A Guide to Relationship Workout for Men Season 3: Chemistry
Vince Vasquez
Business Development, Marketing and IT Consultant | Bestselling Author of The Next CIO | Relationship Fitness Advocate to Improve Men's Mental Health Assisted by Artificial Intelligence
?In Season 3 of the “Relationship Workout for Men” podcast, Vince introduces the second of 12 Relationship Workout core areas — Core #2: Chemistry — diving deeper into how to answer the foundational question: Do you two have true chemistry together?
You can also view the entire Podcast Guide.
Note: This season was designed to be listened to in episode order, starting with episode 1.
S3 E1: What is Your Sexual Strategy?
This episode challenges the notion of short-term tactics for sexual encounters, urging men to consider a long-term strategy for finding and maintaining a relationship with a sexually compatible lifetime partner. It explores the concept of chemistry as a core area of relationship compatibility, emphasizing the importance of understanding and fulfilling sexual desires to sustain attraction and connection over years. The discussion includes evolutionary theories on mate selection and practical strategies for enhancing chemistry, aiming to equip men with the knowledge to foster meaningful, passionate relationships.
S3 E2: Strategy #1: Give Good Chemistry Value-Add
This episode explores the contrast between men's often simplistic arousal criteria with women's more selective nature, emphasizing the importance of genuine connection beyond physical attraction. The episode breaks down chemistry into external cues and thoughts, exploring sensory features, signs of sexual interest, and the implications of first date behavior on perceived chemistry. Additionally, it highlights how evolutionary theories and societal expectations shape our desires and strategies in finding a sexually compatible partner, preparing the groundwork for a discussion on aligning sexual desires between partners in future episodes.
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S3 E3: What Women and Men Want
This episode embarks on a deep exploration of the evolutionary and psychological factors influencing mate selection from both male and female perspectives. It sheds light on the attributes women may seek in a partner, such as economic capacity, ambition, and commitment, and contrasts these with the evolutionary drives guiding men towards youth, physical attractiveness, and sexual fidelity. The episode aims to unravel the complexities of sexual strategies, emphasizing the importance of understanding what each gender values to foster a relationship with strong, lasting chemistry. Through insightful analysis, it navigates the nuanced desires and preferences that shape our choices in partners, setting the stage for further discussion on maintaining attraction and connection.
S3 E4: Strategy #2: Start with Lust
In Season 3 Episode 4, the podcast shifts focus from the evolutionary underpinnings of attraction to the immediate and potent force of physical chemistry and lust. This episode examines the Lust Cocktail—a blend of neurochemicals like dopamine and phenylethylamine that fuel sexual desire and attraction, highlighting the importance of initial physical attraction in forming potential long-term relationships. It also discusses how pre-existing feelings for someone else, a sense of urgency with age, and ones internal dialogue can either block or boost this essential chemistry. Through exploring these elements, the episode underscores the complexity of lust and its critical role in the dynamics of romantic relationships.
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S3 E5: Have I Met You Before?
In Season 3 Episode 5, Vince shares a deeply personal story highlighting the intoxicating and often blinding power of initial chemistry. Through a recounting of an intense encounter that began at a Las Vegas industry conference, the episode illustrates how an instant, overwhelming attraction can lead to decisions that defy logic and reason. The story evolves from an undeniable connection to a complex affair, ultimately unraveling into a breakup, serving as a cautionary tale about the limitations of chemistry as the sole foundation for a lasting relationship. This episode provides a raw, honest look at the complexities of love, attraction, and the hard lessons learned when chemistry leads the way.
S3 E6: Strategy #3: Transition from Lust to Connected Intimacy
In Season 3 Episode 6, Vince explores the evolution of relationships from the initial phase of lust to a deeper, more sustainable connected intimacy. The episode discusses how pure lust's exhilarating but short-lived phase inevitably requires transitioning to form a lasting bond characterized by comfort, commitment, and friendship. It introduces the concept of endorphins creating a sense of calmness and attachment, contrasting with the lust-driven neurochemical cocktail of early relationship stages. The narrative further delves into the dynamics of chemistry as it evolves, outlining potential paths a relationship can take: Connected Intimacy, Love-Hate, or Emotional Disconnect, and emphasizes the importance of actively working towards nurturing a deep, connected relationship beyond the ephemeral thrill of lust.
S3 E7: The Pregnancy through Toddler Stage Mulligan
In Season 3 Episode 7, Vince addresses the profound impact that pregnancy and early parenthood have on a couple's relationship, particularly regarding sexual chemistry and intimacy. The episode shares a personal narrative to highlight the unexpected challenges and adjustments new parents face, emphasizing the need for men to be exceptionally supportive and understanding during this transformative period. It advises men to prioritize their partner's needs and to view this time as a "mulligan," a period of adjustment where the normal rules of relationship engagement are temporarily suspended in favor of adapting to the new family dynamics. Through empathy, support, and a focus on the long-term health of the relationship, the episode encourages men to navigate these years with patience, suggesting that enduring these challenges together can ultimately strengthen the bond between partners.
S3 E8: Regaining the Chemistry Spark
In this final episode in season 3, Vince addresses the challenge of rekindling the spark in relationships that have veered onto the Love-Hate or Emotional Disconnect paths. The episode emphasizes that shifts in relationship chemistry, for better or worse, are possible and provides actionable steps for moving towards Connected Intimacy. It discusses the importance of commitment, the mental shift needed to replace negativity with acceptance, reducing drama, understanding and meeting your partner's needs, and ensuring mutual sexual satisfaction. This guidance is aimed at fostering a deeper, more meaningful connection that transcends the initial phase of lust, highlighting the dynamic nature of chemistry and the continuous effort required to maintain a fulfilling relationship.