Growing Up With My Best Friend

Growing up on Johnson Avenue was idyllic. I was the younger of two girls. My grandparents looked after me until I attended school full-time since both my parents worked. However, we were never latchkey kids as my father was a teacher and was home most days before my sister and me.

When we moved onto Johnson Ave., our home was new construction, it also happened to be the smallest on the block—a ranch. It was right on the corner, not too far from a Stop sign and one of those big blue U.S. Post Office mailboxes, remember those? 

We knew everyone on the block, or should I say everyone knew us, kids? My best friend, a boy, was Freddie, the same age as me. He lived about five houses down the block to the left. Ironically, before the Johnson Avenue house was built my parents lived in a duplex, owned by Freddie’s aunt and uncle. Technically, I met Freddie when I was a baby, so everyone tells us. We were friends before we could even remember being friends.

"The best mirror is an old friend." --George Herbert

I was thrilled to be moving onto Freddie’s block and have a built-in playmate. However, my mom pushed me to socialize with the girls from dancing school, Catechism, grammar school or around the corner. 

It’s not as if I didn’t play with dolls, Barbies or dress-up. I just enjoyed my adventures with Freddie more. We didn't do anything special. We mostly rode our bikes. 

Friends are the siblings God never gave us.” – Mencius

His grandfather worked in the trucking industry and shipped animals to pet stores. Many times, my father would have this panic-stricken look on his face while he was talking on the marigold yellow phone in our kitchen.  “No, we don’t want a tarantula, but thank you for thinking of us,” he said.

Freddie wound up with quite the pet menagerie. There was Clyde, an English Lop rabbit, with biggest floppiest ears, ever. A wonderful horse whose name I’ve forgotten that was kept at a barn nearby and cared for by Freddie’s Uncle Midge. Barnie, a 15-pound dog who loved eating loaves of crispy Italian bread, especially warm from the bakery.

And, then a tank of hermit crabs who were nameless. Somehow every kid in the neighborhood wound up with at least one crab—including the Martin kids!  If you didn’t continuously clean out their housing, not only did it stink, but pests would flock to the aquarium. Let's say we didn't have Hermie, our crab very long!

Freddie’s mom was a colorful lady who insisted I call her Eileen and her husband was simply “Big Fred.” This felt so wrong as a child in the 1980s, as everyone always had a salutation in front of their last name. My parents corrected me every time I said their first names. I secretly enjoyed being empowered to call an adult by their first name!  

I always felt like I was part of their family. Staying for lunch or dinner was not a “thing” it was natural.

Freddie’s sister Jacqueline received an Easy-Bake Oven for Christmas. Freddie was more excited to test it out than his Jackie. He was a foodie of a different sort.

After that, I realized Freddie had a real affinity for stirring up trouble. 

We were in the kitchen one snowy day, and Freddie decided to make pudding. He dragged two chairs over to the counter. I’d never done anything like this in my house. I climbed on up. Next thing I know, I jumped into the air. Freddie turned the burner on where I was sitting. Yes, I was sitting on an electric burner, not the counter! What fools, we were. Fortunately, I wasn’t burned.   

"If ever there is tomorrow when we’re not together… there is something you must always remember. You are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think. But the most important thing is, even if we’re apart… I’ll always be with you." --Winnie the Pooh, A.A. Milne

We had the freedom to test things out at Freddie’s house. Eileen believed in allowing us to prep our own food at lunch including the use of appliances, but that would never fly at my house. There was something liberating and fun about being there. Mind you, we weren’t in danger, Eileen was always right there, she was also raising two other children, one who was a toddler. Eileen was just more relaxed than both of my parents when it came to using household appliances—and other things for that matter!

Freddie would mix weird concoctions together and say, “Try this, it’s delicious.” His most unusual dish was combining tuna fish from a can adding ketchup and mustard. “No way," I said. He wasn’t shy about asking Mr. Martin to whip up some of those strange recipes either. My father would look at him with concern and then say, “Freddie, are you going to eat this?”  Each time, Freddie would eat, the ‘slop.’

Probably the worst thing Freddie did from a mischief perspective was inside Big Fred’s woodworking shop. Big Fred was a master carpenter by day. His passion was carving intricate artwork from logs or 2x4 boards. 

Big Fred created the hands of Jesus with palms spread open in a gratitude gesture.  It took Big Fred several weeks to create this masterpiece. Freddie broke the fingers, so the hands were now making an obscene gesture. I knew breaking the artwork was a terrible thing to do, but I was so naive, I didn’t understand the significance of the obscene gesture. Moreover, why did Freddie break the fingers on both hands? Fearful, I ran straight home and didn’t tell a soul. Big Fred just asked Freddie to kneel and ask for God’s forgiveness.  

