"A GUIDE for Self-Control & Self-Respect: 'The Four Agreements' "

As a Success Coach with 20+ years of experience, I have tried to absorb as much collective wisdom as I can on the topic of self-improvement. So, when I find a great one that has inspired me to take positive action in some key areas of my life, I love to share. At the top of my list is "The Four Agreements" by Don Miguel Ruiz.? I wholeheartedly recommend this book because these four principles are simple and yet so profound. I feel it offers a path to better mental health and a more joyful existence,?when put in practise.?Let's delve deeper into these commandments and uncover their power.

?At the top of the list is "The Four Agreements" by Don Miguel Ruiz.? I love this book because these four principles are simple and yet so profound. I feel it offers a path to better mental health and a more joyful existence, when put in practise. Let's delve deeper into these commandments and uncover their power.

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1. Be Impeccable with Your Word:

At its core, being impeccable with your word begins with keeping promises to yourself. When you commit to an action for your own benefit and follow through, you set in motion a ripple effect of self-respect and self-care. This self-trust becomes the cornerstone of your interactions with others. By keeping your word to yourself, you'll naturally find it easier to extend the same courtesy to those around you. The words we speak are powerful and can create our reality. Thus, we can practise creating our desired reality by refraining from gossip and speaking kindly of others and ourselves.

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2. Don't Take Anything Personally:?

Delving into the second agreement, we uncover a profound truth. When we stop taking things personally, we invite clarity and understanding into our lives. Misunderstandings and hurt feelings begin to dissipate as we embrace the freedom that comes with not internalizing every external comment or action. Instead, we open ourselves to a curiosity-driven exploration of others' perspectives. By not taking things personally, we evolve into better listeners. We can develop the ability to truly hear and empathize with others. This deeper level of listening enriches our own lives and enhances our connections with others.

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3. Don't Make Assumptions:

Moving on to the third agreement, we recognize the power of clear and open communication. By avoiding assumptions and asking questions when in doubt, we pave the way for genuine understanding and connection. ?When asking clarifying questions, we explore a deeper level of listening that better allows us to understand the others point of view, and stir up less our own wounds that we sometimes bring to the table. We begin to ask questions like, "What's behind that comment?" or "How can I best be of service to them right now?" or "What question can unveil the story behind this?"? This commitment to clarity can cultivate healthier relationships and prevent unnecessary conflicts and drama born out of misunderstandings.

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4. Always Do Your Best:

The fourth agreement is a call to action—a pledge to give your best effort in all that you do. It acknowledges that your "best" may change, depending on your circumstances, but what truly matters is your consistent effort to be the best version of yourself. This agreement fosters self-compassion and personal growth while allowing you to release the pursuit of perfection and most importantly – is encouraging of ongoing practise of the principles.

A word of caution - using these 4 principles is not easy. It takes constant self-awareness and that is challenging as we know that according to studies, 90% of the thoughts we have today were the same as yesterday.? But, making the effort as much as you can, and taking a few seconds before responding to use any of these principles to guide your word and actions, takes the guesswork out of how to react to complicated situations.

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I have seen first-hand from my own and my client’s experience that you can embark on a remarkable journey towards a more peaceful existence, where radiating more understanding, curiosity and love naturally bring genuine connection, and personal growth. Thank you, Don Miguel Ruiz!

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