session. Unfortunately, because of a phenomena similar to?choppo nervosa, most clients get confused and neglect to ask important questions, sometimes at their own expense. They focus on how well they tell their story and present their problems (which is fine; you are supposed to tell your story) that they forget that they too can decide how the problems are solved. Too often, therapists are set on a pedestal of God-likeness and ethical breaches happen without clients being mindful of them.?

Informed Consent

Regardless of the setting, you are most likely to encounter informed consent twice—once in paper form, and once when your therapist waters down the terms of consent before you share your story. Remember, this has to be done before you start pouring out the deepest, darkest secrets of your heart, or else your therapist might not be legally bound to keep it to him/herself. On the rare event that your therapist does not bring it up, ask directly, “Can you explain the terms of informed consent for me?”?

Confidentiality

Records

Approach

Preferences

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