Growth Mindset: The importance of 'Letting Go'

It may sound a little bit contradictory, but in order to grow in life, in business, as a person, we need to learn the importance of letting go.

Isn't it funny that something we say so easily "Oh, just let it go and move on", like a mic drop, very often is one of the hardest things to do? Whether it is guilt, love, loss, anger, betrayal, ... change is not always easy, yet it is innate to nature and it is necessary for us so we can evolve. Still, we fight to hold on and we fight to let go. Change can be viewed as either exciting or frightening, but regardless on how we view it, we must all face the fact that change is the very nature of life.

It is something that comes back in almost all the conversations I have had with friends and clients, something that I too, a person who in general embraces change, had to practice through both Mindset and Energy Work. And to be honest, when it comes to matters of the heart, it still isn't always easy.

With matters of the heart, I do not only refer to love, but to the importance of our heart chakra in general, since it is there where we store energy, both negative and positive, that causes blockages which again causes stagnation and prevents us from growing, from levelling up, because our energy cannot keep flowing.

"Sometimes letting things go is an act of far greater power than defending or hanging on." - Eckhart Tolle

Now, why is this, you may ask? I'll get into that in a bit, but first let's go back to the importance of letting go.

It is a universal law that in order to attract and welcome better things into your life, you must create space for it. You have to cut cords, focus on what matters and let go of what does not, for what you pay attention to will only grow. Think of it as opening the door of your home to invite somebody in and noticing that some ghost from the past is standing in the doorway, preventing that person to step inside, or a more simple example, selling your old car in order to buy a new one.

Most of the time, the reason for holding on is fear. Fear for the unknown, fear that what is to come will not be better than what we are already having, even if that what we are having is actually causing us pain, or is "not bad yet not making us happy either". We fear 'the void'.

This also proves that very often, we do not believe that all we need is already inside of us and that we do think that we depend on people, events, circumstances outside of us. We let our intellect, not our reason - mind the difference, take over and have lost touch with our intuition, our gut feeling. We do not realise that by attempting to protect ourselves from problems and pain, we are actually creating more problems and pain. Only when the pain becomes unbearable, we will decide to let go. No wonder we hear so many stories where people say that they first had to reach 'rock bottom' before being able to change.

We need to understand that fear is a thing, just another object in the universe that you're capable of experiencing. So either you recognise fear and work to release it, or you keep it and try to hide from it.

"In the process of letting go you will lose many things from the past, but you will find yourself." - Deepak Chopra

Yet, letting go is part of the journey towards ourselves. It is about transformation, growth, re-connecting with your essence and your authentic power. In fact, it is about emotions - energy in motion. It is about recognising the emotion, feeling it, accepting it and then letting it (the energy) flow, straight through us, so it will not block and limit us in the future. It is about investigating and recognising patterns and triggers. The moment we become aware of this and have done the work around it, we will each time find it easier to move forward, to evolve and grow into our highest self.

"Gracefully let go of things not meant for you." - Buddha

In life you will always encounter situations that will push you to your edges, all with the effect of removing what is blocked inside of you, whether it is emotions from your childhood, ancestral/ generational trauma or a shockingly painful experience in adulthood. This being said, that which is blocked and buried within you forms the root of fear. When your energy is blocked it cannot come up and feed your heart. Therefore, your heart becomes weak and susceptible to lower vibrations, such as fear, which is one of the lowest if not THE lowest of vibrations. Do you start to recognise the vicious circle? As Michael A. Singer explains, fear is the cause of every problem: It is the root of al prejudices and the negative emotions of anger, jealousy and possessiveness. If you had no fear inside of you that could cause you any disturbance, you'd be willing to face everything and nothing would bother you.

So let go of what is weighing you down and set yourself free! Claim your accountability, and then co-create something better.

5 How-To's:

1. Cry it out. Don't hold back your tears, let them flow and release tension. Give yourself space.
2. Pay 'tribute'. Say "Thank You". Forgive. Whether in person, on paper or in thought. Whether this is about yourself or another person.
3. Listen to and focus on what YOU need and not on what others might 'think you need'.
4. Focus on the opportunities ahead. Remember when one door closes, another one will open.
5. Learn to get comfortable being uncomfortable.

Ask yourself: What can I now create for myself in my relationships or career? Where can I move? What can I do that I haven't done before? Focus on the possibilities. Dream big!

What do you need to 'let go' and what kind of help could you use in order to do so? Share your thoughts in the comments below.