Guidance for Introverts to Give Their Best Contribution at Virtual Meetings

This is the third in the series of answers to questions asked on the recent webinar for introverted leaders that I did for the Institute of Leadership and Management. Due to the high number of questions asked, it wasn’t possible to answer them all in the time allocated so I committed to answering them in this newsletter.

If you didn’t attend the webinar or want to watch it again, you can do so below.

Question - Given the current remote working situation and virtual meetings being the norm, is there any additional guidance you'd provide for introverts to contribute?

Answer – The way that most meetings are conducted don’t enable introverts to give their best contribution. This is because introverts like to think and reflect before speaking, whereas most meetings don’t allow for that. They expect on the spot responses.

Speaking up in meetings is a common challenge introverted women have. When it comes to virtual meetings in some ways these can be even worse. But there are ways in which you can contribute at virtual meetings, and for some, this is preferred to in person ones.

At in person meetings you can pick up on nonverbal cues and see when you can jump in and say what you have to say. This is harder to do in virtual meetings. Depending on your settings you may not even always have the person speaking in your view. This makes it harder to pick up on when they’re likely to finish what they are saying. This is even more so if not everyone has their video switched on.

Go through agenda items and papers in advance of meetings, making notes of what you want to express an opinion on. If as is often the case these days, papers are sent out last minute, have a word with the person who organises them letting them know you need them in advance if you are to give your best contribution.

Many introverted women tell me the good thing about virtual meetings is the chat box. A comment from someone who attended my webinar said that they loved online meetings because of this.

"Just to confirm what Carol said about using the chat box, I'm an introvert, and I love the chat box. I feel far more comfortable attending meetings online than in person."

Using the chat box means you get to say what you want to say knowing it will be seen. However, you are reliant on the facilitator making sure they check the chat box or have someone who is doing this. I was recently on a virtual meeting where an individual frequently unmuted themselves and said what they had to say.

This was despite everyone else adhering to the etiquette of this meeting which was to put their questions in the chat box and wait until they were invited to unmute themselves and have their question answered. Because the facilitator spent a lot of time responding to this person, there was someone who asked a question in the chat box, who didn’t get their question answered because the facilitator didn’t pick it up and ran out of the time.

You are dependent on the facilitator managing the meeting in a fair way so that everyone gets to contribute. However, the good thing is, even if your comments don’t get picked up there and then, the facilitator will most likely go through the chat box and pick up on it at the end.

Interject when appropriate

If your comments in the chat box are not being picked up, interject by raising your hand, whether physically or virtually. However, bear in mind that depending on what view the facilitator has their screen set to, they may not always see your raised hand if there are a lot of people at the meeting.

If you are still not being seen, unmute yourself when appropriate and say what you have to say. Having your view set to speaker view means that no matter who is speaking, they will always be on view to you. How you set this up will depend on the system being used for the meeting. Be observant and put your listening skills into practice when someone is speaking, picking up on the signs and pauses that indicate they are nearing the end of what they are saying so you can interject.

Make notes throughout the meeting about points you want to make. That way if you are unable to comment at the appropriate time because you have not been seen, when you do get the opportunity to speak, say you want to go back to that particular point.

There is also the option of sending a private message to the facilitator letting them know that your question or comment has not been picked up on.

Manage your energy

Virtual meetings can be more energy draining than in person meetings, and if you are having endless virtual meetings it can feel exhausting. When you feel drained it is harder to give your best, and when feeling like this on a virtual meeting it can be easy to disengage.

Make sure you manage your energy levels. Take regular breaks and give yourself time to recharge. And ask yourself, do you REALLY need to attend so many meetings.

What is your experience like of virtual meetings and how do you give your best to them? Let me know by commenting below.

About Me

I am the Coach for High Achieving Introverted Women, an Executive, Career and Leadership Coach. I help quiet women to excel as leaders. I also help organisations to get more women and Black, Asian, Minority Ethnic employees into senior leadership roles, and provide workshops, training and talks on personal development, career development and leadership development.

Are you an introverted woman in a leadership role who understands the importance of increasing your visibility online in order to increase your influence and impact as a leader, but struggle to do it in a way that feels authentic? If so, download my free training, Be Seen Be Heard, Stand Out Online: Self Promotion Training for Introverted Women Leaders here.

?My book Quietly Visible: Leading with Influence and Impact as an Introverted Woman addresses many of the challenges that introverted women face as leaders and shows how these challenges can be overcome. It was listed as one of the 10 best self-development books written by women to read during lockdown by BeYourOwn. The hardcopy is available here.

Or you can get it on Kindle here.