Growth Strategy: Rejection Goals
Dionne Jude
School Improvement Partner | Interim Headteacher | Founder at reevew.co Personal Growth Toolkit | Author
When running my first business, my fear of rejection cast a long shadow over my entrepreneurial journey, stifling my progress and innovation. I hesitated to pitch new ideas, seek investment, or even market my business aggressively, paralysed by the thought of hearing 'no' or facing criticism.
This fear kept me in a safe zone, away from risks but also far from growth. Opportunities slipped through my fingers because I was too afraid to reach out and grab them, and my business languished in a state of what could only be described as comfortable mediocrity.
It was a frustrating cycle, watching peers leap forward while I remained stagnant, not for lack of ideas or ambition, but because the fear of rejection held me back from pursuing the very actions that could propel my business to success. Today we will explore a strategy to overcome this.
Good for: Overcoming the fear of rejection
Best used by: You
I recently came across the concept of rejection goals, popularised by Noah Kagan, while listening to a podcast. His approach encourages individuals to actively seek out rejection in various aspects of their lives, such as job applications, sales pitches, or social interactions.
Kagan suggests challenging oneself to ask for a discount at a coffee shop as a practical exercise in overcoming the fear of rejection. This task, seemingly simple, serves as a valuable lesson in assertiveness and helps build resilience against the fear of hearing 'no'.
The core idea is to...
Imagine setting a goal to receive ten rejections in a month. You pitch your project ideas to potential investors, ask for promotions, or suggest new initiatives at work.
Initially, the rejections sting, but gradually, you begin to notice a shift. You're not only less fearful of hearing 'no,' but you're also learning what works, refining your approaches, and even stumbling upon unexpected opportunities.
Psychological studies have shown that the brain processes rejection in similar ways to physical pain. This means that the fear of rejection is not just about worrying over potential future outcomes but also about avoiding the very real emotional discomfort that comes with being rejected.
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Where the fear of rejection comes from
People fear rejection for a variety of deep-seated reasons, many of which are rooted in fundamental aspects of human psychology and social dynamics. Understanding why we fear rejection is crucial for personal growth, as it can help us address these fears and move beyond them.
Historically, our survival often depended on being part of a group. Rejection from the group could have meant less access to resources, protection, and mating opportunities, putting an individual's survival at risk. Although modern society has evolved, our brains still hold onto this fear of being ostracised.
Also, from a young age, many of us are conditioned to seek approval and validation from others, whether it's from parents, teachers, or peers. This can create a pattern where our self-worth is overly dependent on external acceptance, making the prospect of rejection more daunting.
Reframing rejection
Reframing is one of my favourite strategies, so instead of viewing rejection as a personal failure, I tend to see it as valuable feedback. Ask yourself what you can learn from the experience. Perhaps there's a skill you can improve, a different approach you can take, or a new direction to explore.
Here are a few examples of how you can reframe rejection in various contexts:
By reframing rejection in these ways, you can transform it from a source of pain into a catalyst for personal development and new opportunities. This shift in perspective not only lessens the sting of rejection but also empowers you to continue moving forward with optimism and resilience.
Actionable Steps and Tips
Quote of the week
"Each rejection brings you closer to your next yes. Embrace it, learn from it, and let it fuel your journey."
Reflective Question
How can transforming your view on rejection change the way you pursue your goals and dreams?
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Remember you can find more reflections and thought-provoking questions like this on the Reevew personal growth toolkit at reevew.co.