The Growth Curve & the “Reminders” That Shape Leaders.

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I’ve always loved pursuing personal and professional development. From the moment I started my career, I was all in, diving headfirst into leadership, entrepreneurship, and as many workshops as I could find to up my skills.

My first professional development experience was in 2008 with the Dale Carnegie organization. It had a huge impact on me. I was so impressed with their program that I hired them to train my entire company. Seeing my team grow fueled my passion even more. I eventually became a program facilitator and held a workshop for eight weeks, after hours, for 20 of my employees. That experience taught me a ton about my love for training and leadership.

With each new program, I grew incrementally. I joined Dan Sullivan’s Strategic Coach program and signed on with EOS in 2016. In 2017, I trained and got certified as a Kolbe Corp Assessment Trainer. Looking back, I can see how these investments helped me attract higher-caliber employees. It also elevated the standards of my leadership team. With every step forward came a ripple effect, benefiting not just me, but my entire company. That’s because I made it a priority to share all of these resources with those around me. As a result, our performance increased and I learned early on that pouring my growth into a collective strategy wasn’t just something nice to do; it became my responsibility.

However, the biggest catalyst in my growth curve was in 2010, when I decided to hire an executive coach. He taught me everything I needed to hear exactly when I needed to hear it. We practiced every week and one of my favorite aspects of his coaching was his “By Way of Reminders”. He would hit me with these bits of wisdom so frequently, and over time, they became ingrained into my worldview.

By Way of Reminder…

Care, but not that much.

I finally figured out why we care so much about what people think of us — — because we’re normal. However, we tend to obsess a little too much about what people are thinking and many times end up catastrophizing or assuming something that is not true.

Here’s some truth: people are not thinking about you as much as you think they are- they’re too busy thinking about themselves. And, it’s really none of your business anyway what everyone else is thinking. When you focus on becoming the best version of yourself, the less you’ll be worried about what others are thinking. So, the next time you hear someone say that you shouldn’t care so much about what people think, remind yourself: You should care, but not that much.

55, 38, 7

Albert Mehrabian, a psychology professor, developed a communication formula back in the 60s based on nonverbal communication. He found that 55% of how you’re perceived when speaking comes from your body language. So, it’s important to be aware of how much your face and physical gestures carry weight in your overall communication.

One of my personal favorite reminders is your face is not your face; your face is public property. It’s a good reminder because you don’t have to walk around looking at your own face all day, other people do. Try smiling more, even if you don’t always feel like it. You’ll be surprised how much of an impact it can have on everyone who looks at you.

38% of your communication skills come from your voice — your tone, your cadence, and how you make people feel when they hear you speak. And surprisingly, just 7% of your message lies in the actual words you use.

Bottom line: Talk is cheap. If you want to be a strong leader, become a connector. Great connectors are always working on improving their communication skills.

Translation: Stop writing and reading from a piece a paper and start practicing what you want to say in front of a mirror.

AND & HOWEVER’s

Leadership is full of paradoxes and contradictions. While you might see things from one perspective, it’s important to recognize there’s always another take on every topic. Having an open mind is key as you learn and grow. Leave room for “And’s” or “However” at the end of most of your beliefs and statements. For example, consider the 55, 38, 7 communication formula. It’s a powerful framework, HOWEVER, there’s also a good argument to be made that showing someone how to do something is more effective than simply telling them, regardless of how captivating your communication might be.

Check out what my coach did during a live team leadership practice to prove this point.

AND, it’s also worth mentioning that your words can sometimes carry more weight than you think depending on the context. Talk about a contradiction to the formula….

The last reminder, courtesy of my coach, is his favorite one-liner: “Leaders are Believers”.

There’s a lot of depth in these 3-words. When evaluating someone’s leadership qualities, consider the following: Does the person authentically embody their own message? Are their words compelling enough to capture your attention? Gauge their credibility: do they ignite curiosity, interest, or inspiration? Pay attention to how they respond to questions. Are they believable?

What reminders do you live by? Be deliberate and gather up as many as you can from people you believe in. The more habits, disciplines, and reminders you establish for yourself, the more you become your own influence — far better than being shaped by the first page of apps on your I-phone.