Growth is Uncomfortable

Earlier this year I started wearing Invisalign? appliances to straighten my teeth. After precisely measuring my bite, my dentist presented me with a box full of plastic appliances that I would wear sequentially, graduating from one to the other every two weeks, and then later, every week. With each iteration, the new appliance slightly alters the position of my teeth, until eventually, after I've worn each one in the box, my teeth will be fully aligned and beautiful (so says the dentist!). It's a gradual process that can take over a year to complete, and it is achieved by slow, steady progress, assuming I comply with the 22-hours-per-day of wear.

When I first put in a new appliance, it is uncomfortable. The pressure the appliance puts on my teeth lets me know that it is coercing them ever so slightly towards their eventual position. The dull pressure from the new appliance might lead to headaches, and in the extreme case, might cause me to remove the appliance and fall short of my 22-hour-per-day objective. The appliances have markers that wear off if worn consistently, so my dentist will know if I haven't been compliant, which extends the amount of time I will need to wear them.

After a day or two, the discomfort subsides. My teeth have moved sufficiently to ease the pressure. By the end of the period with the current instance of the appliance, I no longer notice any pressure at all. And then it's time for the next one. Progress! With each subsequent iteration, I feel the pressure and discomfort as my teeth respond to the new appliance and continue their shift towards my goal.

This isn't a post about teeth straightening or an endorsement for Invisalign, it's a post about personal growth. When I take on a new challenge, it is accompanied by a period of discomfort, sometimes bordering on pain, that makes me question my actions. It might take awhile, but I will struggle through the issues and I will slowly gain confidence in my approach and the situation will seem less daunting--the discomfort less noticeable. Eventually, I will be at peace with the situation and my ability to navigate it, and I will achieve a new equilibrium. I recognize this process as growth, so I am willing to stick it out through the headaches to hopefully reach my goal and bring myself closer to a new level of competency.

Once I achieve a new normal, meaning the discomfort associated with the initial change has subsided and I once again feel at ease with the situation, I know my growth has plateaued. As comfortable as this state may feel, it is a feeling I have to keep in check. Apathy at this point will eventually turn into staleness, and in the context of a career in technology, staleness is deadly. Instead, I must take a step back and look for the next goal to pursue, discomfort and all.

The worst thing I can do when facing a professional challenge is to opt out. This is akin to removing my Invisaligns because the pressure is too much. If I really want to achieve the post-growth state (i.e. straight teeth), then I'm going to have to bear some discomfort to get there. I might be discouraged because the incremental step I'm taking is far from the eventual state I wish to achieve, and it might not appear realistic that this small step is necessary or progressive to my goal. And unlike teeth appliances, the challenges I take on at work have many variables, and there's no guarantee that each step along the way actually will benefit myself, the team, or the company. Knowing when to pull back and re-evaluate my approach is an additional challenge to growth.

I've had the great fortune of managing a number of eager and capable people looking to advance themselves and move their teams and the business forward. I've had the opportunity to give them new challenges that I think will both help the business, and help them move towards their career goals. I can never be completely certain how they will deal with the challenge, or how they will handle the discomfort and pain associated with growth. There are many variables involved, and I can't predict exactly how it will go. Sadly, I've seen highly capable individuals opt-out of the challenge. When this happens, I question whether I did the right thing by putting them in the situation in the first place. Was it too soon? Did I not support them sufficiently? Was the challenge a worthy one? I feel their discomfort, too, and when they're not successful, I feel the pain of failure.

Growth isn't comfortable; I don't think it is supposed to be comfortable--you are being stretched, after all. It's easy for me to reflect on what growth feels like from the comfort of my keyboard, but in the moment, in the midst of the challenge, it just feels like pain. A very human reaction is to stop the activity you associate with the pain, and deal with the consequences of not achieving your goal, or perhaps finding an easier path. Maybe that path exists, but I don't believe there is a pain-free path to success. It's one thing to manage your own path through various stages of growth, thresholds of pain, and plateaus of comfort. It is perhaps a greater challenge, and one with greater consequences, to help guide others through the same process. This too brings discomfort and uneasiness, but I think I know the only way to get through it--keep the eventual goal crisply in focus, make sure both dentist and patient see it clearly, and remain empathetic and reassuring when the pain associated with growth inevitably makes its presence known.