Growing Through Discomfort

Rabbi Dr. Abraham Twerski, shared a metaphor that has stuck with me ever since I first heard it. He compared personal and professional growth to the life cycle of a lobster. A lobster, as it grows, eventually finds its shell too tight, too restrictive. It becomes uncomfortable. The only way forward is to shed that shell and form a new one. But in that moment—before the new shell hardens—the lobster is vulnerable, exposed to the elements and potential predators. And yet, this is the only way it can grow.

I’ve been thinking about this a lot lately. Discomfort is often a signal that growth is happening, yet we instinctively resist it. Whether it’s in our careers, relationships, or personal development, we tend to view discomfort as a sign that something is wrong, rather than an indicator that we are in the middle of necessary transformation.

In business, we often talk about?stretch goals—targets just beyond our current abilities that push us to learn and develop new skills. But what we don’t talk about enough is the?discomfort?that comes with stretching. A new leadership role, a challenging project, or even a difficult conversation with a colleague can make us feel uncertain and exposed, much like the lobster without its shell. Yet, those who embrace the discomfort rather than retreat from it are the ones who grow into stronger, more capable versions of themselves.

Think about the first time you stepped into a leadership role. The weight of responsibility, the need to make decisions without perfect information, the pressure to set the tone for your team—it likely felt overwhelming at times. But looking back, would you trade that discomfort if it meant staying stagnant? Growth in leadership, like in life, demands that we push through those uncomfortable moments.

Beyond the professional realm, we face moments of discomfort in our personal lives as well. Maybe it’s a tough conversation with a loved one, a significant life transition, or confronting a personal shortcoming. The temptation is to avoid the pain, to stay in the comfort of our old shell. But growth asks more of us.

In 2009, I was living in Manila, Philippines. At the time, we were onshoring the work that was happening there by a 3rd party, and I was offered the opportunity to uproot my life and move to Omaha, Nebraska, instead of returning home to my family and friends in Portland, Oregon. This was as scary as it was exciting. I was being given the opportunity to have a paid move to a new part of the country, but I would have to leave everything I knew behind—the local culture, friends, proximity to family, and the outdoor activities I loved. But I would also gain and grow. I would develop new levels of independence. I would step into an opportunity to lead and grow my corporate leadership career. And I would have the opportunity to help establish, develop, and grow an entirely new location for Yahoo!.

It was uncomfortable, but looking back, it was one of the best decisions I ever made. It set the foundation for so much of my personal and professional growth.

The next time we find ourselves in an uncomfortable situation, we need to ask:?Is this discomfort a sign of growth??Rather than viewing challenges as roadblocks, consider them milestones on the path to becoming stronger, wiser, and more resilient.

Rabbi Twerski’s lobster metaphor reminds us that transformation requires vulnerability, but it also promises expansion. If we resist discomfort, we risk staying in a shell that no longer fits us. But if we lean into it, trusting that growth is on the other side, we give ourselves the opportunity to evolve into something greater.

So, as you step into this week, consider:?What uncomfortable situation are you facing right now? And is it, perhaps, a sign that you’re about to grow into something bigger?

Here’s to shedding old shells and embracing new strength. ??

Have a great week ahead!