Grumble or Grateful

When I work with organizations and individuals, our conversation usually starts with issues and problems. These are the pain points that encourage people to seek help. We are prompted to action by the pain. The pain also impacts our focus and attitude.?It's OK to begin with grumbling, but we need to move from that quickly. When we look at the issues and problems, we will continue to move in that direction. Our grumbling focuses our energy and effort on perpetuating or recreating the conditions that got us grumbling in the first place. Shifting focus is not easy. We can feel stuck in the midst of challenges, and every option we see takes us back to the problem. How can we get unstuck??

One way I help clients shift their focus and get unstuck is to talk about what's working and what they are thankful for. First, I need to be sure they feel heard and that I understand their problem or issue. Once they know I'm tracking with them, they become open to questions about current successes and gratitude.?

This works on an individual level as well. Like many of us, I can wake up in the morning with all that is going wrong buzzing around my brain. My barriers and obstacles are all I can see. My pulse races, and I start my day with frantic activity that doesn't accomplish much. On good days when I notice this anxiety, I use it as a prompt to take a deep breath and think about what's going right and how much I have in my world to be thankful for. This brief pause and short gratitude exercise shift my focus in a new direction. I realize I don't need to stay stuck in my problems. New options appear.?

We steer toward what we focus on. If we stay focused on an issue, we tend to recreate the issue. It may look a bit different, but the fundamental problem will remain. A shift of perspective to include gratitude and success offers a new perspective on our situation. We can see new options that lead us toward success. We understand the issue better and notice what's working. We can move to define success. By framing success, we can focus on creating and implementing a plan that leads us away from the existing issues to a new and better place.