When we were having our adventures, many times you’d find us digging in the dirt in the backyard, overlooking the town’s middle school. We talked a lot about what we’d do when we got there in a few years.  

Freddie collected Star Wars action figures. This kid had hundreds of them.

When my parents announced we were moving just a quarter-mile away to a bigger house in fourth grade, Freddie cried. Okay, so did I. The tears weren’t so much about the move to a bigger house. It also meant I was being transferred to a different school in our district.

We had been in every class together since nursery school and played together almost daily. Freddie was feeling as sad as me about this upcoming relocation.

Freddie also knew he was getting too old to play with Star Wars figures, so he began digging a huge hole or a mass grave. We started burying all the Star Wars figures.  It took all summer.

I moved midway through the fourth-grade year but didn’t officially transfer to the new grammar school until fifth grade. Yes, I was devastated.  The kids at the new school weren’t exactly my cup of tea.  Okay, there were about three that became my good friends.

Even though our families are tight friends, I lost touch with Freddie.  In the beginning, we’d call each other. But as they say, when you’re out of sight, you’re out of mind. It’s hard to stay a priority in someone’s life—plus hormones were setting in. We were changing.

Eventually, we became those teenagers in that middle school behind Freddie’s house. And guess what? Freddie became the heartthrob that all the girls swooned after.  This made me laugh because he was the same guy I dug in the dirt with—and he cried when I moved away. I wasn't hideous but I certainly wasn't going to follow after Freddie like a lost puppy dog.

Fortunately, Freddie was still a #friend. He’d always stop and talk. The popular girls would snark, “Why are you talking to her?” as if there was something wrong with me.  I chalk his response to those girls to his wonderful family and the great values he holds.

Freddie would always smile and say, “We’ve been friends since we were babies—we’re going to be friends forever.”

By high school, Freddie was not only the most handsome guy in the school but probably the strongest, too. He also was very likable. He had a winning personality, too.

Freddie was a talented football player, at a high school that hadn’t won a game in about three years. 

I still remember Freddie wearing a T-shirt that read, “The streak is snapped, the pride is back.” He was one of several players that led the school back to victory. His success didn’t go unnoticed. Freddie was recruited to Penn State University football on a full scholarship. Ironically, he wasn't really interested in school or college. It was so great to see where his talents were taking him.

I was arguing with a guy at my locker. Out of nowhere Freddie came and picked this kid up and took him to the stairwell. To this day, I’m not sure what Freddie said to him, but that kid never bothered me again.

Freddie came back to my locker and asked if I was okay. Freddie told me, “Don’t hesitate to call me to me if that guy or anyone bothers you, I’m always here for you, Sue.” 

The girls who were part of Freddie’s posse—yes, he always seemed to have a pack of three or five girls who followed him--were standing there, stupefied. Freddie gave me a huge bear hug. That was the last time I saw him.  I corresponded via letter, card, and care package for a while at Penn State. He was excited he had a group of girls lined up to do his laundry.

At our graduation his father, Big Fred came running over to me. He had tears in his eyes and said, “Our little girl is all grown up. I was thinking of while I was digging in the garden a few weeks ago. All those years ago, you and Freddie buried those Star Wars figures … I’m still finding them now, like 10 years later while I plant my corn!”

Sometimes, there are bonds of friendship that are tight like family—that can never be broken.

I don’t see Freddie very often. Sometimes it’s at a happy occasion like a wedding. More often it’s at a funeral.  

I adore Freddie and his family. They fill some of my happiest childhood memories.

Reflecting back on those days on Johnson Avenue, I wouldn't have chosen a different best friend. It was our family's mutual friendship that created my best friend before I was even walking and talking at different playdates. Our move to Johnson Avenue just solidified a friendship that was already in the works thanks to our families.

Freddie taught me to be #adventurous, #creative and #transparent.  And, after all those years even though he was Mr. Popularity at high school he demonstrated the childhood promise a best friend by being to be #loyal, #kind and #honorable to his friends. He's just a great guy at heart and always will be in my book.

"Truly great friends are hard to find, difficult to leave, and impossible to forget." -- G. Randolf

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???? Susan L. Martin, MA is a people connector, message translator, bridge builder, business strategy storyteller, a decoder of nonverbal communication. She has 20+ years’ experience supporting leadership in corporate and public organizations with their greatest communication challenges and change projects. She's supported cybersecurity, defense, energy, insurance, Information Technology (IT), nonprofit, publishing and travel clients during her career.????